We recently connected with Marquese and Tashaundra Hayden and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Marquese and Tashaundra Hayden, thanks for joining us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

We’ve had the pleasure of mentoring and providing marriage counseling to many couples over the past 15 years. As we sit down with these couples whether they’re dating, engaged, or married, we stress the topic of communication. We feel that effective communication is the glue to hold a relationship together. A few years back we had the pleasure of mentoring a couple who happened to be a blended family. The couple had only been married a short time when problems arose. After meeting with the couple and receiving both sides of the breakdown we not only explained to them how they needed to work on their communication but we also gave them tools to help them move forward. A lot of times people tend to forget that there are different communication styles. So this couple was communicating, each in their own ways, and expecting the other to not only understand but accept it. We were able to explain that neither was wrong, however, they needed to collectively come up with a way to communicate that would benefit their household. The couple was able to accommodate each other’s communication style and we’re glad to report that this couple continues to prosper in their marriage.

Marquese and Tashaundra Hayden, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

We are a couple who got married fairly young. Happy and healthy marriages were something that we did not experience so we realized we had to do things differently. Moving away (Military) from our hometown saved us. Getting married young allowed us to grow up together. Every hurdle that we had to jump whether it was childbirth, parenthood, illness, careers, family, military commitment, and all that it entailed and so much more, we got through it together. In today’s world where social media has convinced so many that healthy relationships are a thing of the past, we want our brand to speak differently. Relationships and marriages don’t have to be temporary or commercialized. Yes, it’s work but it’s work worth doing. We’re almost year 21 of our marriage and have seen different versions of each other, that’s the beauty in it. We’re not the same people that dated, that married, or that we were 5 years ago, and that’s a good thing. We love talking to, mentoring, and counseling other couples. It’s something we both are passionate about, Love is such a beautiful thing and if we can play a part in helping love grow we’re here for it.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

In marriage, we had to unlearn a traditional mindset that had us boxed in. One of the things we never subjected ourselves to was gender roles. There was never “No you do this because you’re a man” or “That because you’re a woman.” We’re both abled-bodied human beings who are capable of doing things for each other and our family. That doesn’t mean we don’t subscribe to chivalry because we do. We demonstrate to our children how they should be treated and how they should treat their significant others.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

We were married for nearly 10 years when we experienced our first unaccompanied assignment. This assignment was 12 months and this was the first time that we experienced a significant time apart. All 3 of our kids were under the age of 10. We moved from the West Coast to the East Coast and the family settled at our new location. This would be the first time that they would have to start all over without strong local support as they were new to the area. They had to learn to navigate a new city, and new schools, and settle in a new house. It was difficult initially but they soon learned more about the military, available resources, and networking. Returning from the remote assignment, I found my family to be more knowledgeable about our surroundings and connected to our new base as if they had been there for years. That was the first of many times away but each time it made our unit stronger.

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