We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Mary Kay Cocharo a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Mary Kay thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

Couples come into my practice every day with complex stories about their relationships. They speak of love and connection, disconnection and pain, and a deep longing for a stronger bond and a happier life. I listen closely and help them make sense of what’s working, what’s not, and what might need to change.

The first advice I offer is patience. I encourage them to find the courage to pause any decision-making about whether to stay or go. That choice will still be available down the line—but for now, the work requires a commitment. Healing can only begin when both people agree to be present for the process.

Recently, I had the privilege of working with a bi-coastal couple whose relationship was on the brink of ending. She came in convinced it was over—exhausted, disappointed, and afraid of a lonely future. He was still committed, eager to change, and desperate for the relationship to survive.

It was only by setting aside the question of “Should we stay or go?” that they could begin the careful work of exploring what was still possible between them. Together, we worked through a Constructive Closure ritual, where they fully said goodbye to their old relationship and began to imagine how they might build something new—what we called Relationship 2.0.

I explained that they needed to let go of the version of the relationship that no longer served them in order to find the creativity to build a different, healthier one. Just a few sessions later, they had released much of their anger, fear, and resentment, and were beginning to work more collaboratively—with eyes on the future.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’ve worked as a Relationship Therapist for the past 35 years in Los Angeles, California. I began my career as a Family Therapist, seeing couples alongside their children. Over time, my focus shifted to working exclusively with couples. That transition inspired me to pursue advanced certification in both Imago Relationship Therapy and Encounter-centered Couples Therapy.

Both of these approaches are dedicated to helping couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, resolve conflict, and build the kind of relationship they truly want and deserve.

I offer therapy in a variety of formats. While I welcome couples for weekly 90-minute sessions, I also facilitate One- and Two-Day Private Intensives and Weekend Couples Retreats—services not commonly offered by many of my colleagues. These experiences allow couples to fully immerse themselves in the therapeutic process, free from daily distractions, in a peaceful and supportive setting.

I also offer premarital counseling packages and one-day workshops to help couples prepare for marriage. This proactive approach has been shown to reduce the risk of divorce by 30% and is designed to set couples up for long-term success by addressing potential challenges before they arise.

Beyond my work with couples, I’m deeply committed to mentoring the next generation of therapists. I guide young professionals, students, and interns, offering support and insight from my decades of experience. I’ve developed a 12-hour training course for therapists and coaches who want to learn Encounter-centered Couples Therapy and apply it effectively in their own practices.

My latest passion project is a card deck for couples titled Connect – Communicate – Create. Available as both a physical deck and a mobile version on Deckible.com, the deck includes 52 cards divided into three suits:

1) Connect cards invite couples to deepen their bond through affectionate and sensual touch.

2) Communicate cards offer guidance for richer, more meaningful conversations.

3) Create cards encourage shared activities to spark fun, connection, and transformation.

Finally, unlike many online platforms or self-guided programs that can feel impersonal or generic, I offer individualized support tailored to each couple’s unique story. This personalized attention ensures that every client receives the focused help they need to navigate their challenges and strengthen their relationship.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

This is a recent story from my life that illustrates the need for resilience—and the power of connection.

This past year, just a few days before Thanksgiving, I embarked on an unexpected journey. A routine mammogram led to a biopsy, which led to a breast cancer diagnosis.

My first response? I told the oncologist, “I simply don’t have time for cancer!” I was traveling, preparing for the holidays, seeing clients, and putting the finishing touches on my long-awaited card deck for couples. I even joked, “I’ll check back in January.” She laughed.

We’re told that disbelief is the first stage of grief. I spent one day in denial. Then, I cried. But the next morning, I made a gratitude list. At the top were these three facts:

1) My cancer was caught early—early detection is key.

2) I live in Los Angeles, home to excellent doctors and world-class medical care.

3) I am surrounded by a loving, supportive family, dear friends, and devoted colleagues.

Soon, I was interviewing surgeons and hospitals, choosing a procedure, and making decisions I never expected to face. My daughter Claire flew in from France and accompanied me to every single appointment. Those days were terrifying and confusing, but she helped me stay clear-headed and sane. Her presence was invaluable.

Through it all, I kept coming back to two things I know to be true as a therapist:

Healing happens in connection. I would need to gather love and support like never before.

Language matters. The words we choose shape our experience.

One of the most helpful insights came from my mentor, Hedy Schleifer. She taught me that I didn’t have to call myself a “cancer patient” or even a “cancer survivor.” Instead, I could frame it as a cellular challenge. I was simply a woman navigating a cellular challenge—one I would walk through until it was no longer mine to carry.

I won’t sugarcoat it—these past months have been difficult. My other daughter, Vanessa, came to care for me. She was a loving nurse, a steady presence, and an incredible support to me, my husband, and even our dog. Her kindness, competence, and compassion were a profound gift.

Meanwhile, my friends formed prayer chains, hosted a healing circle, and sent flowers, gifts, food, blankets, books, and cookies! My colleagues stepped in to support my practice, and my clients showed extraordinary patience and grace.

And now, I have one more thing to add to my gratitude list: I am healthy. I’m ready to re-engage with my work, my passions, and the world.

So many of us have either faced a cellular challenge or loved someone who has. I now know more than I ever imagined, and I would be honored to offer support in any way I can.

Never forget: we are at our best when we connect. We are in this life together.

Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?

There are many important facets to building a strong client base over the years. Of course, I’m well-educated and continuously seek out new ideas, modalities, and training to stay current. I have extensive experience and maintain strong relationships with referring colleagues and other professionals. I have a social media presence and a robust website, and I say “yes” when asked to appear in the media—whether it’s an article, podcast, or radio show. I also teach, mentor, and build supportive relationships with other therapists.

But ultimately, I believe the most effective strategy is simple: deliver excellent service. Because I’ve remained focused on refining my skills and giving clients my best, I’ve had the privilege of working with many repeat clients—and of receiving countless referrals from people who were helped and want the same for their loved ones.

When you’re good at what you do, people notice. A strong reputation naturally follows, and with it comes a steady stream of people seeking thoughtful, effective support.

Over time, word-of-mouth has become the most powerful marketing tool of all.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.mkcocharo.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marykaycocharo/
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/MaryKayMFT
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-kay-cocharo-7952144/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/mkcocharo/about
• Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/mary-kay-cocharo-lmft-los-angeles
• Other: Pinterest:
  https://www.pinterest.com/mkcocharoLMFT/