We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Marni Goldberg . We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Marni below.

Marni, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s go back in time to when you were an intern or apprentice – what’s an interesting story you can share from that stage of your career?

 

During my last year of graduate school of my Counseling program, I was an intern at a small community agency in New Jersey. There were a few licensed therapists working there, but it was mostly staffed by interns from various local Masters level programs in Mental Health (Counseling, Social Work, and Psychology). One of my first clients at this internship was a teen boy who shared with me that he was planning to end his own life. I felt panicked during the session at the thought of someone’s life being in my hands, and felt incredibly sad for him that he was considering this for himself. I was able to remain calm and keep my composure (at least on the outside), but I knew that I needed assistance in knowing how to best navigate this difficult and new challenge. If I’m remembering correctly, my supervisor wasn’t in the office at that time, so I tracked down some trusted fellow interns. I quickly let them know what was happening and they walked me through how to develop a safety plan with him, and what specific questions to ask in order to make sure I was fully aware of how much risk there was. I went back to him and went through these steps, but what I remember most, 20 years after this incident, is that I let him know that I was genuinely sad and thought he was a great person, and was hoping he wouldn’t harm himself or end his life. I tried to instill as much hope in him as I could, letting him know that I really cared.

Shortly after that, I believe I referred him to someone else who was able to address some other needs that he had, but I was extremely touched, and validated, to hear that he felt I saved his life by providing the support to him that day and allowing him to feel cared for. I learned so many things from this experience…leaning on my colleagues for assistance with challenging situations is extremely necessary and helpful. Trusting my own intuition about how to “show up” for a client can be life-changing or even life-saving. Allowing myself to express genuine care and concern, rather than just “going by the book”, is a huge strength of mine. And ultimately, it taught me that I’m in the right field and feel honored to be able to support clients in their struggles and life journeys.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I’ve considered myself very fortunate to have always known what I wanted to do with my life professionally, and to have been able to stay the course all these years. I dipped my toe into the field of Counseling when I was in high school by enrolling in a Peer Counseling class. Although I didn’t feel fully prepared to provide what my classmates needed at the time, I knew that I was loving the feeling of being able to help people by providing support through difficult situations. Studying Psychology in college, and minoring in Social Work, provided me with a good foundation for better understanding humans, mental illnesses, and systemic challenges. My undergraduate degree really only served as a stepping stone though, as I knew I wanted to provide direct Counseling services to people, and was aware that I needed a Graduate degree to be able to do that. I allowed myself a year off from school while I decided what type of graduate degree I wanted to obtain, and where I wanted to enroll for my Masters Degree.

If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?

Not many things have been clear and easy in life, but I feel fortunate that my career is not one of those things…as I mentioned before, I always knew that I wanted to be a therapist and I wouldn’t change that decision for anything. It’s been such an honor to be able to be a supportive person for so many humans throughout the 20 years that I’ve been in this profession, and to watch people learn more about themselves, grow, and care for themselves in healthy and loving ways. Sometimes I do wish that I was able to help those at the beginning of my career in the ways that I’m able to help clients now with my increased experience, more attunement to my own intuition, and confidence in myself as a therapist. Overall, though, I believe that I’ve been able to help provide a safe and compassionate space for my clients to overcome challenges and heal, regardless of how much clinical experience I had under my belt. Discovering the trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (found in those who are considered Highly Sensitive People) had been the biggest gift in my career, as I now get to help clients who feel different and misunderstood by bringing them a sense of validation and self-understanding. It’s been a wonderful journey to experience these things for myself alongside my clients-learning to be more self-compassionate, reducing their anxiety and overwhelm, and gaining a better understanding of who they are and what they need as individuals to feel good and thrive. I would definitely not change my clinical focus,; I only wish I had had this type of support myself growing up.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

During my education, including studying Psychology and Social Work at the undergraduate level, and Counseling at the Masters Level, I feel there were certain messages and lessons that were portrayed that ended up not resonating with me. One thing that comes to mind is that the Psychology field (at least back then!) tended to focus on the medical model and what’s “wrong” with people. We learned about disorders and that we would need to basically “fix” people who were essentially “broken”. My Masters program was more inclusive of the whole person and working together as a team with your client to achieve healing. It took experience and getting to know myself better, however, to realize that I don’t resonate with the model of diagnosing clients immediately in order to develop a generic plan for treating their diagnosis. Rather, I learned that I prefer to assess fully and get to know each client for who they are as an individual, taking into account their personal experiences, family system, symptoms, religious and ethnic background, etc, in order to fully understand the human in front of me. In addition, I’ve determined that my intuitive hunches and professional experience help me in assisting my clients much more than putting them in a “box” so to speak. I’ve also learned over time that most symptoms-such as anxiety, panic attacks, depression-that people experience, is due to their body telling them something. They’re either suffering due to past experiences (like trauma) that their body is still holding onto, or something is not right in their life currently and their body is communicating that to them. It has felt much more productive and rewarding to help people better understand themselves than to just walk away with a diagnosis to Google and worry about. Sometimes diagnoses are quite helpful and important in better understanding what someone is experiencing, and they can end up being validating for people. I just feel that it shouldn’t be the first thing to occur when meeting someone who is asking for help and wants to improve their life. I’m glad I was able to develop new ways of conceptualizing humans and their challenges, and I’m very grateful that I’m able to provide this type of service by working for myself in private practice and being private pay (meaning I don’t have to answer to insurance companies by diagnosing immediately and getting their permission to bill for services). I much prefer working from a strengths-based wellness model than a “sick” persons, medical model!

Contact Info:

• Website: www.mindfulmatterscounseling.com
• Instagram: mindfulmatterscounseling
• Facebook: @Mindfulmatterscounseling
• Twitter: @MarniMFT
• Youtube: Mindful Matters Counseling, Marni Goldberg, LMFT, LPCC

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