We recently connected with Mariel Cornel and have shared our conversation below.
Mariel, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Are you able to earn a full-time living from your creative work? If so, can you walk us through your journey and how you made it happen?
Living as a full-time creative is like living in survival mode all day, every day. There are days where I have no work or callbacks, which sounds like a dream, until rent is due. While teaching is consistent, it only is 9 months out of the year since our schedule revolves around the school year. Until then, it’s a bunch of one-off events, such as hosting my own classes or workshops at events, if I’m lucky. However, when it’s near the end of the school year, I’m working sometimes thirteen days in a row. When it comes to choreographing or performing for an artist or music video, most of the time, it’s for exposure aka free. Other times, the pay rarely includes practice time, mileage, and studio rental fees, and is barely enough to get by.
My schedule is inconsistent, always changing and I’m always worried about my next opportunity. I don’t have 401k, nor do I have PTO. If my creativity suffers due to well, life, then the rest of my work takes a hit too. It’s scary and unreliable, but it keeps me on my toes. It challenges me to constantly think outside of the box, but with such a high risk, there’s always a high reward. The connections I’ve made and the network I’ve built has given me the support I’ve needed to keep going. The demand for my classes keep growing and more and more parents/students are constantly looking for opportunities for me.
When I first started teaching in 2021, it was never like this. I would be breaking my back to still not make rent and I’d have to sell my clothes to stay afloat. I slowed down on content creating so getting opportunities for that were slim, especially due to the pandemic.
Now that I’ve really dug in my roots, I’ve been able to build a platform to finally jump off of and explore my love for teaching and dance in different spaces. While teaching is unconventional, it fills my cup so much. I couldn’t be more grateful to get paid to do what I love.
Mariel, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
After years of copywriting at corporate jobs and trying to balance an influencer career, I decided to pivot. I was burning myself out doing work that wasn’t on sustainable, but also wasn’t fulfilling. After the lockdown, I divvied into some acting and modeling opportunities, danced in a few music videos and commercials, then choreographed and back-up danced for some independent artists. I was trying my hand at everything. Eventually, a few friends of mine couldn’t take on some teaching opportunities and threw it my way. Next thing I knew, I was teaching regularly at one studio, then four; teaching 6 days a week and driving from DTLA to the OC almost every day. Over the past 2.5 years, I taught jazz, K-pop, hip hop, and pre-ballet to ages 5-50. I was even leading workshops at K-pop conventions and festivals as well as performing at them. Through that experience, I choreographed and creative directed a multitude of performances and competition routines that landed us first place, Judge’s Choice, and invites to Nationals. I realized teaching was something I was naturally good at and it made sense to combine that with something I loved. Through trial and error and watching a million TikToks on gentle parenting, I developed seamless curriculums, which also helped me dabble in occupational therapy through dance.
Teaching has truly been the gift that keeps on giving. It’s been so incredibly fulfilling to share what I love and connect with my inner child. A full-circle moment. It’s been such a meaningful experience to be able to see my students grow not just as dancers, but interpersonally as well. I believe that your students are a reflection of you as a teacher and I couldn’t be more proud of how my students take initiative, are incredible leaders, and are smart, accountable dancers.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
TW: suicide/depression
In February, I was rear-ended at a full stop, which landed me in the ER. I was dealing with a concussion, months of whiplash, and a lawsuit. I was in-and-out of physical therapy and acupuncture because of it. The concussion even had me forgetting my students names for weeks. Not to mention, the choreography we had been working on for months. I’d be backtracking to the same places because I was leaving my belongings behind. It took a huge impact on my mental health and the way I’ve been able to operate on a cerebral level.
Working 6 days a week while managing my concussion also kept me from seeing friends and family. I didn’t have time for hobbies; I didn’t have time for myself. I missed birthdays and holidays and if I did have time to celebrate an occasion, I’d be too overstimulated and burnt out to want to leave home. At the same time, I was going through an intense break up. Friends stopped taking my calls for help. It felt like people were leaving me left and right. The isolation sent me on spirals almost every day. It felt endless. I was looking for relief constantly and if I weren’t distracted, the anxiety would immediately take over. Every day felt like the walls were coming in and I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. That’s when the suicidal ideation began.
I doubled up on my therapy sessions and after some MRIs and neurology tests, was prescribed anti-depressants. I was struggling with severe anxiety and depression. I would wake up in cold sweat from nightmares and would keep waking up due to the whiplash. I didn’t feel safe in my own body. I couldn’t even find peace in REM-land. I couldn’t dance, much less move my body in any way comfortable. I was restless from not being active and I was fighting myself the whole time. I was forced to return to work much sooner than anticipated and realized I couldn’t multitask as well as I used to. I couldn’t operate at the level that I used to and according to the neurologist, this is my new normal.
Since then, I’ve lightened my load and quit one of my jobs. I prioritized my rest and realized in the mix of it all, I had truly lost myself. I questioned if dance was for me still and if I still loved teaching. I couldn’t hear my intuition and I was in a constant state of dread. I started fencing and got back into cross-fit and yoga. I started reading, journaling again, and taking nature walks regularly. I even started working on my relationship with my parents again; anything to make me feel connected and supported again. It was so integral for me to come back to myself so I could give back to my students and the people in my life without feeling overwhelmed and bitter. I was so far away from home that the journey back was gruesome and debilitating.
Is there mission driving your creative journey?
After quitting one of my jobs, I’ve had a number of students find me, asking for more opportunities to dance under my guidance. It’s so heartwarming to know that wherever I go, my students will follow and that speaks volumes of the impact I’ve made. That feeling overrides any ounce of doubt I’ve ever had. It’s been my goal to create safe spaces for my students and the community they find solace in. I’ve been hosting independent workshops and am now teaching at homeschooling communities too. I’ve found that I can still continue teaching in a way that honors my mental and physical health, in a way that balances work and play, and in a way that gives to me the same way that I’m able to give to my students.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.polydeux.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polydeux/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/polydeux
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9HyYCZiRdafol5RYfScE6Q
- Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@polydeux
Image Credits
Editorial photos by Amy Maramba (@amymaramba) Action shots by Jeremy Rufino (@rudefino) and Irving (@irvingvisuals)