We were lucky to catch up with Marygold Martinez recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Marygold, thanks for joining us today. What was the most important lesson/experience you had in a job that has helped you in your creative career?

I actually had multiple prior jobs that taught me the same important lesson. It took me until now to actually really absorb it. That instead of hiding away and just supporting other people’s goals and dreams; I should step out and take my spotlight. I’ve been trying to fit into shoes that don’t fit me and play smaller because I personally didn’t want to be seen. But then realizing I’m not that small of a person and the reality was, I did. I wanted people to see who I am and that what I believed in is important. And as much as I don’t want to take responsibility for being a leader or “in charge,” I do need to step up. But they also can’t see me if I don’t know who I actually am and hide behind identities that I think I am or who people want from me.

The problem also with mainly supporting from the sidelines and observing is it’s easier for others to take you for granted. Or they don’t believe that you feel too strongly about things. You yourself may forget it. I know personally when I do start speaking up, I can be a bit intense and direct. I also tend to ask a lot of questions so I can understand which can be overwhelming and people of power can feel that they don’t need to address. And since they are in power, they can choose not to speak to you in a way that you understand and sometimes even silence you because it’s easier. Maybe even stating that, “It’s not your place” to speak up and ask those hard questions. Which hierarchically is understandable. but something that goes against my personality.

I personally like equality and I expect to be respected as an equal who is there to help you make your ideas come to life. Yes, I do take accordance who actually is in charge and have final decisions made by them, but I do want to be able to safely state my opinions. Something that I do keep in mind when someone is working under me because it’s difficult to perform big projects alone. Without your people helping you, you’d have to take on the workload alone and it can be a lot. It is problematic when you don’t have actual ranking or power because it can be received badly. I am aware that my energy comes off strong and it can feel very pushy, but I can also be told “no” without being oppressed and/or treated disrespectfully.

It’s extremely disappointing as well when you are in a creative career because you have different expectations. You would think an environment that speaks about expressing yourself and how we could do better as a community would follow what they stand for internally.

And it’s not necessarily that they mean to hurt you, but ultimately it’s still a business and we live in a society where we just have to get to the end product no matter what it takes. There are so many pieces to think about and sometimes it can be overwhelming to the point that the path of least resistance is the path they choose to take.

The thing about artists whether they are performers, tech, admin, etc is that we all want to make something happen. Very rarely do I find artists or artist adjacents who don’t want to be something. Who don’t want to make their mark and do something special. The problem with that is sometimes we can get so caught up in “making it” that we lose sight of what’s around us. And then how sensitive and vulnerable we can all be in a business that ebbs and flows, that not just focusing on yourself is too much. I know that I need to isolate myself sometimes because I need to recover. But also knowing that everything is a collaboration and if we want to make a difference in other people’s lives, we need to deal with people. That can be seen in different ways, though and we have to find a way that resonates more to sustain ourselves.

So if I want a world with my own values and belief system, I have to make my own world and do the work that will make that happen.

That ultimately helps me be more confident and pinpoint what I should be focusing on and what matters to me so I know how to brand myself and market myself better. Something that I’ve been thinking about and working on throughout the years.

Marygold, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am Filipino and was born in Bais City, Negros Oriental.

I later arrived to California when I was 3 years old. First living with some of my relatives before living in an apartment with only my parents. My mother, sister, and I then lived in the Philippines for a year while my mom gave birth to my brother. Before we settled down, I have been to I believe 6 different Elementary schools, both public and private. I then continued unto Middle School, High School, Certified Nursing Assistant School, and Community College.

Because we moved around a lot, I didn’t get to develop really close bonds with my peers. However, there were times when I found out that my presence although not long term did make a difference. I discovered that I was the “glue” that brought the boys and the girls together in one school and I was thanked by some teachers for bringing the “regulars” class and the “honors” class together in another. It just makes me happy when everyone plays together and it’s so fun for me to have people I know get along with other people I know. Although I can be reserved at times, I think moving around a lot did teach me how to be open to a lot of new and different situations and people more than if I’ve always been with the same group all the time. It may have also been the reason why I would constantly moved around from group to group in High School and I would be so curious about a plethora of topics.

Boundaries isn’t my strong suit and can bring about a negative result. But in a more positive light and a slightly different meaning, I do love when people come together and collaborate more than separating each other because they fit a certain label more than the another. There is respect to be found and having a focus on one specific craft can evolve you in that sector much faster than someone who does things generally. However, I don’t feel that we need to segregate ourselves just because we identify ourselves more as an actor, for example, than a dancer. We can learn so much from each other and no matter what craft, there is so much hard work, resources, professionalism, and dedication that goes into it.

In my previous interview with Canvas Rebel published last January 4, 2024 I have a more in depth storyline of how I got into acting. Succinctly, I wanted to affect people and allow people to feel it’s okay to express themselves. Currently, there’s been a shift within myself. As I was so focused on others, I lost touch of myself and at this moment in time, I want to show the world more of who I am. If I really want people to feel safe expressing themselves, I should also be able to do the same.

I know that I don’t know everything and it excites me when I’ve learned something new that interests me. It amazes me when people are great at what they do. If I don’t know something then I can just learn it. Some will take more work than others but I like to rise to the challenge. I took part in NACHMO and LAUnbound for the first time this year. I didn’t expect to be a part of it since I’m not professionally trained as a dancer and there were auditions. When I did, I had to catch up to all the others by spending more time getting the dances down. I even got headaches and was dizzy because one of the dances had a lot of turns. I thought I would have to drop, but eventually my body adapted and we performed! The experience made me much more confident in dance and obtaining more training.

*Special thank you to Jessica Rosen Bishop, Paul Sivertsen, and Pam Mueller for believing I can do it and allowing me to dance in their pieces!

I am also currently working with others film-wise such as Capped’ In and Team Terrence Productions to produce our own original works and have more reel footage for ourselves.

We’ve just finished The Nonsemble: 2 min or Less Clown Flicks and my short won “Worst Stunts.” That sounds bad, but I was told it was more of an honorary title and that our short actually had the most stunts and was really funny to them. I will be making a full version to release as well.

I was going to produce something small where it would be like TikTok and just have people jump in and out, but then it slowly evolved. As I started going through the location and planning, more ideas popped into my head and I started running scenes and shots. I also had a big cast and I wanted everyone to have a line so I developed the script to make sure everyone had fun and was involved. But it was also a lot of movement outdoors so I also had to guarantee everyone was safe and taken care of. As much as I didn’t want to think too much so I don’t overwhelm myself, I do want to do everything properly. Without a lot of knowledge it was stressful, but it makes going forward much easier. There were some skills that I dabbled in years back and I’m currently able to implement them better.

The whole event helped me grow significantly and even helped me pinpoint more of my brand: I like freedom, fun, and play. I can be a bit chaotic, but I’m also nurturing and serious.

I am very proud of the shorts we’ve all created. We worked together and stepped up. Some of our ideas were in the back burner for a long time, but they finally came to light. All of them were shot in a day, everyone was juggling responsibilities and had to learn a lot of new skills, but we made them happen!

Thank you to Curt Gavin, David S Robinson Hicks, Terrence Gene Taylor, Bryan Ha, Terri Battee, Hazel Melizza, Kristen Lilley, and Jessica Resnick for showing up and being very professional. They even helped and supported not only me, but also each other. Since we had less than 4 hours to shoot everything, we really had to pick up the pace and had a lot of one takes. They all made it very easy and they just shifted when I had to change things on the fly without question.

At the same time Stefan Haves, a Cirque de Soleil Clown Director, was back in town. Given that I haven’t worked with him in years and I love how we would teach about the sincerity and reality of clowning, I knew this was the right time to take one of his workshops. He reminded me of really connecting and really showcasing what’s authentic to myself because that’s what resonates with the audience the most. In addition to that, though it doesn’t feel like it at times, he reminded me that even just showing up is a big deal. I have never seen clowning as something deep until he taught it to me. Clowns just seemed like the “butt of a joke” or something scary because of movies, but it’s much more than that.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

A few come to mind, but a more recent one would be when I fell into depression because of an event that aggravated a past trauma. It was a culmination of little events that upset me and personal disappointments that arose.

I couldn’t function properly for maybe a bit more than a week. I was also “on edge” the week before the event as well. My brain was foggy, I sobbed about every day, if not everyday. Some longer than others. But I had a Dance Show coming up and I didn’t want to miss the final run throughs and rehearsals, and of course dress rehearsal and show date. I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere, but I had to be there for my group. All while acting like I was fine and that the event didn’t bother me as much as it did. I forgot an important prop for dress rehearsals because I was ruminating, having flashbacks, and inputting questions on my phone to process everything better. I would just sit there, sleep, eat or do that for hours.

I never wanted to see my Therapist as much as I did then. Thinking about it, I could’ve scheduled more appointments than my usual once a month but I was busy. I also didn’t properly use the tools he’s given me so I had to discipline myself to do them.

It didn’t take me until the final rehearsal to really set in my mind that I had to step it up. There were some moves I still had to clean and I wasn’t hitting it on the exact count. It bugs me now that I could’ve been even better if I was functioning properly. But I was still able to take the time to rehearse in the gym by myself and make sure I got all the counts down. This was maybe 1 or 2 days before show time.

Since it was my first time performing with LAUnbound too, I had to figure out how to handle doing essentially 3 dance shows in a day.

The matinee was a fiasco! One of my soles came off a dance before my group went up. I gorilla glued it in time but then another sole came off during the performance. Paul was so kind as to glue one of my soles back on while I was preparing for my next dance. In my second dance, I couldn’t get my fan into my holster for a majority of it so I had to hold it in my hand while performing. However, I kept going and adapted. Luckily my friends didn’t really notice nor minded the mishaps.

My grandma and mom also went to the Philippines during the same week as Show Day so I had to maintain all the Head of Household duties while doing final clean ups. I also got sick the first few days due to stress. But my pets of course needed to be fed, I had to make sure there was food in the house and since I was in charge of it, I wanted to go all out. I learned a few new recipes and was teaching my brother how to cook as well. Because my grandma and mom were also out of my way, I wanted to deep clean the house. It only ended up being primarily the kitchen and living room, but years worth of grime were cleaned. Mind you that I only had a week.

All of this happened in a month or less.

In your view, what can society to do to best support artists, creatives and a thriving creative ecosystem?

I feel that society would benefit the most, artist or not, if everyone has the opportunity to be safe no matter where they go. People wouldn’t have to live in survival mode and be working so hard that they eventually numb themselves.

This would trickle down to more artists and creatives because people actually have the time to breathe and think about what lights them up.

And I know there is some stigma about more people moving away from other jobs to become a Creative. But some people don’t even want to be a Creative. Maybe Math or Science lights them up. Maybe they want to go to space. Maybe they want to teach. Maybe they just want a simple life in Inventory so they don’t have to stress too much and be able to come home at the same time every day without having to worry about work.

But allowing people to have that capacity to breathe and think also grants them the ability to be more creative subconsciously. It can even just be little things like picking a color scheme for the room you’re working in, decorating in a way that boosts your mood, wanting a certain logo on your mug, etc.

Mental Health is extremely important no matter what environment. It essentially leads to more productivity and confidence.

Coming from a lower income background, growing up I would always think about what’s cheaper and more practical and efficient compared to the appearance. As a “workaholic” who likes to sleep, I sometimes don’t have time to think about food aesthetics or what makes a proper healthy meal. I just have to eat something quickly. It wasn’t until I started earning my own money and feeling a bit safer that I realized I can have something a bit more expensive. I can have something that’s prettier and makes me happy than just what’s practical and efficient. I can figure out how to make eating more delightful and sustaining. I don’t need to constantly think about the next job because right now I’m fine. Working does take a lot of energy and time so often we don’t want to do anything afterwards. When they’re also jobs we just need to make ends meet or if it drains us, sometimes we lose a bit of our drive.

In order to have a thriving creative ecosystem, we also need to find a way to bring more value to the arts than stifle it so there’ll be more opportunities.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.marygoldmartinez.com
• Instagram: @marygoldmartinez and @marygoldmperforms
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marygold-martinez-955bb3122/
• Other: IMDBPro: https://pro.imdb.com/name/nm9011876?ref_=hm_nv_usr_profile

Image Credits

Maya Adrabi, Powell Browne, Jessica Bishop, Terrence Gene Taylor, Stefan Haves, Erik Soto