We were lucky to catch up with Lucas Essman recently and have shared our conversation below.

Lucas, appreciate you joining us today. Has your work ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized?

This is such an intriguing question I think, and the answer is absolutely. I actually contemplated this a great deal last year, because it seems to happen more than I’d like honestly. There’s a few aspects as to why I think I get perceived differently than who I really am.

I usually feel mischaracterized, but I generally don’t let it affect me. I’ve always been different ever since childhood, for better or worse. I think a huge part of it is having ADHD along with some other comorbidities. While I do think it allows me to see the world from a different perspective, and allows me to think outside the box, at the end of the day, my brain is wired differently from neurotypical people, that’s going to naturally cause some people to “look at me sideways”. I think being different and not conforming generally comes with being misunderstood, no matter who you are or what you look like. Some call it a curse, some call it a blessing, but either way, it’s who I am and I’m not ashamed of it, nobody should be, it can be a beautiful gift if channeled the right way.

The other aspect of it would be the “lane” I’ve placed myself in. When you’re a model, especially a male model at that, you’re usually characterized as stupid unfortunately. I’ve even had some men I shouldn’t have been around tell me “I thought you were just going to be a dumb pretty boy, but you’re actually pretty cool”. While it is insulting, it doesn’t bother me like that anymore honestly. It’s a them problem at the end of the day.

Those that make judgmental assumptions about others purely based on their appearance or their interests, aren’t the people anybody should surround themselves with in the first place. In my opinion, it’s very ignorant as well, and shows a one dimensional view of the world in their eyes, I almost welcome it now in way, it helps me weed out who I don’t need around.

When you think about it though, it’s nothing new. Marilyn Monroe for example, was the poster child for this unfortunately. I don’t know why certain lanes in life are conflated with being dumb, but at the end of the day, It is a good thing to not understand it, it means you don’t judge people that way, you know? But with all that being said, I’ve worked hard on myself to get where I am. I’m not ashamed to be confident in myself. I think everybody should strive for that. Insecurity breeds a lot of maliciousness and unnecessary hate if you really think about it. At the end of the day, it’s all just noise you know? It’s up to you to tune it all out.

Lucas, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Well, for those who haven’t read about me before, I’d say I can be more or less a jack of all trades. Currently though, I am a freelance fashion model, in a sense a digital artist, with a passion for bringing awareness to certain causes that I’m passionate about.

The most prominent cause of these being that I think neurodivergent people are generally misunderstood or looked down upon, due to the difference in how they operate. I’ve experienced this since childhood; as have my friends who are neurodivergent as well, and when researched, it’s clear it’s a widespread problem in this world unfortunately.

I want to help create a future where it’s destigmatized, more understood, and in some senses, uplifted. I think I can accomplish this with just purely being my true self. With each achievement, or opinion I express, think it helps prove more and more that we do have value, as well as showing we possess really cool traits that can help you succeed, contrary to popular belief.

The idea that being diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, Dyslexia, OCD, etc makes you less than, or less likely to succeed is something I’ll always fight against, because it’s simply not true. Especially for kids who are diagnosed at a young age, I think it’s extremely harmful to their self worth. Some of the best & inspirational people I know have conditions that are heavily stigmatized in society. I want to be able to spread understanding, while also moving up in the world of fashion.

What sets me apart is truly my greatest strength. It gives me a deeper sense of feeling, and it allows me to Peice together outfits in ways I think others wouldn’t. I also think it assists in modeling aspects such as being creative with poses, how I envision a photoshoot and then making it come to life. It’s always so cool to bring to life what you see in your head, and a lot of thought and time goes into it; but it’s always worth it. It also allows me to essentially run an online business, and doing it all on my own. I love how fashion can be used to unleash what’s inside you, I think it’s extremely empowering.

When it comes to what I’d say I’m most proud of, it would be always being able to adapt, and persevere. Knowing what has to be done and forcing myself to do it, while working through a phenomenon called “executive dysfunction” that is a part of having ADHD. I’m always able to bounce back and do what I have to do to get where I want to be. I’ve amassed 22.5k on Instagram from a combination of hard work, authenticity with who I am and my thoughts, and my ability to design outfits & producing photos that could inspire ideas fashion wise.

Honestly, I’m sure a lot of people purely follow me because I’m conventionally attractive, but I don’t like to define myself with that. Pretty faces are a dime a dozen, but as Bradley Cooper’s character in the film “A star is born” said: “Look, talent comes everywhere. Everybody’s talented, f*cking everyone in this bar is talented at one thing or another. But having something to say and a way to say it so that people listen to it, that’s a whole other bag. And unless you get out and you try to do it, you’ll never know.”That quote has always stuck with me. That’s the main goal for me.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Resilience is definitely something I had to truly step into last year. I had a string of confusing, hurtful situations occur in the past, and these had set me back for a bit mentally if I’m honest. and I don’t say this to sound like a victim, because I’m not in the slightest. In fact, I think while these situations that put me in that mental space were unpleasant for some time, everything that happened was necessary. These new, more difficult situations and emotions made me a better man in the end, as corny as that probably sounds. I had to go experience those real life, harsh truth affirming situations to truly grow into who I’m supposed to be.

I had to learn to be able to see people for who they really are the first time, and it also helped me to see myself for who I really am, the good and the bad. That allowed me to better myself in a way I don’t think would’ve been possible without going out into the world; and truly going through these situations where I was the only one who could pull myself out. It’s sink or swim, and I decided I wasn’t gonna sink.

Fast forward to the current period in my life though, and I genuinely feel ready to go out and live life again, I feel renewed in a sense. It is so empowering, realizing all the work was worth it. Knowing that this time around, I’ll be going into the world with more knowledge about myself and everything else around me. I’m smarter, stronger, more self aware, and now, more independent because of it. Not to mention, I got my creativity and drive back, which has allowed me to be approached by a lot of brands that excite and inspire me, that want to work with me. And I only mention this because that personality and style that they appreciate about me, would’ve been hindered, and/or completely different if I didn’t go through what I did. I’d be a completely different person, and I definitely think I wouldn’t have had the desire to grow as much if there wasn’t that fire lit under me.

In fact, a few days ago I was thinking about it. I thought back to the person I was, habits wise, thought process wise, how I operated in the world, and it’s drastically different now. You never notice your progress until you think back to how it was. It’s a slow process filled with baby steps and looking at painful truths. I learned how powerful I can truly be, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

This question is so perfect for me right now in this phase of life honestly. I feel like that’s been the theme for myself, unlearning a lot of thought processes and ideas that were not serving me. I’m a firm believer that if your mental health isn’t in line, nothing in your life will be, or you won’t be able to appreciate any of it at the very least. That has led me on one of my most reflective journeys to date.

For a while, I think a big issue for me was caring about what others thought of me, or needing validation in some sense. I think this naturally could happen to anybody who had to face scrutiny as a child a lot. Whether it was from family, bullies at school, whatever it may have been, it leaves it’s mark on you, even if you weren’t fully aware of that, as I think I wasn’t just yet.

I had to unlearn the idea I had of what it meant when somebody else didn’t like me, or even if multiple people didn’t like me, and some have made that very evident. I think in the past, it would hurt my feelings more than I let on. It was exhausting, and honestly, incredibly unfair to myself, I wasn’t properly looking out for me. Eventually it reached a point where I found myself burnt out. A lot of things were going wrong because I couldn’t keep up with the impossible standard I had set for myself. And the cause of that was all purely in my head, nobody else was holding me to that standard except myself. I had to unlearn not being so hard on me, and in turn slowly learning to love and appreciate who I am, and what I brought to the table outside of the perfect image I would portray in the past. Aim for excellence, not perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist.

Excellence to me, is still striving to be 100% you, and keeping yourself disciplined and accountable, but also giving yourself grace. Remembering you’re only one person, balancing a-lot in this life. Especially in this time period, there is a-lot of societal tension, financial hardship, etc. some days you do just need to focus on self care. Look back on how far you have come on those days; instead of thinking how much further you have to go. I have found this can relieve a lot of pressure. When you can reflect on your journey and what’s already happened, you can see how many obstacles you have overcome, which tells you that you can by proxy, get through the ones ahead of you as well. It also gives you a sense of your own power again, and allows you to appreciate projects that maybe in the past, you never fully could.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucasessman/?hl=en
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luke.essman?mibextid=LQQJ4d
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/lucasessmann?s=21
• Other: Tiktok:https://www.tiktok.com/@lucasessman

Image Credits
Reesie Stills Instagram: @reesiestills [email protected]