We were lucky to catch up with Lucca Petrucci recently and have shared our conversation below.
Lucca, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
I envision a world where our youth have the support, resources, opportunities, and representation to feel free to be 100% themselves and live fully expressed.
Growing up “different” in a small conservative, farmtown in Central California was challenging and took a huge toll on my mental health.
“Why does your voice sound like that? Why do you write like a girl? Why do you have so many girlfriends? You’re a sissy. You’re gay. You’re a faggot. Man up already.”
You’re different and we don’t like that. We don’t accept people who are like you.
This dialogue was on repeat in my head for 20+ years because it is how I was addressed over and over and over again. It’s how the kids on the playground talked to me. It’s the chatter that was happening throughout the school bus. It’s what the “cool kids” were smirking about in the locker room.
Around me and on TV, I saw queer people that were out and proud being disrespected, laughed at, hurt, and fully disregarded. The only queer adult I saw in my community was a family friend who was always the center of the joke.
Deep down, I wanted to accept me for me and show up as my authentic self, but I learned that it was wrong. Being the perfect Christian son, I wanted to do what was right to make my mom and family happy.
As a human and especially as a child, all you want is to belong and be loved for who you truly are — and I saw no space to belong as me.
If I choose my authenticity, would I be hurt or in danger? Would I be outcasted by my community and those I love the most? Would I disappoint my family and lose their love?
These were complex thoughts for a child to process on their own.
I remember saying, “Let me be my own person” time and time again to my family. This was all I could verbalize at the time. This was my cry for help, my way to process how lost I was inside, my longing for authenticity.
Over the past 8 years, I’ve felt called to be the mentor and safe space I desperately needed in my youth. To be the person I wish I had when I was living in the darkness, struggling with my identity and confused about what was honest and true about me. The person who gave me the space and permission to embrace my uniqueness. The person who wholeheartedly told me, “You are accepted for being authentically you. You can represent your own true nature and live the most joyous life.”
This calling led me to develop and lead thousands of middle school, high school, and college students throughout the US, helping them gain a greater sense of self-esteem and confidence in their worth, abilities, originality, and future. I’ve dedicated my professional career to building a more equitable, inclusive, and affirming future for students in their school environment and beyond.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
I’m a Youth Inclusion and Empowerment Coach and Speaker, the host of the podcast Free to Be with Lucca, and a Brand and Marketing Consultant.
My purpose in this lifetime is to help people discover, accept, love, and express their authenticity so they can fully experience the freedom to be themselves.
I believe the more we express what is honest, real, and true about ourselves, the more connected we are to joy and love, the more vibrant, free, and kind we are, and the more impact we can have on our families, friends, partners, co-workers, community, and the world.
I hid in the jail cell of my life for 22 years feeling like I had to choose between the things I loved to be enough. Being gay or Christian. Being masculine or feminine. Making my mom and family happy or making myself happy. Hiding was easier than going against the “perfect” way to be a man and the thought of being hurt or rejected by those who I loved the most.
On March 12, 2015, I chose me. I chose to liberate myself from who I was told I could be and accept who I was. This is the day I came out as a queer man. This marked the beginning of my journey to accepting and allowing all the unique and honest parts of me to co-exist. This marked the beginning of my journey to live authentically, my journey to live free to be me.
What I’m most grateful for is my ability to share my story to support our youth.
Two weeks ago, I spoke to 150 students at my alma mater high school Madera South in Central California and led a workshop titled “Creating the High School Experience You Really Want by Celebrating Diversity & Building Unity.”
It was a full circle moment.
Ever since I participated in my first speaking competition in 7th grade, I’ve wanted to be a speaker.
You know those things that you know that you know that you know are true about you. This was one of them for me. Being gay was another.
I didn’t know how this would become possible because I didn’t see many around me building a career for themselves as a speaker, and I continued to hold this vision for myself.
Flash forward 15 years later and this is my reality. Someone pinch me!
I am so damn thankful I didn’t give up on myself and my dream because I had the opportunity to do so plenty of times.
I’ll never forget the connections I made with these beautiful, resilient, passionate, and kind students. I saw myself in each of them. I vividly remember walking the hallways they’re walking today, excited, nervous, hopeful, scared of the unknown, and curious about myself and the world around me.
I want students (and you!) to know there is space for you to be 100% yourself and not only be accepted, but embraced, loved, and celebrated.
Your authenticity is the magic you seek and what the world is craving. Your uniqueness is a bright light this dark world is longing for.
There is only one person that can do what you can do in the exact way you do it. There is only one person that can share the message you have on your heart in the exact way you can speak it. There is only one person that can show up with your presence and inspire people the way you can. There is only one person with your human experience.
There are nearly 8 billion people in the world, and there is only 1 just like you. Your uniqueness is literally one of a kind. You are an original. You are not an imposter. You are not a fraud. Your unique presence matters. Your authenticity matters. No other human on the planet can shine your light like you. You are significant.
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
I was told I couldn’t make my dream a reality.
I was told the way to success was by following the path laid out for me.
I let the stories of doubt in my head take over.
I was laughed at and mocked. I was hurt.
There were many moments I was on my knees crying, praying, and hoping what I wanted was possible. There were many instances where I just wanted to give up on my dream.
I’m really thankful I didn’t.
Creating my business has been one heck of a process.
9 years ago, a big dream came to me. I knew deep in my heart I would be my own boss one day doing something I love that is authentic to me and impactful to others. At the time, did I know exactly what it would be? Heck no!
6 years ago, I began my freelance marketing and brand development journey.
4.5 years ago, I launched my podcast.
3.5 years ago, I began consulting and coaching full-time — working with entrepreneurs, leaders, coaches, and creatives, helping them create, launch and market their creative projects, businesses, and brands.
3 years ago, I started consistently leading talks and workshops for middle school, high school, and college students about how to accept and own their uniqueness and lead from authenticity to amplify their impact.
Today, I am the CEO and Founder of Lucca Petrucci Coaching, Consulting, Speaking!
Dreams come true with belief, passion, action, stamina, and patience. Lots of freaking patience.
Your dreams come true better than you can imagine.
9 years later, I can say this so confidently.
There is an important reason a dream is placed on your heart. You are meant to bring your dreams to life. Please never give up on what you want most.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
For over 20 years of my life, I was ruled by perfection. I was ruled by judgment, fear and worry. For over 20 years, I lost sight of my authenticity and the vulnerability that would allow me to just be as I am. For over 20 years, I hid in the closet because it seemed like the correct choice. Actually, it seemed like the only choice. How could I come out of the closet as an imperfect man and disappoint all those around me? Would I be rejected if I showed up as the honest and true me? Would I let my family, teachers, friends, and mentors down?
I did all I could to fit the perfection mold because this was what made everyone happy. I became the best people pleaser ever. It made me well liked. It got me all the praise. Perfect was the standard and anything else was bad or failing.
I made sure I always dotted my I’s and crossed my T’s. I thought about how others would view my words, actions, and way of being before I thought about how I view myself. I turned to others’ opinions as my truth and never saw my authenticity and uniqueness as being my truth. If someone loved me, I would feel happy and like I am enough. If someone disliked me or made fun of me, I immediately felt sad and that I had to do more and be more to please them. I had to be accepted by all because the “perfect” student, son, grandchild, professional, citizen, and human being was. I was told this was the path to living a happy, fulfilled, and successful life.
What a lie I was living.
Perfection told me that I would never be enough. It told me that I could always do better. It told me that one day, far down my life path, I would be happy. It told me that I always have to chase happiness. It paralyzed me, too. It would stifle my creativity. I would work on tasks and projects for hours and hours on end, beating myself up because what I was doing was not perfect.
Perfection made it impossible to see a future for myself. Perfection cut off possibilities for me. I love dreaming and envisioning my future. I really believe it’s one of my superpowers. Perfection took this power away from me. As a young adult dating a girl, it was impossible for me to see the perfect future that I was told a heterosexual masculine man has — a future with a wife and two children. I honestly thought I was going to die young because I could not use my imagination to envision this. Everytime I tried, I saw nothing. This made me sad. Perfection brought me to tears.
Perfection built a wall around my sexuality. Perfection locked my sexuality up. It told me that I can only do what is allowed and accepted in this small box.
Perfection also disconnected me from my professional and career wants, desires, and dreams. It disconnected me from my body, my intuition, and my connection to my higher being. It told me to be successful I have to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer that works 9-5, someone that works for the weekend and paid time off. It told me I have to get a good job right out of college with a high income, great benefits, and a reputation. It told me to save, save, save. It told me that it is vital for me to buy a home in my late 20’s/early 30s. If I did not check this list off in its entirety, I would be deemed as a failure with a capital F.
Perfection stressed me out. It made me anxious. It made me watch what I did, say and thought. It made me be countless things that I was not.
Over the past 5 years, I’ve been intentionally taking steps to release perfectionism and connect to my most authentic self, especially as I’ve been building my coaching, consulting, and speaking business.
What I now know is that perfection is a beautifully orchestrated lie. It’s not real. It’s not reality. It’s a shiny dangling carrot that is always out of reach. It’s an incorrect belief that has been passed down by generation after generation.
“Practice makes perfect. Be picture perfect. Perfection sells. Find the perfect job, perfect spouse, perfect house and you will live a perfect and happy life.”
I am learning to not strive for something that doesn’t exist. What is honest and real is authenticity, and it is something you and I can always connect to right now. I am learning to choose it more and more in everything I think, say, and do.
Authenticity inspires me to choose me — the messy, silly, fun, loving, creative, and blissful human I am at my core. It empowers me to create a life and business in my full brightness. It’s me saying yes to my unique gifts and expression, my vision, and my purpose.
By tapping into my authenticity, I am creating the life of my dreams — one that is original, vibrant and joyous.
Authenticity matters. I believe it’s the most important part in the living process and the creation process. To be able to know your truth, listen to it, be inspired by it, and take action from it to innovate something only you can create is a miracle. I believe it’s a miracle that we can all choose and create. This is how I created my business Lucca Petrucci Coaching, Consulting, Speaking.
I believe the true starting line is to look within — to spend time reflecting on what makes you feel original, alive, and fulfilled. Spending time to think about and listen for what makes you feel free — what makes you feel free to be 100% YOU.
Questions I reflect on weekly to continue to tap into my authenticity are:
– What do you really want in your life?
– How do you want to feel on the daily?
– When are you most fulfilled in life? How does this make you feel?
– When do you feel most alive?
– When do you find yourself smiling ear to ear?
Contact Info:
- Website: luccapetrucci.com
- Instagram: @lucca_petrucci
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/luccapetrucci/