We were lucky to catch up with Manmeet Rattu recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Manmeet thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you share a story with us from back when you were an intern or apprentice? Maybe it’s a story that illustrates an important lesson you learned or maybe it’s a just a story that makes you laugh (or cry)?

Over the course of my graduate studies, I had the opportunity to intern in various community and corporate settings, including clinics, hospitals, schools, and legal institutions. Although they were each valuable experiences, it was my Pre-doc internship that was the most insightful.

After years of working diligently as a graduate student, I applied to several APA internships. I remember not sleeping the entire night before match day, the annual day we learned where medical and graduate students are placed with applied residencies. At about 6:45 AM that day, my friend texted me that the results were posted. I took a deep breath as I logged into the portal. There it was. I matched with my top choice, University of Texas Health Science Center in the world-renown Texas Medical Center. I called my parents crying with joy, relief and excitement.

That fall, I moved my life to Houston, Texas. It was the first time I lived out of state and away from all things familiar. The internship was demanding and challenged me in ways I did not expect. Working 50 hours a week to complete clinical rotations, collect and interpret research data, document notes and write extensive neuropsychological reports, I was burning out quickly. It was common for people to work through their lunch and eat at their desk. I was still working on my own dissertation research, so did not have much time to recover on the weekends. After a few months, I asked my clinical supervisor if I could have a “real lunch” to have time outside of the hospital for a walk and air.

“How much time do you need, Mini?”, she asked.

“I don’t know, 30 minutes?”, I replied.

She reluctantly agreed and stated that she would tell the team I had blood-sugar issues so needed to eat at a certain time.
I was frustrated and disappointed in her response, but told her she can say what she needed to say.
As an aspiring psychologist, I was astounded at the discrepancy between behavioral advice for mental health treatment and the lack of practice providers were modeling. How could I expect my patients to adhere to self care recommendations if we weren’t doing it ourselves?

I soon reached out the employee wellness department and asked if I could teach yoga to the staff and providers. They graciously accepted and supported me in launching “Wellness Wednesdays”, a 45-minute morning yoga practice at the hospital.

Integrity is one of my highest values, and having the courage to ask for what I needed, especially when in a position of perceived low power, is something I am extremely proud of. That Pre-doc internship taught me to prioritize my values, to communicate my needs, and to take action to create change.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Discipline came after years of failing and feeling powerless. For me, it started with fitness. I hired my first coach and learned how to weight train and nourish my body for optimal physical health. After a few months, aesthetic changes were notable. What I did not expect, however, were the mental and emotional changes that came along, I was excited for life again. My mood, confidence, energy, and motivation to connect transpired into me wanting to be the best version of myself.

I had already been studying psychology and had an undergraduate and masters in marriage and family therapy, but it wasn’t until I went back for my doctorate in clinical psychology that everything seemed to align. I had personal setback that gave rise to me waiting better, and with the changes in my lifestyle, I was better equipped to truly go all in as a psychologist. I don’t want to be mediocre. I want to live my life with purpose. What I was able to learn and teach as a psychologist gave me the opportunities to make connections between physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I am proud that today, I embrace all parts of who I am without reservation or a need to compartmentalize my life. I want all of my patients to be the best version of themselves. Whether I am treating trauma, depression, or anxiety, allowing patients to see themselves with a fresh perspective is the most rewarding part for me. This is my purpose and calling in life, and I am so grateful to have a career that teaches self improvement with various options in how to lead.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Growing up in a South Asian home, I was used to following a prescribed set of cultural norms. I often relied on others to tell me what to do. My family always created a safe environment, so I trusted their judgment, sometimes more than my own. I remember a time in my life where I was so passive and unassuming that I even trusted others to make one of the most major decisions in my life– choosing my husband. I willingly agreed to go to India and have an arranged marriage, not because I was forced to, but because that’s what I thought my family and community expected of me.

I wanted to make everyone happy and even though I had doubts, I didn’t have to confidence and could never even contemplate being an assertive communicator.

My pattern of people-pleasing and passive communication carried over into my marriage. My husband, I learned was highly insecure. No matter what I did or what I said, or didn’t say, it was never enough for my husband. Over the months, he became increasingly jealous, demanding and abusive. He began checking my phone bill and demanding I identify each call, following me to work, making attempts to cut me off from my friends and family, calling me stupid, fat, and physically punishing me if I did not comply to his requests or simply because he felt like it. Over time, my self-esteem and self-worth continued to deteriorate. I went from being confident and funny to feeling small, worthless, and defective.

It wasn’t until my own family and the law intervened that I was able to leave that awful situation. Leaving, however, didn’t change how I felt about myself.

Thanks to my brother, I got into fitness. To be honest, what first drew me to exercise was the aesthetics: I wanted to look better. But as I started training and even getting into competitive bikini bodybuilding, I found that physical transformation was just the tip of the iceberg. Along the way, my attitude toward not only my body but my whole Self began changing for the better. I went back to school for my doctorate and removed myself from limiting beliefs that I realized were keeping me feeling stuck and unworthy. I invested in my physical and mental health, and over time I naturally evolved into a more confident version of myself.

While my marriage turned out to be the most traumatic event of my life, it also woke me up to start having a voice and taking lead of my life without compromising my core values of kindness and empathy. I created healthy boundaries, spoke my truth with integrity and began to trust my own judgment. I learned I was capable of being confident and assertive. Me!

But it wasn’t easy.

Through almost two decades of personal and professional research, I was able to build a system that honors my self worth and self-expression, without becoming cynical and jaded. I learned the skill of self-compassion and forgave my ex-husband. In fact, I began to understand his psychopathy and thanked him for helping me rise into a greater version of myself.

Today, more than ever, we need to have the skills to take ownership of our own lives while building true connections with our community. Authenticity requires assertive communication, being honest and having the courage to express your thoughts and feelings with compassion and understanding your intention rather than trying to please everyone. It’s time for us to stop feeling misunderstood, invisible, and under-valued.

Now is the time we must learn how to prioritize our mental, physical, spiritual and emotional wellbeing.
So I ask you to ask yourself, do you matter? Does your opinion matter? Do your values matter?

I love to teach my patients strategies I learned to be seen and valued for your true worth. I walk them through a journey of cultivating true self love with self-awareness, self-discipline, and fierce self-compassion while practicing fellowship and vulnerability.

What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?

Transparency, I believe in the power of authenticity and vulnerability. I believe loneliness is an epidemic in our country today because people do not feel safe to be themselves. We walk around with guarded hearts and express ourselves superficially at best. There is so much freedom and power that comes from being tru to ourselves. I connect with my clients because I am transparent and honest in the way I show up. I have learned that by me being authentic, it gives others permission to do the same.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://drmini.co
• Instagram: drmini.co
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmini.co/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrattu/