We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Matteo Esposito. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matteo Esposito below.
Matteo Esposito, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?
The most meaningful project, is definitely my one-act play about autism Sorting It Out.
Based on a true story that happened to me on a transit bus in Oakville Ontario, Canada, this play has been performed Off Off Broadway in New York City and at the Richmond Hill Performing Arts Center this past April.
The main message of my play is comes down to two simple words: unconditional love!
It’s basically a morality play on how we treat people using kindness and unconditional love.
Now, here’s the best thing about my play, and I know some people will not like me mentioning this name, but me being a Catholic/Christian, I believe it was Jesus, the son of God who gave me the true inspiration to write this play.
Every week, I find something new with this piece, like how the antagonist wants to be God, but he’s a human being and no one can be God and/or Jesus.
Also, Sorting It Out it’s also power of the human spirit and forgiveness, which Jesus teaches in the Bible And Beyond.
Anthony Tullo, Country Rock Southern Americana Singer-Songwriter and award-winning filmmaker from Oakville, Ontario, Canada, who also happens to be my uncle, directed the original production, while Jean Paul Michellepis, produced the original production as well as the recent Richmond Hill Ontario, production which Anthony was also involved in, as Fight Director and they both believe in the message of the script, that Jesus was sending through my hands to write this play and deliver a universal message.
Matteo Esposito, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I was born many moons ago with a disease called hirschbung’s disease, which is a bowel disorder.
I was a very sick baby when I was a kid (No, not sick in the head!)), and I had 10 surgeries in the operating room to this day.
I was diagnosed at around 6, 7 or 8, (I can’t remember), with autism but not knowing that I had autism at the time because I was so young.
Like many other kids at the time and Beyond to this day with autism and with other disabilities, I got yelled at,assaulted and told I couldn’t do this. This was all all while I was in elementary and high school.
At the beginning of Gade 7, the warning before the storm happened.
I went to see Jersey Boys in Toronto, Canada. I loved it adoring the fact of the music but not really knowing what was actually going on on stage backstage and all that magical stuff that we call Theater.
I was moving to a different school for the Fall of Grade 7, and the moment I walk in the first week in September with The Child Youth Counselor,, She said we were. We are going to be writing letters to “Stars” (Stars being Celebrities), for example Nick Jonas or Miley Cyrus, and Josh Bell.
I decided not to write to any of those people so I decided to write to Jeff Madden,
He was the six times a week. Frankie.
I wrote to him after seeing the show the past summer.
But I never thought that he would give me a lasting impression of Jersey Boys that stayed with me to this day.
Near the end of September, the secretary gets a call that sounded probably a little something like this
“Hello, this is Jeff Madden. I play Frankie Valli. I’m in Jersey Boys, I got a letter from a student of yours Matteo Esposito. Can I come and visit him?”
Of course, you don’t get a phone call like that everyday.
By that time, this domino effect kind of happened, where she went to the Child Youth Counselor ,went to to my teacher, and the Two EA’s (Educational A-Holes! I mean Assistant(s. I apologize! But in all honesty, both were very strict and rude!!), then my parents got a phone call.
There was a time during that day, where my teacher (I have to admit was not bad at her job,), said “Matteo, do you need to go to the washroom?
Not thinking that that was a stupid question because I was young at the time, I said “Okay”
So would she escorted me down the hallway to the washroom, a private one wheelchair accessible. You know that sort of thing,
The moment I touch the door handle to the washroom, I see the CYC, my parents (Mom and Dad!), and our school Secretary walking into the classroom surrounding someone.
Now I originally thought “It must be the Superintendent to give me an award”., not knowing that this experience will change my life, and will prepare me for the haunting and devastating reality that was to come (I admit I’m even getting emotional as I write this.)., and so I finished my business, then come out.
The moment I come out, the teacher kind of pushes me and says “Go wash your hands! Go wash your hands!” Just FYI, this was way before covid folks!!
Now, I catch on. They’re trying to hide something from me, the So I come out, grab the teacher’s shirt by the collar and bring her in, and said You better tell me what’s going on or I will freak!!!”
Now, she got a little bit scared and revealed that someone from Jersey Boys is here to see you. I knew at that exact moment it was Jeff Madden, and chills went down my spine!
We both walked back to the classroom and standing. I don’t know 5 6 ft away, was Jeff Madden, the man who I wrote to and the man who played Frankie Valli six performances a week in The city of Toronto in the Toronto Production of Jersey Boys.
I didn’t want to go into the classroom! So, I said in the hallway sitting down and infamously said ” If I touch this guy’s hand, I’m dead!’
Fortunately, I’m not dead and I’m so blessed that he came!
He bought me three items. Two from the show, and a handwritten card,
The most important thing was the handwritten card.
Because of the message that it sent.
In Jersey Boys, every Frankie Valli has to be approved by the real Frankie Valli, meaning he has always the final say because Jersey Boys believe it or not, is the story of how Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, starting out from their time as thieves, in and out of jail, and all this interesting stuff, and this happened all before there first hit called Sherry. I think that’s what makes the show what it is today, which is a smash it!
I have to admit I did steal before in public, I didn’t get arrested or charged or went to court and I was very young when I stole, I’ve been to the elementary school office numerous times for giving attitude to the EA’s (In which, 99.9% were rude and controlling!!), and this was before I moved, to the new school in Grade 7., and when I saw an interview with Frankie, and he talked about a minor crime that he did, which I can relate to, I wept.
In fact, I weep every time I hear his music. Why?
Of what Frankie told. Jeff. Jeff put in his handwritten card for me.
It read “Just believe in yourself and there’s nothing you can’t do.”
Over the years I cried, over that card and his Frankie’s music reading it and reading it, dreaming of becoming successful, and bettering myself, through any which way that I can.
The storm was happening, while this was going on.
The storm was called High School.
7 years in the high school penitentiary: AKA Special Ed. A crap show in and of itself, with a great deal of doctoral business meaning they treated controlling you one way with the parents walking but when the parents left they have a totally different way of acting, thinking, and controlling you. I went to a Catholic High School and Elementary School.
But I guarantee you even in a public school, they would act and treat me the same, like a piece of s***, I wanted to get into College so I could be a Set Designer, and everyone that I talk to from the theatre industry Said I need to go to college or university to get a job. Basically what they’re saying is I need “A piece of paper” just to compete in the workforce, because without that and/or barely any good experience, and my disability with autism, they will send me right to the ground and say these two classic lines: “Will let you know when we want you or “We’ll keep your resume on file and let you know if there’s any future opportunities”
Too crappy ways to rip somebody off and tell them know “We don’t want you.”
I got so fed up with them that I said a threat to a teacher and they suspended me for that, but here’s the real funny part:. When they do something stupid or wrong they don’t go, behind bars if they assault somebody, if they threaten someone by saying “You better the work this time or I’ll fail you” or if they yell at their students,
Think about that for a second folks.. Now after the suspension, I got even more fed up that I wanted to commit suicide, because they did not give me what I wanted: to try a Grade 9 applied English Class.
They told me in accordance with the doctors that did studies on me (While I was at a mental institution while I was in high school which was another piece of b*******.), that I couldn’t do it. But they never told me why I couldn’t do it.
They constantly recommended a specialized program, which wasn’t fair to me because I can walk. I can talk and I can think pretty well.
In a day and age where they still use the word: “Why?”, I wonder “why” nobody asks “Why this and why that?” Why can’t I do that? Why can’t you do this?”
Not to mention getting to the root of the problem and helping that person to achieve there dreams, as in getting into College and University.
Giving the same support while they’re there. and going to and from the university what most parents with special needs, are worried about or they don’t give a s*** about, especially if it’s in a different city or town.
“We can pay for the tuition” some parents say “But we will not support you with your transportation or anything else.”
I did not have a problem with this until now, let me explain I wanted to be a Set Designer (Which is an architect for the stage.), I got into the best college for technical theater After deciding, to go after my dream of becoming a set designer. I graduated without being a designer, but working as a technician, through their productions.
Is there mission driving your creative journey?
Absolutely there is not to mention the responsibility to my work and to represent the disabled community as a whole.
My mission is to lead people to Jesus Christ through Theater and performance.
How can we best help foster a strong, supportive environment for artists and creatives?
Firstly, there’s not enough resources out there, and not enough people who want to help as in be kind to other people, give to other people and offer support even though they’re not in that field to other people. That’s the honest truth. There’s nothing really we can do, because it’s up to the person making the decision to help.
But most people don’t want to help an person with autism like myself.
. They could talk to me which I don’t mind but that won’t get us anywhere, Some people are afraid of us using hate as their forefront, to literally get away from us.
But as I say “Sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to be comfortable.” Then people say to me. “Matteo! I have to write that down. That’s a great quote!'” Now if people don’t follow it, what’s the point of writing it?l down?
Here’s a bit more of my story though:
After 5 years I graduated with my advanced college diploma in The Technical Production for the Performing Arts industry at Sheridan College, which was in my hometown, and extremely well known for their theatrical talent that they produce, on and off the stage. The musical Come From Away did its first workshops at Sheridan College, and we where the first College to developed a show before went to Broadway.
The talented Performers, Technicians and Crafts People who went to Sheridan and graduated, are some of the best in Ontario and it’s the best college In Ontario for what we do
I learned everything from Props, and Scenic Paint to Rigging and Drafting), except what I wanted to do,
Yes, there was only one course on Set Design, but one course is not enough.. Most Set designers have a degree.
University is hard for me to get to because it’s not in my hometown nor is it the town next to it or the town next to it.
The main university that I wanted to go to is a 45-minute drive or a 2 and 1/2 hour train ride.
The other university is about a 1 hour to an hour and 15 minute train ride.
Both universities are in a big City called Toronto, Canada.
So I applied, even doing a university English while I was in college, just to get into one of the universities.
And guess what? I got a 94%!!
But let me tell you the hard truth about all this.
I graduated Sheridan, this year.
And I thought let’s get into university and learn some set design but it’s completely and utterly unfair, that I got into both but I can go.
The real reason that I truly can’t go: Is because “I react like an “animal” when somebody tells me an innocent joke, it’s sarcastic with me, or even teases me. You could say “Practice what you preach Matteo! You said that you have to be uncomfortable, to be comfortable!” While yes, that is true , I have autism. That is not an excuse. Not an explanation but a true fact!!
Meaning, I need help and I can’t do it alone!
“Well then, You could call some people/ organizations up and and they can help you.”
“Okay! But, how would you know if they would help me? How would you know if they would be interested In a person like me with a disability or even that they would pick up the phone? And what organizations do you recommend?”
The correct response to those questions would be “I don’t know?”
I’m hoping you get the picture that I’m not a smart-ass, but I’m trying to make you have empathy on both sides of the coin.
The person encouraging the person with autism, might not have melon intent but good intentions, but do they know my struggles and my story?
The answer would be “No!”
It would be my dream to be a Set Designer!!
But mentors won’t work with me Why? Because I don’t have the skills to become a designer, because I never studied it.
I’m sad and very depressed about it.
I never got what I wanted, just because I’m autistic and I have triggers.
People can say to anyone “I believe in you!” Or “You got to believe in yourself!”
But, sadly there’s just words and words unfortunately don’t have action to help people, but they can be encouraging.
I rather have people be kind to me and help me instead of encourage me.
From positive and amazing, to anger and depression about me wanting to go to university just so I can say “I have the qualifications for me to work”, and people are holding me back because of it.
I don’t want encouraging or discouraging words. I want people to go out of their way and help another person and be kind to the other person whether they’d like it or not, because all we really have is one life (God, I’m getting so emotional right now.), and people sadly don’t know how to use it for good but only for themselves, or the people that they prioritize as “good”, but not anyone without a piece of paper.
I hope this is a lesson to all of you, that Even though I am human yes, some people need help more than others,
If they don’t get the help, they’re going to hate their life, until they on their deathbed, still regretting that “I wish I could have done that, but no one was there to back me up and help me achieve what I wanted to achieve to both of our actions, not just words.”
Then, as they’re thinking that, their spirit goes.
How would you feel if you were in this situation? Think about it long and hard. I know I have.
Image Credits
1. Anna Tullo
Other photos:
1. Matteo Esposito
2. Matteo Esposito
3. Yolanda Esposito
4. Yolanda Esposito
5. Anthony tullo
6. Julie Banes