We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Marie Alessi a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Marie, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.

I did not per se “plan” to start the business I have now. I had my coaching practice for about 7 years, when my husband went on one of his regular business trips and never came home. He passed in the prime of his life, with no warning signs, from a brain aneurysm. Our boys were ten and eight. I was 20 when I lost my dad, so I knew what not to do.

I considered myself lucky in such that Rob and I had the “what if” conversation about 3 years prior to his passing. He had to take a 2-hour detour on the way home from work, due to a fatal accident. That’s what had us talk about it. We both agreed “If something was to ever happen to me, I would want you to create the happiest life possible for you and the boys!”

And here I was, sharing the news with our boys – and my husband’s words became my North Star.

It didn’t take long for me to notice, how differently I was handling our grief – not just compared to when I was young and lost my dad – but compared to most of society. About 4 months into it I decided to share our story and published my first book “Loving Life after Loss”. To my own surprise, I ranked in the top 100 bestseller list in Australia. This is when I realised “I’ve got something the world needs!”

I shared hope, healing, and happiness, when people expected it the least, yet needed it the most. Only months later I founded the movement under the same title. I created healing journeys, programs, and retreats, wrote another 2 books, co-authored 2 more – and delivered my first TEDx talk on “Redefining our Image of a Widow”.

Everything I offered, was unexpected, full of Love and hope – it felt like shining our own North Star into the grief community.
It didn’t take long to attract media attention from major publications and media outlets around Australia and even the US.

5 years after my husband passed, I had taken over 4,000 people onto their healing journey. I felt accomplished, deeply honoured, yet exhausted. I knew something needed to change. I took some time away from the group to do the “inner work” and sit with my decision. I knew I had to step away from the group. And I knew I wasn’t done.

Then I spoke at Camp Widows. My talk was on “Embracing Anger”. The impact it had was incredible – not just the feedback I received, also within me, how it made me feel.

Something ignited within me, deep inside – and that’s when I decided to become a Keynote Speaker. It would bring even more impact to the world, with less “24/7 availability” from my end.

So, now, my business was not planned. It evolved. And this is how “Grief Revolution” was born.

Marie, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

What I am most proud of is that I did it, with constantly having our best interest at heart. Whatever I shared with others, wherever I helped others heal, it came back to us tenfold… it created such an upwards spiral! I believe it is the main reason I called an interview series #UpspiralGrief.

I had created healing journeys, programs & retreats, under my brand “Loving Life after Loss”. And then there was the next level. I wanted something with more impact, and less responsibility. The group had me online almost 24/7. It started taking its toll on my family time. So, on Rob’s 5th anniversary of passing, I archived the group.

Then I rebranded under “Grief Revolution”, as it sums up in 2 words what I have started.
It is bold and strong – exactly what you need to be, when you take a stand in Grief.
Nobody will ever understand, until you go through it. Just like Motherhood. You cannot explain it, until you live it.

I wanted to provide a different path for people. And only by being a living example, could I become a trailblazer for what I deeply feel is needed in this world. We needed somebody to stand up and say “It’s ok to be ok. You are allowed to heal.”

And here is my key realisation: Grief does bring forward what I like t refer to as “hidden gifts in adversity”. There will be tears and there will be joy. If there was no joy at all, it would be called depression, not grief. I understand, this is not a medical thesis, this is my very personal understanding of it. These days I treat grief like a visitor – it is not a permanent resident in my house. I am ok with grief visiting. I sit with it, I hold space for it – I allow the time. And I am also mindful that there is a time to bid my farewell and focus back on joy and happiness.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I definitely had to unlearn everything I ever thought I knew about grief. Society currently doesn’t provide the most nurturing environment when you experience adversity.
We have a lot to learn and answer for when it comes to mental health. Yet that’s a whole other topic to address.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

The concept of two choices becomes a very simple tool to use when it comes to resilience. I was lucky enough that my husband was the one who brought this home to me, literally. It is so easy to fall into thought patterns like “I had to carry on, for my children”. Yet then you look at it from the perspective of choices.

My favourite answer to this is “You chose to carry on for your children!”. I had a realisation that took me almost 3 years – one day it came to me, like a lightbulb moment: I’m not a single mum, I am a sole parent. I am it. There is no other single parent in a different household, whom I share responsibilities, decisions, holidays or finances with, it is just me.

I pretty much owned being a single parent from day dot. Yet it took me a long time to realise it’s a whole different level to acknowledge being a sole parent. I LOVE being a mum. I never felt “it was hard”, I never fell into “poor me, I’m doing it all on my own”. I feel being a mum is such a privilege. I honour it, I treasure it – and yes, there are challenges, don’t get me wrong – I just feel that it is the most rewarding thing I have ever chosen in my entire life.

I love that my boys have learned, that death doesn’t have to define you in a way that life is over.
Life is different. And sometimes that can be an amazing thing, other times it might be more challenging.
At the end of the day all that matters is how you look at things – that’s where our choices are, and this is what I call empowerment!

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grief.revolution/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarieAlessiPublicFigure
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marie-alessi/

Image Credits
I have already watermarked the image I need to supply credit for.