We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Matt Bedell, PsyD Candidate, LPC-S, LCDC, EMDR Trained. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Matt below.
Alright, Matt thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you share an anecdote or story from your schooling/training that you feel illustrates what the overall experience was like?
I’m within 2-4 months of completing my Doctorate in Psychology. I already had an M.S. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and was fully licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor when the itch to learn more wasn’t satisfied with books and trainings anymore. So, I found a school that was the right fit for me. Importantly, it is accredited, does not require me to move or alter my schedule at my practice, allows me to be with family each night, and the internship is optional. I wanted the education and received much more than I was seeking. In my M.S., the counseling process and the importance of building a therapeutic alliance were heavily emphasized, which left me wondering multiple “why” questions. Why do some people suffer longer than others from treatable conditions? Why does stigma continue to play a role in accessing care? I wanted to understand more psychology-related factors and the nuances of human thinking, feeling, and behavior, which I felt were missed in my undergrad and master’s.
I’ll share two anecdotes from my academic journey.
One, we vastly underestimate the impact of stress and sleep on our mental health. Stress, over a long period, or holding onto stress from traumatic events over a long period, can change our DNA (which we can pass down those changes to our children) and brain structure. What is stress? In a nutshell, stress is simply energy in our body. When we feel “stress,” it’s our body preparing for a challenge, and the body doesn’t know if this is a physical or mental challenge. So, the stress response is the same regardless of physical or mental challenges, which leaves the psychological experience the leading player in our response to stress. If we see something as “overwhelming” or you feel “nervous,” the psychological experience is that we don’t have the resources (time, skills, etc.) to solve the challenge. However, when we see something as “exciting,” the psychological experience is eagerness and often connection. Both have energy coursing through our veins and body, yet different psychological experiences. I now teach people to consider which “O” they’re experiencing to a challenge. Is this an “Obstacle” or an “Opportunity”? If we feel we have encountered an obstacle, we are likely feeling a “distressing” experience. If we shift into “what is the opportunity here,” we are more likely to feel eager to tread on. The psychological shift of slowing the moment down, relaxing our body, or exerting energy through exercise or movement, then finding the opportunity, helps people regulate the stress response.
The most crucial element of stress management, though, is sleep. Since stress is an energy demand, recharge is the most effective way to regulate stress. Ever notice how when you see an old item is repaired back to new or an updated style, they call it “RESTored?” Sleep is the process our brains and bodies go through to restore themselves to wellness. Our brains are bathed in fluid from the spine as we sleep, which “washes” itself, and our hormones, neurotransmitters, and muscles are repaired and regulated. It’s so crucial that I’ve seen people work on healthy sleep routines and within a few months their panic attacks subside drastically, they start to find opportunities to engage with healthy problem solving, and they find their primary source of anxiety, was a lack of sleep and mismanagement of stress (everything was an obstacle, that dang spilled milk put me over the edge!).
The second anecdote came from my doctoral research studying social anxiety through an acceptance and commitment therapy lens. What factors (other than the obvious, we’re scared of judgment and rejection) prevent people from getting help with a treatable condition? How can we increase therapy utilization and keep people in therapy until they’ve healed? I think most therapists believe they know how to treat social anxiety. I also think most therapists aren’t aware that when people meet criteria for social anxiety disorder, they’re experiencing a trauma response. Trauma that continues to pop up in our lives (nightmares, hypervigilance, avoidance, suppression, perfectionism, pessimism), is a continual release of stress that reinforces itself over time. Over 80% of people with social anxiety disorder can identify a socially shaming event (bullies, parents, family, friends, coaches); the other 20%, I imagine, are engaging in the most common emotion regulation strategy, suppression. Neglect and emotional adverse events are challenging to recognize, so I work with my clients on reducing their internal judgements of themselves so we can look at tough events and learn to respond to the inner critic in new ways. I’ve learned so much in my process and am very excited to release the things I’ve been working on to create change for this population of people holding a special place in my heart.
Matt, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I found my way into becoming a therapist through serendipity. I entered my undergraduate program on a baseball scholarship at a small university. They didn’t have general advisors, so I was randomly assigned to the psychology chair. After a while, they asked me to declare a major, and since I was in his office and enjoyed his classes, I chose psychology. As I continued to learn how he had influenced others’ lives towards wellness, provided the support and care I wish I had at times in my life, I began to feel compelled to follow that path. As my baseball career ended, I decided the path towards licensure was one I would dedicate myself to with the same intensity and work ethic that helped me advance in athletics.
Initially, I provided services in the community mental health realm of care. I remained a generalist as I transitioned to advocacy center services and then hospital work. I became well-rounded in trauma care and multiple styles of therapy, and would refer to myself as eclectic. However, as I noticed tendencies to be more effective in specific populations, I began to narrow my interests. Another realization of serendipity occurred; I had been working with someone for some time, and their needs required a specialist in another field. During a consultation, the new therapist mentioned they hadn’t met someone so flexible with social anxiety and wondered how I effected change for the client. That moment made me realize I had overlooked my effectiveness because I struggle with social anxiety. I could empathize in ways others couldn’t, and through that empathy and evidence-based care, they made progress that this other clinician hadn’t seen. That was the spark necessary to continue advancing my knowledge and skill set to help a population in a way I wish I had growing up.
For me, I had been to therapy multiple times, attempting to make changes with a chronic, self-reinforcing problem. While I was making progress, it wasn’t getting to the core of my patterns of thinking and feeling. So, self-study it was. During my journey, I began to see how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy made more sense to me. I remember thinking, “Where the heck has this info been my whole life?!” I’m super proud to have built up my psychological flexibility skills to work on academic and career growth. I’ve even focused on building and embracing skills that help me create, edit, and post YouTube videos. Something I didn’t think I would be able to do just a few years ago.
What sets me apart is that while most therapists believe they can help people with social anxiety, and they likely can since I’ve been helped, I know the profound experiences, the emotional turmoil, and chronic self-doubt intimately. I know how insidious that inner critic can be. I also see the path to recovery through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to turn the inner critic from a dimmer to an illuminator. It only wants to prevent potential pain after all. So, I’ve devoted my doctoral research to understanding how ACT influences change for people with social anxiety, not only surface-level, but lasting, profound changes to feel connected, confident, and inspired to grow into the people they know they can be inside.
If you struggle with social anxiety, whether it’s momentary or feels like it’s always been there, I invite you to join me on YouTube, social media, or bravely reach out for a consultation call. Shortly after I finish my studies, I plan to create the things I wish existed (a picture on my wall that motivates me to keep growing). In the coming months, I’ll be releasing books and courses to help people who are going to therapy, which may be incredibly intimidating or overwhelming, yet what we know in research is that people with social anxiety have one overall common trend… they want help! Stay tuned! Help is on the way in multiple formats for people who learn in different ways.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
This one’s pokey for most people; the lesson I have learned is that nothing is personal. I’ll even go so far as to say that it’s a choice to take things personally. Now, the initial response of pain when met with criticism is going to pull us down the rabbit trail of personalizing. Yet, if we really think through what it means to take something personally, we are letting a comment from someone reflect on ourselves rather than the context of that moment. Said another way, we are believing that we are defective when someone makes a comment about a choice we made without awareness of our intent or goals of that choice.
For example, let’s say someone makes a comment on my YouTube channel that’s critical in nature. How could this comment be a personal attack? They don’t know me, my intent, my history, my strengths, or my weaknesses. Additionally, how would this comment change how I relate to things that are personal… will this comment change how I am a father, husband, brother, or business partner?
Psychological flexibility helps us take a perspective on ourselves to see the context of our actions. Any feedback on our actions is a reflection of the context since, if we’re really being honest, we don’t truly know ourselves, let alone other people knowing us personally.
Keep growing, keep trying, and keep getting better.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
I’ll answer this question in two parts. The first part is that people progress more with the growth mindset and self-compassion than with the fixed mindset and self-criticism.
The growth mindset reinforces effort over time in the pursuit of mastery, yet mastery can always improve. There’s a purpose to the fixed mindset, though, when we accomplish a goal or task that’s meaningful, fixed mindset away (you did this, friend! You’re done! Great work!) Then, we shift back into the growth mindset, where my effort and energy will be directed toward now.
Self-compassion is acknowledging when we are struggling. Being a therapist is taxing. You frequently have the privilege of being pulled along a journey of pain, fear, and despair. You’ll also experience the privilege of being pulled along while people exhibit bravery, courage, tenacity, and develop resilience. However, as that experience grows, your time comes to an end. It’s only natural to absorb what people share with you, and it’s also essential to know how to take care of yourself along the way, which begins with self-compassion. It’s like expecting yourself to be driving on the highway with vague directions, yet if you don’t check in occasionally with whether you’re headed the right way, you may inadvertently end up in the wrong destination. Self-compassion is the moment you acknowledge you may be on the wrong road, AND THAT ‘S. OKAY. The next critical question to ask is, what will my response be to this awareness? How can I recharge myself to be effective and helpful to the next person? As you put effort into learning to self-regulate and self-care, you’ll get better, getting better first starts with acknowledging that we are sometimes struggling.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.begincounselingtoday.com
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