Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Matt Graham. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below. Matt is currently “Writer in Residence” at the Pioneertown Motel in Pioneertown, California.
Alright, Matt thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s start with inspirations and heroes. Are there any historical figures you look up to?
I published an article in TOPIA Magazine recently about the writer F Scott Fitzgerald’s time in Hollywood. After being offered a lucrative contract by MGM, he arrived there in 1937 and died four years later in 1941 while eating a Hershey bar at his girlfriend Sheilah Graham’s apartment. It was a rather ingnominious way to go, but the method of his departure suited his chaotic life perfectly.
On the face of it, its a depressing story: Fitzgerald arrived in a deep state of emotional crisis; his “life of the party” lifestyle and days of public adoration were firmly over, his glamorous wife was in a mental asylum, and he was virtually broke – having to pay her medical bills and his daughter’s school fees. He was an alcoholic and a heavy smoker, but perhaps more importantly, he’d lost hope. He believed his days of being able to create were behind him. The books that had made him famous were out of print. He was in modern terminology – in The Hole. We call Scott’s condition “Writer’s Block” and my article was all about how it affects us, physically and emotionally and where it comes from.
Under close inspection however, his story is anything but depressing. From a shaky start, in Hollywood Fitzgerald managed to overcome these demons slowly but surely; it was a very difficult journey for him to be sure – and it didn’t come easily. He was soon fired from MGM because of his drunkenness, but with Graham, he managed to achieve a healthy relationship – despite his alcoholism which put it to the test. Crucially, he managed to find new creative strength – what he was working on when he unexpectedly died would become one of his greatest books. He managed to overcome his Writer’s Block.
Aristotle once said that he reserved the greatest admiration for those who manage to overcome their demons within. Fitzgerald’s ability to dig himself out of the hole and turn his life around and overcome his Writer’s Block in the process makes him a big inspiration to me. He died at 44, the same age as me.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I’m a TV and film screenwriter, and specialize in History and Crime – which I find are usually the same thing. My biggest achievement is perhaps having written every episode of the groundbreaking TV series for Showtime, Oliver Stone’s The Untold History of The United States. I don’t like to boast about myself or my achievements, but I’m also the writer of fiction, short fiction, and many pilots and feature scripts for film and tv – some have been made, some haven’t. I’ve written a novel, The Night Driver, which is a proud achievement of mine.
What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?
The extraordinary rush of creation. This is hard to describe, but the ability to create something from nothing is a process that transcends almost any other experience I know. I’ve been chasing this rush my whole adult life and before – its why I’ve turned my back on the comforts of a normal life.
In a healthy mental state, you learn to experience the universe around you with a heightened sense of smell and taste – a process described by Hemingway in his wonderful book, “A Moveable Feast.” You can live through these moments when you feel absolutely at one with the universe – I remember watching birds flock over a bridge in London years ago, the sun go down in Wonder Valley out beyond Joshua Tree, the feeling of the market I used to shop at in San Telmo, Buenos Aires at dusk – and the beautiful people you meet along the journey who make your life worth living and teach you all about yourself. Creation – the ability to put a story on paper from nothing, and alongside it, the ability to appreciate the universe around you are their own reward.
Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative?
A friend of mine once said to me of his divorce: “Matt, face it, Our Brand is Chaos.”
The afternoon he told me, I’d just survived a house fire out in the Mojave Desert.
As much as I wrote the piece on Fitzgerald for other writers to enjoy, the truth is that I also wrote it for non writers (“Civilians”) so that they could understand the creative mindset. Being born able to create is both an extraordinary blessing as much as it is a curse – it both improves and destabilizes your life. The depression and anxiety that come with it are not to be underestimated.
Learning to manage this gift becomes the task of your life. The burden of doing so has destroyed a great many writers and artists. Its a tough task to manage and means you’re prone to things others don’t understand; mood swings, depressive and self destructive behavior.
People I love, like Anthony Bourdain or Amy Winehouse demonstrate this struggle. I once heard at a dinner party a couple of wealthy tourists from England saying about the death of Winehouse that: “she did it to herself.” Its easy to judge others when you’ve gone by the manual and are insulated by financial security and always having made the right decision, always having everyone behind you.
The benefits of the creative life though are extraordinary – the hunger and reward of new experience and adventure that keeps you searching, driven through life, alive. Its become trite to write things like this, but the truth is, if you’ve forsaken life’s conventional road, its all you have – and that can be a wonderful thing.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://worldoftopia.com/writers-block-fitzgerald-ten-top-writers/
- Instagram: muzurphulus
- Other: https://worldoftopia.com/writers-block-fitzgerald-ten-top-writers/
Image Credits
Xarene Eskandar