We recently connected with Mariela Narvaez and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Mariela thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
My story is long, but far from over. One which I continue to write with each passing day, until I take my last breath. Like all stories, we must go to the very beginning, the genesis of my life. I was born on the border between one of the most crossed and infamous US/Mexico borders- El Paso, Texas and Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico, where I grew up between two cultures, two worlds and somehow, I am a product of both. I am a desert girl at heart, although it is very hot and arid, the sunsets there are sublime! There’s a sort of mysticism and magic found there, that can only be understood if you’ve experienced it. My parents had homes in both neighboring cities and the constant crossing was a normal occurrence. I attended private, catholic schools in both Mexico and the US and was raised by an attorney/businessman and a homemaker (who I must add) was much more than that! She later went back to school and got an Early Childhood degree and became a successful Realtor. My mom also helped my father constantly in his law practice/businesses. I know my father’s success was due to my mother’s constant hard work and support during the 45 years they were married. My mom raised 5 kids (Claudia, Lili, Oscar, Mariana, and myself) with such love, patience, devotion, and much discipline it required- as we all gave her many headaches during our youth and teenage years. I am a twin and have a best friend/confidant all into one. I am lucky to have such a bond with Mariana.
While on the surface, my story seems pretty good to any outsider. I was raised in high society Mexico given all the luxuries and financially stable home(s). However, our story- I always joke around- could be a lifetime movie, telenovela, or better yet a Netflix series that would make the topmost watched! All jokes aside, our family- the Narvaez Soto clan- endured a lot of pain and darkness. While I do not have room to detail all these events (I am saving that for the autobiography), it was quite eventful that included violence, sexual harassment/assault, kidnapping, traumatic deaths (including one at the hands of a Juarez cartel), suicide (losing my nephew Alan, who left a void in our family that could never be filled, and will forever live in our hearts), and breaking generational patterns of patriarchy that were so embedded in our family upbringing.
Not all was bad, as there is no darkness without light, which resonates with Pythagoras’s quote “If there be light, then there is darkness…” I experienced both sides of the coin of this dual universe. I had many happy years and beautiful memories growing up in such prestigious circumstances, which include and being Queen of the Campestre Country Club, getting to travel the world with my family, being a part of Rotary International, which organization was the backbone of our family, in which collaboration met and became friends with the now King of Spain. We spent almost every weekend visiting, feeding, and working the “colonias”, building houses, schools, teaching English to low SES families. The fact that we were blessed financially was a constant reminder that we needed to give back. I realized while serving my community that I was so lucky to have been born in such circumstances, as I witnessed the worst poverty you could ever imagine. It wasn’t fair! Mexico has 2 social classes. There is a very slim to non-existent middle class, and there is only extreme wealth or extreme poverty. I wished with all my heart I could change this and why we served to make a difference. That experience has shaped me in more ways than one, it forever humbled me. I never take anything for granted!
I was an odd child, I loved learning, reading, and gazing at the stars. The universe was an enigma to me. I realized that I had a spiritual gift- I was an empath and could read/feel people’s energy. I could walk in a room and feel what another person was feeling. This gift came at a price, I had the ability to connect to people’s hearts and souls and yet their suffering became mine. I see the best in others and felt I had to help fix broken/hurting people. I know now it is not my job, but I will always be love, and light and guide them to their own healing. This is why the adage of “we are one” truly applied to my daily experience, as it still does to this day. If humans realized that we are truly all connected, there would be less division, less racism, less violence, less hate, less war. As we are all interconnected like the stars in the firmament, there is no separateness.
Knowledge and education have been very important to me. Although I am very creative in nature-dancer, actor, writer/published author; I also have a master’s in science in Speech Language Pathology. I also loved to learn and read anything I could get my hands on Especially archeology/historical fiction, then later anything that was more philosophical/mystical. I read everything on religions, spirituality, astronomy, astrology, psychology, metaphysics, quantum physics, energy, etc. I questioned everything! While I have learned a lot, I am a student of life, and will forever seek to find the secrets of the universe. I will never stop learning and because of this I have realized there are no absolute truths. Our beliefs are shaped not only by our knowledge but our own experiences. They are all perspectives at the level in which we are interacting with our reality. I see things from a higher perspective now, and why I no longer allow limited belief systems to control the way I experience my life, and why I allow and respect others to live theirs. We are doomed if we believe we know it all, for that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know why Socrates stated: “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
At 23 I married my now ex-husband and while we had good moments, our marriage was a roller coaster. While I will not delve into the difficult 17 years, I did gain the most beautiful gifts- my three children: Seth (20), Sienna (18) and Syler (12). I learned a lot from this relationship, and although I wouldn’t change it, because everything does happen for a reason, I learned so much about myself and who I let in my life. We were very different people to begin with, who saw the world through different lenses. We differed in energy, vibration, frequency- not a match in any way. I learned that conditional love was not something I was willing to live with. For me, being seen and understood by another soul requires complete surrender and acceptance of who we are, thus having the ability to give/receive unconditional love. We did not have this. I couldn’t be with someone with personal agendas, narcissistic, controlling, manipulating, and co-dependent tendencies. We grew apart early on, and while we tried to make it work for our kids, the constant clashing and fighting created a very toxic environment for our kids and realized this was not going to work. People’s core cannot change. I could not force my ex, or anyone for that matter, to be different, or be anything else than what they truly are within. I left with peace in my heart despite the emotional abuse, having experienced a suicide attempt during our darkest times. After this moment, I realized I had to love myself first. No one can give you that. It all starts with self-love. From that moment on, with therapy and the unconditional love/support of my family I became an empress, a divine feminine shaped by fire- a phoenix who rose from the ashes. I became whole. I learned that no matter who, or what came into my life, I needed to give myself everything I needed first. You must be happy with who you are. Look at yourself in the mirror with pride and love for all the experiences that have shaped you (both dark and light). To allow the inner transformation to take hold and never give your power away to anyone.
This is my biggest lesson to date. You come first. To be the best Woman, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Friend, Partner, Lover, Queen, Therapist, Clinician, Educator, Author, Actor, Activist, Leader & Human I could ever become. Because that is how you become the best version of yourself for others to experience and thus pave the way for others to do the same. That is the ultimate lesson of self-love. We lead by example, and this is the legacy I leave to my children and to anyone who experiences me. I still lead with my heart fully and give unconditional love daily to all who encounter me, but I always fill my own cup first.
I have had a lot of schooling- I could have a PhD by now! I attended the Instituto Tecnologico y de Estudios Superiores de Monterrey and later transferred to the University of Texas at El Paso. I worked hard to attain my B.A. in Creative Writing/Business Administration, and M.S. in Speech Language Pathology with a Bilingual certification while having/raising my three amazing kids. Some days were harder than others, on some occasions I wanted to quit. But if you don’t know me by now, failure is not a part of my vocabulary. I will do everything I can in my power to succeed. Even if I had to work harder, longer, while balancing being a mother, a career (three jobs!), & wife at the time. Women have a sort of resourcefulness I have seen in the women in my life. We’ve had to endure and overcome a lot to break generational patterns that had very deep roots.
Being a female in a high society Mexican culture requires you to live by norms/rules and religion. Firstly, we live in a patriarchy society where women have no voice. I got pinched by my grandmother more times than I care to share for trying to speak my mind. Secondly, we were second to men. We serve and sacrifice for the men in our family. Thirdly, our success is seen with who we marry rather than for our educational/career pursuits and personal success. My own mother was that beacon, for she showed us we must forge our own path and be who we were meant to become. Obtaining a college education was a priority. We needed to be able to financially support ourselves and our children if the need arises. All my sisters have very successful degrees/careers. My mother and older sisters were single moms at some point in their lives, as I became after my own divorce. Their experiences shaped me, and I know I will always be okay and provide for my children.
Speaking out has been one of the biggest challenges I had to heal, because we were raised in silence. Once I found my voice and fought against those who tried to silence me (breaking societal/religious rules). I never allowed myself to be silenced again. No one would take my voice. I would even speak and defend those who felt couldn’t use their own voice, as I once did. It started by sharing my voice in writing. Becoming a published author was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life and my dream coming true. My first book “The Initiation”- Starseed series was published in 2014, with two more installments coming! Another accomplishment was becoming Ms. Illinois International 2022, Ms. Illinois USA, and currently Ms. USA Universe Global 2023 and will be competing in August for the Ms. Universe title- working platforms and speaking on suicide prevention, sexual harassment, and women empowerment to try to make a difference in others’ lives.
I will always speak my truth and be unapologetically myself. I will do things my way and follow the path of my soul. I tore the map up and live by the principle of “why not?” and follow my inner compass. I hope my story allows you to follow your own heart and soul into living the life you were destined to live. In Paolo Coelho’s words: “Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure”. Go find your treasure!
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
Mariela Narvaez is a Bilingual Speech Language Pathologist who has worked in many settings including: medical clinics, school districts, home health and early Intervention. Mariela also provides clinical teletherapy speech/language pathology services (monolingual/bilingual) and administers screenings/evaluations nationwide to private clients from early childhood to adult populations at Great Speech, Inc.
Mariela provide clinical services to patients with Down syndrome, Autism, Intellectual disabilities, and other communication disorders and learning disabilities. Mariela provides tailored therapy in the following parameters include: Articulation, phonology, receptive/expressive language, fluency, pragmatics, voice, reading comprehension, apraxia, augmentative and alternative communication (AAC), and more. Mariela has state licenses in the following states: CA, FL, IL, NC, NM, TX. and PA.
She is a Published author, Actor, Intuitive, Ms. Illinois International 2022/Ms. Illinois USA Universe 2023 and Ms. USA Universe Global 2023 and will be competing in Miami, FL this August for the Ms. Universe title. Mariela graduated magna cum laude with a B.A. in Creative Writing/minor in Business Administration, and with a M.S. in Bilingual Speech Language Pathology from the University of Texas at El Paso. Mariela has certifications in Reiki/Pranic Healing, Psychology, Quantum physics, & Spiritual Life Coaching. Mariela speaks on many topics: woman empowerment, sexual harassment, & suicide prevention. Mariela is also a keto coach, helping people reach their health goals with her easy-to-follow Keto Books.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
On average, there are 130 suicides per day and 1 million attempts every year. I was an attempt. My nephew an Alan succeeded in his.
Alan was like a little brother to me, he was such a light in our lives. When he left us, he left a hole, a void, no one can fill. Although he had high and lows, I personally didn’t see the signs.
This event marked my life in more ways than one & paralleled my own darkness and my attempt at my own life. I was in a toxic relationship, and I was broken down to the point I felt unworthy of living and I took pills never wanting to wake up. But I did wake up. My failed suicide attempt was God’s saving grace. He gave me a second chance. He had other plans for me. I was kept on this Earth because I had a mission now. I found the light within me, with God’s divine love, my the support of my beautiful treasures- my 3 children- Seth, Sienna and Syler, my beautiful family, friends and my soul tribe, I was able to heal and transmute my darkness into light, step into my power to own my truth, and love every part of who I am.
Though Alan is gone. His spirit lives with us forever. But I’m still here! My mission is to help prevent losing more precious lives, by supporting suicide prevention programs and increase awareness and be the light onto others to help them overcome their own darkness. These stories of hope and recovery have the power to help others and dispel stigma and myths about suicide. We can do this together. We can walk each other back home to the light. I also want to inspire women to be who they are meant to be, give them strength if they are walking in a dark path. If I could do it- a single mother with 3 children, so can you!
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
I have many passions in my life and I truly believe that with all that I am doing- Speech Language Pathology, Pageantry, writing and acting. I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. It’s what is in my heart, try to make a change in this world, and I get to do it everyday with all my heart, passiontly and I give it all that I am. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.marielanarvaez.com
- Instagram: @mariela_narvaez_starseed
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marielans
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariela-narvaez-soto
- Twitter: @marielastarseed
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/@Mariela_Starseed
Image Credits
Photo credits by Christa George, Alexsandra Kolesnikova, Bobby King, and Brian Zeiers.