We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Mare Tomaski a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Mare, thanks for joining us today. Was there a moment in your career that meaningfully altered your trajectory? If so, we’d love to hear the backstory.
At around age 18 years old, while working at Sears and Roebuck as an Interior Decorator, I was diagnosed with chronic strep throat which was often accompanied by ear infections. Through my entire childhood I had frequent ear infections that left me with some hearing loss in my right ear. My throat was almost always sore, red and inflamed. All of which did not bode well for my passions. I loved to sing and write poetry back then, and had dreams of a career in the music industry. After many rounds of antibiotics over many years, other problems began to show up and I began to consider that the plan I was on was not working. I was finally prescribed a very strong antibiotic that had so many side effects it really made me take a pause. (one symptom of this antibiotic was a black tongue, another was premature death) When I mentioned this to my doctor he suggested we take my tonsils out. I began to do some reading about alternative health and treating chronic conditions with food and herbs that seemed interesting to me. As I read more and more I learned that the tonsils are part of the immune system and that it may be a good idea to hang on to them. I decided not to have my tonsils removed and instead began to change my diet drastically. Little by little I started to feel better. After talking with some women who were older than me, more experienced and who I considered to be wise, I decided to consult with some alternative health providers about my chronic strep and found my way to a homeopath named Matilda Flores. Matilda put me on a series of homeopathic remedies and advised me to cut out dairy and sugar. Which I did. In addition to buying my first juicer. The long and short of this was, vibrant health began to show up. My throat calmed down, my ear infections went away and many of the other symptoms like yeast infections, horrible acne, rashes, and headaches also began to go away. I was relieved and amazed. No one ever told me that changing my lifestyle was medicine! I was so inspired by this concept that I began to throw myself into learning everything I could about the topic.
In the years that I struggled with chronic conditions, all while eating plenty of processed food and tons of sugar, I learned some valuable lessons that began to point me in the direction of new passions that included alternative health. I started to do yoga, and jog. I began to study dance and do pilates. I meditated and joined a kirtan group and read every book I could get my hands on about traditional earth based remedies. I ate tons of organic veggies and juiced every green thing I could find. By the time I hit 21 years old I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to become a naturopathic doctor. In order to do that however, I needed to make more money, because back then parents did not foot the bill for their children’s education where I came from. Especially not their girls. Young women seemed to have a few choices: become a nurse, a teacher, a secretary or a home maker. None of which appealed to me in the least. I knew I had to scrape together my own money which meant I needed a better paying job. So I decided to go to massage school. I could be certified in under 2 years and make triple what I was making in a retail position.
And here we come to the “defining” moment. I was working at a Native American retail store, (having outgrown being an interior decorator) that specialized in native art, jewelry, herbs, books, workshops and yes, alternative healing. I knew retail was not a long term gig, I knew I had to get some education, and after looking around the Boston area for a good, comprehensive massage training, I came across The New Mexico Academy of Advanced Healing Arts in Santa Fe NM. I knew instantly that this was the place. I began to consider flinging myself out into the world and leaving the comfort and safety of my new England upbringing. The person who owned ‘Native Spirit’ where I worked, was pretty upset that I was beginning to consider leaving Massachusetts and some guilt was thrown in my direction. I was young, a bit timid, and easily manipulated. I didn’t like for people to be upset with me and I began to waiver.
At this point, I was looking for some signs. I got into some very hot sweat lodges, I wrote about my confusion, I waited, and prepared and quietly began to feel I was going to make the right decision. When I informed my boss again that I was really leaning towards going to massage school in Santa Fe, we had a bit of an argument. She did not think I should go, she had given me more responsibility at the store and a raise in the hopes of getting me to stay. We argued and I felt I was getting more confused and I needed to just go and be alone. I got in my car and drove to the local ball park. I parked my car and got out. It was dusk, a beautiful late afternoon and I climbed up on the hood of my car and cried. I was being pulled in many directions, afraid to leave but even more afraid to stay, and not follow my dreams. I kept asking for a sign. Things had been falling into place, plans were beginning to form. There were other relationships with people I loved dearly who also had feelings about me leaving. I kept asking for a sign. Not knowing the signs had been showing up all around me. I had the down payment for school, I had sent in my application and been accepted for the fall semester. I had a road worthy car that I knew would carry me across the country to my new life. Then, as I sat there, on the hood of my car at Feely Park in Sudbury Massachusetts — 3 butterflies showed up, One landed on me, the other 2 flew around my head for quite some time. The one that landed on my arm just sat there. It did not leave, it just stayed there, on my arm and stared at me. I started to talk to this little being: “What?” ” Look at you, just sitting with me!” “Aren’t you sweet!” My tears turned to a little laugh and I began to connect with these winged beings. In my head I heard: “you asked for a sign, well here is your sign.” Butterflies….the harbingers of change and transformation. The spiritual medicine of the butterfly encourages us to embrace change in our lives, to let go of what no longer serves us, and to welcome new beginnings with an open heart.
At that moment all of the timidity left me. I knew I was on the right path. I knew those who loved me would support me and encourage me to grow and learn and follow my heart. Within about 6 months my car was packed, I had all my AAA maps, and I was ready go to west. That was over 30 years ago and with hindsight I can report, without any doubt, I know that I made the exact right decision. The choice to become a massage therapist was the best choice I could have ever made. I loved it so much that after I graduated I went on to get about 3000 hours of continuing education and had a thriving body work and coaching practice that I loved. I never did go to school to become a Naturopath, because I loved being a body worker so much. Eventually I became a certified Functional Medicine Health Coach and in addition to my bodywork practice was coaching people towards health as well as being their body worker, which fulfilled that other desire in me. After I graduated from The Functional Medicine Coaching Academy in 2016 I was hired on to facilitate the Functional Medicine Coaching program, and to my merriment I really enjoy teaching as well . It all worked out exactly as it needed to.
All because 3 sunset, ball park butterflies got my head on straight! The rest, as they say, is history!
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I am a Functional Medicine trained health coach, master body worker, structural integration therapist, biodynamic cranial sacral therapist, FSM practitioner, yoga teacher, public speaker, author and teacher. For the past 35 years, my passion has been in helping people recapture their health, their confidence and their power. I believe it is a radical act of self regard to live in a way that feeds and nurtures vibrant health. In a world where processed, packaged, garbage food prevails, and both the health care industry and the food industry lie to consumers with such skill and dedication, those who can turn toward more common sense ways of being are rewarded many times over. My work is to shepard my fellow seekers towards their own wisdom. To help people feel at home in their own flesh and blood and inspire them to make the best possible choices for longevity, personal fulfillment and contentment.
My passion is very personal and my treatment room is my laboratory. I’ve shared my views in my podcast called The Human Restoration Project which can be found on Apple, Spotify and many other pod casting outlets. The pod cast came out of my book of the same title where I share common sense health wisdom and bio hacks, while encouraging listeners to live with radical acts of self regard and inner wisdom.
I am available for group and one-on-one coaching, body work and public speaking.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
This question is so important! I feel so strongly about this because of the world we find ourselves in right now. The “post covid” world rapidly changed the way we interact with our fellow humans. We were sequestered away from each other which only accelerated digital avenues for connection. While we must certainly be grateful for having platforms like Zoom and Google Meet during that time and of course social media with all it’s contradictions, what I am noticing are some dire consequence to this hyper digitized world.
So to answer this question is to speak to human connection and relationship building. In my field, the healing arts, I can say I have never advertised, I never “branded” myself, and I have not had a website for years. I am not on social media and I refuse to use my phone like a computer. My business has always thrived on relationships and offering care and a safe harbor from the storms of the world for my clients.
I trained hard, I developed skills in my hands and in my heart that kept people coming back. I go above and beyond, I offer treatments that have an unmistakable affect upon the human nervous system. When people leave my office they feel altered. They feel very different than they did when they first arrived. The addition of FSM (frequency specific micro current) to my practice has enhanced the experience for people exponentially and over the years I have explored different cutting edge treatments like low level lasers, and FSM that bring treatments to a whole new level.
The magic is in my hands, and in my skill and in my relational abilities. I truly love people, I love the way I can soften their stress and pain and I love that they know they can come in and be changed, altered, made to feel more whole again. Even if only for a few days or a week. Some times the pain goes away and never comes back. There is no judgement, only acceptance and care. You cannot deliver that in a tweet, or a FB post. You cannot get that across in an advertisement. That comes across when they go home and talk to their family, and friends about their experience. My clients are my best marketeers. So I have not and will not ever “brand” myself, or spend copious amounts of time on social media trying to prove to the world or anyone else for that matter that I am enough. That can only happen face to face, hand to hand, heart to heart in the treatment room.
I encourage my students in this way as they graduate. Forget the digital world. Go out and talk to people, face to face. Do a talk at a health club, or a sporting event or at your local library. I started out 30 years ago giving sessions at the Boston Marathon and my local gyms and spas. I gave away some free massages and complimentary coaching sessions. Often times my massage and SI clients become coaching clients and visa versa. I was involved at our local organic farm, and our local Quaker Meeting house. I am a musician so I’d also draw clients from my fellow musicians with hand and arm pain. I was also studying dance for about a decade and I worked on a lot of my fellow dancers with leg, and foot pain. We understood each other as dancers and musicians. It is a special bond.
What do I think is most helpful in succeeding in almost any field? Kindness, love, acceptance and human connection. Service and hospitality is my super power. Love and connection are my church. My treatment room is my communion and my holy ground.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I had to unlearn plenty. I had to unlearn that I am not worthy. I had to unlearn that I had to hurt myself to help others. I have a very hard core New England work ethic and I have had times in my career when burn out was creeping in. Working for years in a row 25 clients a week, doing deep tissue work nearly wiped me out. So I learned early on that I needed to take time off, and that it was of the utmost importance to keep learning and expanding my skills. So I’d take working vacations where I’d go off for 2 weeks or a month and study a new modality. Or I’d go on retreats to get my own nervous system to relax. Yoga retreats became my vacations for decades. Spiritual retreats in Peru, Yoga retreats in Mexico and yes, in the dead of winter that would be a real boost for my nervous system. To just get away and chill or get away and learn something new. In the past 4 years I found my way to The Optimal Health Institute and I go there every year for a week to reconnect with myself, fast, be quiet, drink lots of wheat grass and cleanse my lymph and detox organs. In the past I would go to Esalen quite a bit until the oligarchs made that place un touchable to any one but the uber rich. (don’t get me started on that situation!!)
One of my top character strengths is Love of Learning. Some times I’d over use that strength, but it paid off. I took some time off to write my book and that was an amazing time of growth and renewal for me. It is so important as a service oriented professional to tend to my own needs so I can really be clear and solid for my clients.
Contact Info:
- Website: don’t really have one!
- Instagram: nope!
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/humanrestorationproject/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/
- Twitter: nope!
- Yelp: https://www.judysbook.com/Mare-Tomaski-Therapeutic-Massage-Personal-Care-framingham-r27340371.htm#google_vignette