We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Maria Silvia Paoli a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Maria Silvia, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
The past few years have been a defining period of my life, both personally and professionally. During this time, I have faced multiple changes and challenges, making it one of the most difficult and transformational periods of my life. I emigrated from Venezuela to Miami in 2017. In 2020 I separated from my husband after an 11-year-long marriage. I had to resume my professional life after taking a long break to care for my children. I suddenly found myself in a position where I had to start afresh my professional life in a new country, with everything that that entails, taking care of my two kids, during a global pandemic.
This has been a defiant process, where I have faced numerous difficulties, one after another, and after another. And sometimes all together at the same time. But the thing is, that these very tough moments can also come with a spark of magic. So much adversity at the same time can suddenly become a great opportunity. It is in the most difficult moments where I have felt that there are only two options, either I sink into my problems or I dare and take that small step toward things that I was afraid of before. I started taking risks. I started breaking free of my comfort zone. And slowly I have been creating the foundations of a profound moment of transformation and growth. So now, where I stand, with a lot still to grow, to learn, and to risk, I am satisfied and proud of what I have accomplished so far.
Maria Silvia, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I was born and raised in Caracas, Venezuela. From a very young age, I knew that my passion was to understand the human being and help others. I pursued my interest by studying psychology in my home country and later went to Spain, where I obtained a master’s degree in Art Therapy.
After completing my studies in Spain, I returned to Venezuela where I had the opportunity to work for prestigious institutions such as FUNDANA. It is a non-profit organization that provides shelter to children who have been victims of abandonment, abuse, and/or sexual abuse. The organization also offers family-strengthening programs for families at risk. My role here was that of a licensed therapist and coordinator of one of their programs. I worked with families that addressed issues related to domestic violence, child neglect, abuse, and sexual abuse.
I also had the privilege of working at IESA, which is widely regarded as Venezuela’s leading private nonprofit business school. At IESA, I worked towards supporting and promoting the well-being of the most disadvantaged populations in my country. My role was to coordinate a Social Responsibility project that offered free education to community leaders and entrepreneurs living in the neighboring communities of IESA.
In 2017, the conditions in Venezuela had become unbearable, characterized by ongoing protests, government repression, constant uncertainty, inadequate basic services, and a persistent risk of crime, among others. After experiencing firsthand months of street protests where a lot of people got killed, or incarcerated; my family and I decided to emigrate to Miami.
Upon moving to Miami, I counted on a solid background in studies and enough professional experience to dare to jump into the professional world in my field. I needed to quickly find a way to practice my skills and experience in the US, so I entered the competitive industry of Coaching, which has been a challenging yet fulfilling experience. I attended the University of Miami to become a certified coach and now hold an ICF ACC certification in coaching.
I also obtained a trauma-informed coach certification to enhance my coaching knowledge and skills, and to be better equipped to assist clients who have faced complex and traumatic situations. However, rather than dwelling on the past, my coaching approach focuses on helping clients understand how their past experiences affect their present and plan for a brighter future, acknowledging that these experiences are a part of their story.
In my personal life, I have gone through traumatic experiences, and I have worked hard to integrate this part of me healthily into my life. Also, as I said before, throughout the past years, I’ve encountered a myriad of challenges myself, necessitating profound transformations in my lifestyle. I’ve worked on a deeper level these past traumas and longstanding issues carried with me for years. As a therapist, I have always relied on therapy myself for support in different opportunities in my life. I have come to learn firsthand, that when you carry traumas, the bigger the transformation the deeper you have to go in the healing process of these.
I am highly interested in and preparing myself to incorporate techniques into my practice to work with my clients with a body-mind-spirit holistic approach. I believe that different aspects of an individual’s life are interconnected and that to promote well-being, all these aspects need to be taken into account. I am soon incorporating techniques such as breathing, mindfulness, and somatic work. As Bessel van der Kolk explained in The Body Keeps the Score “We have learned that trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on the mind, brain, and body”.
Based on my experiences and training, I believe that I have built a strong foundation to become a life coach capable of assisting clients with a wide range of issues. These could include anything from simple daily difficulties to more complex situations that might stem from difficult past experiences. I aim to help my clients move forward in their lives and help them identify obstacles that may be holding them back.
I had the opportunity to work on an online platform that seeks to improve the lives of Hispanic speech clients. I saw clients all around the globe, mostly Venezuelans, and immigrants. It was very gratifying to be able to help people from my country, hardworking, going through all the struggles that immigration entails. It was a very special experience.
Also, I have had the opportunity to work as a recovery coach and support individuals in their journey to overcome addiction. I have learned that I have a strong inclination toward working with such clients.
I have provided coaching services using various modalities. I have worked as a sober companion and sober transport. When working as a sober companion clients can hire these services 24/7, or a few hours a week. All plans are customized to the needs of the clients. My work is not restricted to one-hour sessions, but rather living with the clients in their day-to-day lives. I accompany and support clients so that they can integrate all the changes that they must make in their lifestyles.
Undoubtedly, working with people who are recovering from addictions is one of the niches to which I will continue to dedicate my efforts. I consider myself to be at a point in my career that I would call exploratory. I am open to continue working with all types of clients, and over time I will specialize more and more in those niches with which I feel most related and where I feel I can give the best contribution.
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
If I were to do it all over again, I would do the same, there is no doubt about it. Underlying this mindset is all the knowledge that I define as my faith. My faith is based on teachings from spiritual teachers that I have learned throughout my life. As one of the great masters I have had the good fortune to study says, we are always where we need to be, to learn what we have to learn. We don’t always get what we want, but we do get what we need for our evolution (Gerardo Schmedlig). In this sense, it’s not worth wasting time wondering if I could have done better. Rather, than taking a leap of faith and believing that there is a higher force, a master plan for everyone, that way one can let go and accept how life unfolds.
My early life experiences in the personal and family sphere led me to develop a very deep interest in human nature. That interest hasn’t faded, rather it has grown over time. This is something that is already part of me, of who I am as a person. I’ve always been inspired to find that new version of myself better than the last, and then find that another new version again. It’s a never-ending process. It’s my lifestyle, it’s my way of understanding life. I feel a deep conviction that my purpose in this life is personal growth, and my passion is to help others. This is unchangeable.
As an immigrant, my career has taken many turns. The biggest twist came when I had to set aside my hard-earned licensed therapist degree to become a life coach. Also, I had to learn to adapt to a very different country and a super-competitive system like the one in the USA. I also needed to start building a network of professional contacts almost from scratch, which has taken a lot of effort. Many times, during this journey, I have felt frustrated. But then I remind myself that things happen the way they have to, and I let go and I take that leap of faith, and I find peace.
Today, I’m starting to see a lot of benefits from all the changes and adaptations I’ve had to make in my professional career. My training and work as a coach have brought me closer to a job that I feel resonates even better with me. My background in psychology helps me a lot in my work as a coach. However, I feel that my practice as a coach aligns very well with interests that I have developed in recent years, such as mindfulness, and trying to address problems from the present moment. It has helped me find the niches that resonate with me the most, such as the work I do with people recovering from addictions. It also has given me more flexibility with my clients, which fits perfectly into the roles I’ve played as a sober companion, transport, and coach.
Today I see how everything is starting to make sense. And it’s not that I would do it the same way again, it’s that I learned to see the benefits in the way things have unfold and I understand that it’s the only way everything could have happened. So, I feel grateful.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
Leaving aside studies and training, which are key to success in my field, I believe that taking care of yourself and having a balanced life is also crucial to being successful.
When you work helping other people, you always have to be very attentive to working on yourself. Many times, the processes of others can trigger processes in us, and we must tackle that in time and work on it in ourselves so that it does not affect the work of helping the other. It is a continuous work of helping others and growing at the same time as a professional and as a person.
Maintaining a balance in our lives is crucial. It involves finding a middle ground between helping others and setting limits to our work. It is important not to forget to take care of ourselves while helping others. In my experience, when I balance work, sports activities, leisure time, spending time with loved ones, and other activities, I can provide better service to others.
Image Credits
Prizma Photos