We were lucky to catch up with Liva R.J. recently and have shared our conversation below.
Liva, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
I have been taking bold risks in the past, around two major themes: redefining my career a couple of times and moving countries with two suitcases on a hunch, for a total of 13 countries. What can I say, I am an insatiably curious soul. But the biggest risk I ever took is the one that led me to where I am today, both literally and figuratively. Six years ago, I made an offer on a 16th century farmhouse in France’s Loire Valley. In fact, at the time, after living in New York City, Miami, then Berlin, Germany, I moved to Lisbon, Portugal, where the vibe suited me better. I was planning to buy land there to build a house with reclaimed shipping containers and was browsing online for similar countrysides in Europe to figure out the budget. That’s when I stumbled upon the farmhouse. Gorgeous, derelict, complete with wells and its own traditional bread oven. Never mind that it had 8 buildings and that everything required restoration. I fell in love with the place just by looking at the ad. And when I went to the scheduled visit (they had no idea I had to fly in from a different country), I fell even harder for it. I could immediately envision a haven where I could unleash my creative self and, more importantly, where I could host creative and self-care retreats, or barn weddings, or art residencies. The works.
Anyway, it was a pipe dream. I mean, it was also in the Loire Valley, a UNESCO World Heritage site. Totally crazy.
But you know what, I always see things through, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to regret the “what if I had done this or that,” I’d rather go ahead and see where it takes me. So I made an offer, wayyyy below the asking price, thinking they’ll NEVER accept. But guess what, THEY DID!! I was as much elated as I was terrified of what awaited with the restoration work.
Let’s say, I have been living here since, I’ve called it La Ferme Dercé. I’ve been working on the residential part (which is the smallest part) mainly and also mainly on my own. I’ve learned so many crafts, acquired so many skills such as masonry, woodwork, mechanics… incredible. I’ve shifted to being 90% creative and only 10% intellectual (computer rat in marketing in the past when I took a break from coaching). I’ve started hosting 1:1 retreats for women and I’m slowly expanding to small groups to offer the most unique and tailored experience. In the process. I’ve come up along the way with an offer I have not seen anywhere else: on-demand retreat, leaving the people to choose their own dates, themes (selfcare + creativity / reading /writing / silent / karma) and co-attendees,
The restoration is a daily challenge, I have no idea yet how to raise enough funds to get all the buildings where I’d like them to be but truthfully, I do not regret a thing and I am so happy to live in this gorgeous corner of the world. I’m also in shock that I now have a super green thumb (part of the skills I acquired by doing) and am arranging my days according to the weather (no, seriously), ie the cycles of Nature.
I really encourage everyone to take the leap. The way appears if you let it, infinite possibilities are truly at your doorstep!
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
What people say about me is that they feel naturally at ease and safe to share and put down the heavy stories they carry around when talking to me. In social settings, it happens all the time, whether a dinner, a wedding, drinks, etc. People will naturally gravitate towards me and share very intimate things about them because they are in the knowing that it will never go anywhere else and that they are truly seen and heard. So that’s the two keywords: safety and ease. And that’s also why I do what I do: I have been a certified leadership coach for 17 years now, and my practice has evolved to reflect my own personal changes.
From a very formatted approach, I slowly incorporated teachings from my mentors around the world, adding gentleness, neuroscience, and a lot of intuition. I’m a survivor of childhood abuse, it’s something I rarely talk about, and the trauma has unleashed one of my greatest gifts: that of intuition. I turned hypervigilance into something soft and useful, since I can read a room, a person, a group without even necessarily knowing them. Picking up on people’s vibes is a unique tool that I leverage to offer my clients the most personalized support possible, without being intrusive. And it’s something they really appreciate too. Let’s call it deep presence.
Given that I now live in the French countryside, I work remote via video calls (not to name any platforms, I am platform agnostic) and my goal is to guide my clients towards inner stability, peace and groundedness so they can tap into their energy to be the best versions of themselves, both at work and in life. When you aren’t grounded and you are in inner turmoil or disconnection, your energy is squandered to unconsciously try to balance itself out. It’s a waste of your time and energy when you could be using and directing it towards doing meaningful work, building genuine connections and taking assured action towards your life goals, your dreams (remember, my pipe dream? That).
My signature coaching offer is a year-long program called Journey To Inner Peace. I also offer accountability coaching, both 1:1 and for groups. And if you’re still unsure, I have digital downloads to help you, and you can do them at your own pace or you can also hire me to walk you through them. There is something for every level of curiosity but they all require true commitment. All of the offers have their corporate version too, but companies have one extra option: that of office hours, remote or on-site.
And finally, I have added one extra, fun, layer: I host retreats, both 1:1 and in groups (12 people maximum, it’s like the difference between mass tourism and conscious exploration, and by the way, my brand is called SoulXplorers). The retreats are also available as corporate offers. I am incorporating what I have experienced first hand when moving to the Loire Valley and launching into the restoration of the farmhouse: get out of our brains and let the hands regulate our nervous systems by becoming makers, let’s create, together. It’s a powerful lever for motivation, personal alignment, executive function, connection and, for corporate retreats, leadership.
Aside from a yearly women’s retreat-meets-luxury-summer-camp, I have put together the very first (I honestly haven’t seen this offer anywhere else) on-demand retreat. The idea is that if someone wants to go for a retreat, they don’t have to go search for one that matches their availability dates-wise. They don’t have to wonder if the retreat is a go because all of them require a minimum number of attendees. How it works is: you choose your date, you contact me, we agree on your retreat theme. Selfcare is the base, then add creativity / craft (including specialized artisanry) / silent / reading / writing/ or karma (helping with the restoration and acquiring new skills). You then decide if you want to bring in your own crew (BFFs, sister, cousin, mom, you name it) or if you want me to share the dates to the community so you can meet new people. In any case, whether a group forms or you are alone, the retreat will go ahead. Meaning, it can be a 1:1, super high end! Now for another feature I’m really proud of: the fees are the same, it’s one fee per person, whether you are on a 1:1 or in a small group, and the fee is frankly very, very affordable, on purpose. I want to be able to serve more people, to bring more peace and connection to this world, one nervous system at a time, especially in these difficult times.
People who come for retreats don’t have to worry about anything but get to the closest train station where I’ll personally pick them up and drop them off on departure day. I have external facilitators coming in for sound baths, gentle yoga, qigong, and I’ve partnered up with a Doctor of Ostepathy (D.O) who gives a full personalized treatment to all attendees so they can start the retreat aligned, body and mind.
I crafted something that I have been wanting to find for myself. Something affordable, steeped in calm, joy, authentic connection and creation. Something where I would feel like I am coming home to myself. And because it’s in one of France’s most gorgeous regions, it also includes local cultural immersion (visits of chateaux and landmarks; cooking, etc)
One last thing, actually three: these retreats are women only if 1:1 or 1:2 but can be co-ed from 3 people onwards; They are analog, ie offline, and alcohol free. These insure genuine connection and mental rest. It works: once attendees are here, they don’t want to be connected anymore and just use their phones to take pictures. Some even come with real cameras, which I love and highly recommend everyone to do.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
Although really shy and even timid as a child, I’ve always been outspoken once I hit my 20s. Yet, with childhood conditioning born from abusive upbringing (life had it that I lived with family members, not my parents, in my formative years, 4-8), I have learned a priceless skill I always was proud of: that of being super adaptable and fitting in everywhere. It really was an amazing “unfair advantage” when I moved countries, and it’s probably the one factor that allowed me to live in as many as 13. The motivation, though, was – and still is – a genuinely deep curiosity for the other, probably also fuelled by a visceral need for connection, which I had so sorely lacked in the early years.
This was fabulous to a certain point, until I realized it no longer served me. Being a chameleon also meant that I could easily melt into the background and not be seen or heard. Once in my 40s (I just stepped into my 5th decade a year ago, I can hardly believe it myself), it no longer made sense. I had to unlearn to erase myself. It’s not about people pleasing because I always was my own person, so to speak, but it’s about embracing ways of life that no longer aligned with who I really was. For instance, I was known in the tech industry from NYC to San Francisco, as a super hustler. Whatever needed to be done or achieved, I would get to it and get it done, no doubt about it, even if the goals were as crazy as getting celebrities to endorse a brand. Solution oriented. I still am, except, sans the hustle. I had to unlearn that way of being that didn’t leave room for myself anymore and was eating me alive.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
My first love was journalism. I used to work for Bloomberg News, then TV, then I left for a unit of the Financial Times, which sent me to work all over Europe wherever there was a stock market, to the World Economic Forum in Davos, as well as Asia. I loved it. I still love writing, and my critical thinking skills as well as investigative approach are still here, alive and kicking. But in 2001, our offices were in the World Trade Center, and we all know what happened on 9/11. I was delayed in the subway and then found myself under the second impact, on the Plaza. Shock. Trauma revival. We were sent back to London to work the earnings season from the global HQ there. Something broke. Aside from the fact that I had lost 80% of my breathing capacities (I was on so much medication, they were my only option), something inside was broken and I knew I wanted something else. I wanted to be part of the action, I felt I had explored the facets of covering the action and wanted in the action. What I call my land of the ancestors, where I was born, Madagascar, had just undergone a massive shift from a dictatorship to a democratically-elected president and I was daydreaming about helping the country out of the terrible poverty situation it was in. I guess my manifestation worked because *they* called me. I was interviewed for a job at the Paris embassy but with my track record (I had bylines in exclusive interviews with leaders during two World Economic Forums) had me catapulted to head international communications for the office of the President. Thus began my career as a diplomat. I left five years later, no longer aligning with my then boss. I’m so glad I did, look where I am now.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://soulxplorers.com/soulfulflow
- Instagram: @liv.alive ; @lafermederce ; @wearesoulxplorers
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/itsliva
- Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/liva
- Other: https://livarj.com
