We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lynn Principe. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lynn below.

Lynn, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Is there a heartwarming story from your career that you look back on?

Being at the bedside and graveside with dying people and their loved ones for years has shown me the power of love. It sounds so cliche’, but truly, at the end, it’s the only thing that matters. I have been a witness to a lot of sorrow and heartbreak, but also a lot of forgiveness and unconditional love. One client in particular exemplified the power of love. I’ll call her Josie. She was only in her mid thirties and hired me towards the end of her cancer journey. Josie was in the process of treatment for her physical body, but spiritually and emotionally, she was preparing for her death. She had lived her life with passion and curiosity; traveled the world (her famous line was “Hello Adventure”), and had advanced degrees, and her approach to her death was no different. Josie had lived well and intended to die the same way.

Josie was married to the love of her life, let’s call him Matthew. Matthew gave himself entirely to her care and seemed to have an amazing sense to be strong when she needed him to be, yet was willing to be vulnerable. Together they navigated her illness and dying process. I recall one conversation that we had while Josie was in the hospital. I asked her what she wanted Matthew to know. Her reply had all three of us in tears. Her wish for him was that he find love again and to finally be a father- something that they had wished for but weren’t able to achieve.

The last day that I saw Josie, she was in terrible pain. While we were waiting for the hospice nurse, Matthew found an old video that he had taken of the 2 of them on their honeymoon in Costa Rica. I remember her joyful smile as the video captured her ziplining, soaring above the jungle. Then, I just watched the 2 of them watching the video together, smiling and just as in love as they were that day. When I said goodbye, I told her that I would remember her that way, soaring above the trees laughing.

Josie asked me if I would perform her funeral ceremony. She picked the readings and the music and I had the honor of sharing her love story. A few months later, I decided to get a new tattoo. It reads, “Hello Adventure”.

Lynn, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

Deciding to devote myself to accompanying the dying and their loved ones is not something that I ever saw myself doing. In fact, the “what do you want to be when you grow up” questions I received as a child were answered with, ” a waitress” and “an artist”. I was both of these and more before I found death care.

When I moved my family to Florida in the early 2000’s, I inherited my father’s aging aunt and uncle. They had never had children and had no one to help navigate their last chapter. I quickly became their person. First as my Aunt Mary’s advocate and companion. After her death, I became my great Uncle Frank’s everything until his death 7 years later. This experience taught me so much about dying with dignity, the importance of planning ahead and advocacy, and so much more.

in 2007, I became a hospice volunteer. Each hospice patient that I interacted with or held their hand as they took their last breath taught me something about life. I also learned that I had the capacity to hold space during difficult times and a steady supply of compassion. In 2018, I discovered the role of the Death Doula, or End of Life Doula. It was a full body YES for me, and I immediately became trained by the Conscious Dying Institute and later as a Conscious Dying Educator. I am passionate about initiating important, yet difficult conversations and advocating for living and dying on our own terms by providing emotional, spiritual and practical support to my clients. In order to help alleviate the overwhelm of end of life planning, I published an end of life planning guide called, “Walking Me Home”. It is available through Amazon.

While I was beginning my practice as an end of life doula, I completed a certification to become a Life Cycle Celebrant and began to provide funeral services as well. It is a great honor say the words that need to be said at the end of someone’s life and to provide sacredness to a part of life that can be over medicalized and full of fear.

As a life-long learner, I am always seeking to grow my consciousness and ways to offer support. My work continues to grow as I now offer Grief Coaching that is focused on self care and creating practices to living with grief. It feels like a natural progression to what I already offer. My most recent addition is as a Licensed Pre-Arrangement Advisor for the Neptune Society to assist folks in preplanning their cremation and funeral services.

Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?

Some challenges to working in the death care field are, many people prefer not to acknowledge that life has a beginning and an end and they are unaware that professionals like myself exist. From the very beginning of my career, I have been planting seeds wherever I go. I decided, even as an introvert, I would say yes to every opportunity that came my way, even if I didn’t think I was capable or ready, as long as it aligned with my values.

I said yes to leading workshops, guest speaking opportunities, being a founding member of the Florida End of Life Doula Alliance and later their board president and educational leader. I joined every directory that highlighted end of life work so that people could find me. I said yes to every podcast and news interview invitation and I said yes to every invitation to coffee and mentorship opportunity.

We have a long way to go to change the conversations and practices around death care, but I have seen a lot of growth in the last 5 years and trust that the seeds that I have planted will continue to grow.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

An important attribute to working as an end of life practitioner is something that cannot really be taught. We must put our judgements aside and meet our clients where they are. I may not share their values or agree with their choices sometimes, but what they need from me is an advocate, not someone who wants to fix them. My agenda, if you’d call it that, is to support how they want to live in whatever time they have left and to die with as much peace as possible.

I learn more when I remain curious. There have been times when I thought I had this dying thing all figured out, only to be proved wrong over and over again. Death is a powerful teacher. At times what is needed is organization, forgiveness work and providing ways to alleviate physical discomfort and sometimes when all you can do is be a silent and loving presence, you do that.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.dearlybelovedlife.com
• Other: https://a.co/d/dFh9py7

Image Credits

Bella Michelle Milo