We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Luke Shirley a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Luke, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.
Just over a year ago I got introduced to a woman who owned a nonprofit focused on helping people in recovery and in active addiction through free Crossfit classes and personal training. We invited her to lead our outdoor fitness group, The Outsiders, and I asked if she would share her personal recovery story. It was deeply moving to see people in our group come up to her after and open up to express they too had struggled or lost someone close to them to battles of addiction and mental health.
Fast forward to April of this year and my mom and I ended up hosting a tennis tournament fundraiser for this nonprofit and invited people from the community to come out to support. What was so special about that day was a moment about halfway through the tennis tournament when we had three people share their recovery stories to a group of people many of whom had never been around people in recovery. I remember looking around the crowd as one person shared a deep and dark part of their past, and what struck my was how important it was to have people from all walks of life–in recovery and not in recovery, young and old, black and white–there to support each other through something so simple at its core: sharing stories of what really are our collectives struggles. I realized that no one is ever truly alone in the recovery battles they face through life, and that the people suffering alone–in their heads and in a very real sense–is such a huge part of the problem when we talk about addiction or mental health stigma.
I left that day thinking maybe we’re missing something really important when we talk about the word recovery and in recovery communities in general. This idea that I think we see so much of in our culture, an “us” verses “them” mentality that keeps people at a safe distance, or problems distinct to certain demographics or area codes. I started to think about how often I heard the word recovery mumbled under breath, as if the word itself was marked by a stigma that made it taboo to speak of openly. I realized that a dark and surreptitious shame followed people around in recovery due to this general lack of understanding and propensity that most people have to label, blame, and shame people who are different than “them.” What I really found was that given the chance to hear from people in recovery, there was a profound opportunity to reverse or at the very least reframe these misconceptions. To empower people to be proud of their recovery and others a chance to listen and become more aware was enlightening for people on both ends. In a word, I realized that connection was this missing link between those struggling and those with something to give. Ever since that day I wanted to figure out a way to make those connections for more and more people, and just 5 months later we ended up launching our own nonprofit, Quest in Recovery. While our focus is more towards mental health and young adults in particular, we hope to develop more resources and programs for the community at large to slowly lower the stigma and barriers that keep most people from reaching out for help until it’s too late. Our mission is to create a peer-supported community for young adults to develop positive coping skills, stress resiliency and meaningful connections to reduce the stigma and maladaptive behaviors associated with the challenges of mental health. Our 7-step Mentor Program is designed to get young adults out of their heads and into their communities through our weekly recreational offerings, monthly educational workshops and community service opportunities. We believe that it takes a community actively sharing and supporting others to even begin to address the downstream effects of mental health. To do this, we created a peer-supported community for young adults to find fun and challenging ways to share their recovery stories proudly rather than feel alone in their heads. Our mentors help young adults develop the positive and healthy coping skills needed to deal with mental health and challenges we all face. By involving the greater community, we hope to lower barriers of cost, access and stigma limiting those in need of these healthy resources.
Through our mentor program, we provide actionable steps and one person to work with that can make the first step of asking for help a little bit easier. Each and every person on our team believes that one person truly can change the world of one person who feels they are alone, because they have been there too. Every day we strive to shift the narrative of mental health: from stigma to awareness, loneliness to community, shame to compassion one day, one why at a time.
Luke, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I guess there is a long and short version of this, but basically I’ve been around people in recovery and exposed to mental health and substance use disorders all my life. I learned a lot from my mom who held space in our home and in her heart for so many people in the recovery community here. My dad comes from a very complicated family history of recovery struggles and lack of health awareness that I always though it to be a miracle just being “normal” so to speak. I witnessed someone very close to me growing up almost lose their life multiple times to addiction, and that profoundly altered my life. I think all of this took a very heavy toll on my own psyche and adaptive behaviors and what eventually revealed itself through varying depressive episodes. I was always fortunate in that I had good people in my. corner, a lot of them early mentors in my life through sports and fitness. These people helped me to see more of the light in the darkness I battled, and I realized not a lot of people are as fortunate, but that we can change that by creating this community and the spaces, resources, and programs in place for people to look after each other. We have to realize that we are only as strong and healthy as our least healthy individuals, and that one persons hurt is never felt alone.
When I think about the things I most proud of that we’ve done so far, it’s actually nothing that we have done: it’s the outpouring of support that we’ve received and the people who have opened up to share their stories with us. To see what a gift that is for people, how big of burden is lifted when someone gets something off of their chest is truly priceless, and I don’t think you can ever measure or truly quantify what that means to them. The best thing about this is that we all have this ability to share and listen to the stories of others, but we too often forget how important this can be, or we’re too busy chasing after things that are empty and meaningless in the long run. I hope more than anything our organization and our brand as a whole can be a harbinger for hope that exists even in the darkest of times for people who are struggling.
How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?
In the initial idea stages of Quest I was very, very close to starting a sober staffing service for private parties and events…haha. How things have changed! I had absolutely no idea how to do it, but I had worked with a lot of wedding planners in the past and always I noticed that they always lacked reliable people for events mostly due to the high prevalence of substance use in the F&B industry. I thought it would be a novel, albeit rather ironic concept to hire only people in recovery to serve alcohol to people, giving them both a supportive community and a Food and Bev like job. What I soon discovered about that industry was that most people only cared about having bodies, not hearing peoples’ stories or the idea of giving people a chance to do good for themselves. I also realized through an alarming amount of coffee meetings with friends, mentors and local business owners that I was not passionate whatsoever about staffing. All I really wanted to do was give people positive support and healthy alternatives through building a community and creating connections for people that prior to never existed–just like that tennis tournament day. Months later, after staffing a few big events I completely pivoted to starting a nonprofit and a peer-supported community for young adults in recovery and those facing mental health battles. Talk about a pivot!
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I love this question, because I’ve always thought that life was more of an unlearning process once you get into your 20s and almost all of us have to face the big existential questions that are all about meaning, purpose, and love–things that are innate in all of us, they just get covered in all the bullshit and shallow things that don’t matter that people tell you to care about, and of course all the pain and suffering that comes in life. I think the biggest lesson I’ve had to unlearn is this myth of the self-made man, or what my dad has termed the “mythology of me.” I know now that no one, absolutely no one forges their way alone in this world, and that to believe someone is an island unto their own or somehow this miraculous person out of self-discipline and sheer grit is just a reflection of this larger cultural narrative in America driven by individualism and consumerism. We always want to believe in this idea of individual greatness, but the most meaningful moments and gifts in life are ones shared. I believe the same is true for our struggles and our successes: we all need help, and that’s not a bad thing, but actually how it’s supposed to be. We are far stronger, far greater together than we ever could be alone. I’ve realized the profound messages you can find in the misfortunes you face translate to the immense, immeasurable gifts that only you get to give to others, and that this process of giving is where our true greatness lies. I think a lot of reading, a lot of failing, and a lot of listening to others way wiser and older than me lead me down this path and to this great unlearning. Hard to pinpoint any particular moment in time.
Contact Info:
- Website: questinrecovery.org
- Instagram: questinrecovery
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/luke-shirley-942a77a8/
- Youtube: https://youtu.be/CaQhAswrx6Q
Image Credits
Jack Birchfield