We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Lynn Abaté-Johnson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Lynn, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?
Out of my experience caring for my mom when she was diagnosed with stage IIIC ovarian cancer, i learned how to care for myself as well. And in fact, I’m learning to thrive, as my mom would have wanted me to.
After years of being a family caregiver, through the final day of my mom’s life, I have been learning how to transform my life through my grief and my own personal leadership journey.
This experience, spanning the years since my mom was diagnosed in 2011, has uncovered some inconvenient truths about my own identity, and out of my curiosity, I continue to seek more ways of understanding how I can serve others by telling the truth about the caregiving journey I experienced with my mom.
My book, “Out Of Love, A Daughter’s Journey With Her Mom To The End” is completely aligned with my mission and purpose, which is to uncover conversations and new horizons that can serve our highest good. And after my mom’s death, I’m learning how to “mother” myself into thriving on many levels.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
I am a life-long entrepreneur, from the age of nine. I grew up in an immigrant business family, waiting on customers and helping to implement organizational systems and structures. Over all the years of my life, I’ve been honing my skills and building capacity to develop successful businesses from the ground-up, through relationship and community building as priorities.
I’ve published a best-selling book for family caregivers called: “Out Of Love, A Daughter’s Journey With Her Mom To The End”.
This was a result of more than six years spent caring for my mom until she died of ovarian cancer in 2017.
My business orientation came into play when, with my mom’s guidance, we turned her diagnosis into a “business model” that helped us navigate many unknowns and daily tasks, as well as the emotional trauma of having cancer enter our world.
I’m proud of myself for being emotionally healthy enough to get curious about my identity as a daughter, wife, sibling, auntie, friend. I have learned to turn my mistakes into daily mantras that build healthy mind, body, spirit.
My main purpose is to support other all-of-a-sudden family caregivers with the stories about my journey with my mom, and the aftermath.
I am also a speaker and I welcome the opportunity to speak to groups of caregivers who may be struggling with the HOW-to navigate the roller coaster ride that a family illness can bring. My book is a conversation-starter, filled with my real-life experiences as well as tools & resources the reader can use to help make the journey (at any level) just a bit easier, less stressful.
As my mom always said: “everything will be ok”. I am with you, dear fellow family caregivers.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
My book, “Out Of Love, A Daughter’s Journey With Her Mom To The End” is specifically designed to help other all-of-a-sudden family caregivers take care of themselves, while also caring for a loved one. It’s the book I wish no one needed, and yet, it’s one that I could have used back in 2011 when my mom was diagnosed with stage IIIC ovarian cancer.
I thought I was going to die when my mom died.
In fact, I thought my mom’s cancer was going to kill me because I put everything into caring for her, and went “unconscious” in the other areas of my life, mainly my own self-care.
Today, more than five years after her death, I’m more healthy than I’ve ever been, on many levels.
Ironically, the way I’m thriving now is something my mom always wanted for me, and yet, I was unable to really “see it” and do the work I’m doing now, until after she died.
This is my purpose: to reveal new horizons, offering encouragement and hope to other adult family caregivers who may have found themselves in a position they never asked for.
I have been transformed through my grief journey, and I know my mom would be proud, as I am of myself.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
During my years as a caregiver, I had to unlearn the notion that I could control everything. While facing uncontrollable circumstances after my mom’s ovarian cancer diagnosis in 2011, I also picked up more patience along the way. It was either choose patience and relinquish some control, or suffer mentally, physically, emotionally.
My book dives into this subject at deeper levels. In a nutshell, it’s a story of how a strong daughter of a strong mother navigated unknown territory, including shock, surprise, and gut-wrenching trauma and drama on a daily basis for over six years.
I’m still UNlearning many things I thought were true, and they were not. Through my experience in our U.S. healthcare system, I have been letting go of previous assumptions, and gotten more curious about ways in which we can all work to bring more equity into a very broken system. I have more questions than answers at this point, so I’m following people and researching ways to be a part of solutions that empower the medical profession/front-line workers, alongside the patients, their families, and their family caregivers. There’s much work to do.
Contact Info:
- Website: LynnAbateJohnsonBook.com
- Instagram: Instagram.com/lajbiz
- Facebook: Facebook.com/lajbiz
- Linkedin: LinkedIn.com/in/lajbiz
- Twitter: Twitter.com/lajbiz
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LynnAbateJohnson
- Other: #OutOfLoveBook, online community by and for caregivers: https://outoflovebook.mn.co/ (all are welcome. No social media account necessary)