We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lisa Sugarman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lisa below.

Lisa, appreciate you joining us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

Since I can remember being old enough to hold a pen, I’ve always been a writer. And it’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. I found early on that I was best at expressing myself through words. So that’s what I did, starting as far back as I can remember.

I’ve always written about what I know, and for the longest time, what I knew best was being a parent. That’s why, for well over a decade after my daughters were born, I wrote content that focused on raising kids, maintaining the work/life balance, and family life as a whole. It was my sweet spot, so all of my books, columns, and magazine articles centered around my life as a mom. Then, about eleven years ago, I discovered that my father, who I lost to a heart attack when I was only ten years old, had actually died by suicide, and that revelation blew me apart. Because it meant that I had to grieve his death all over again, for the second time, and through a completely different lens.

In a matter of seconds, I’d become a suicide loss survivor and the narrative I’d lived with for 35 years surrounding my father’s death had been completely rewritten.

This was the defining moment in my career that changed the trajectory of my professional life forever. It was at this point when I knew I needed to shift my focus from parenting to suicide awareness and prevention to help break apart the stigma that’s attached to mental illness and suicide. So, I began sharing my survivor story as a way of helping to normalize conversations about suicide and loss through my own lived experience. And the more I shared, the more people responded to my story in ways I never expected. People wanted to learn how I coped with my father’s suicide, how I grieved such a nuanced kind of loss, and how I learned to allow grief and joy to co-exist after so much loss.

I began storytelling as a way of reaching people on a grassroots level and I became a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project to be a lifeline for LGBTQ+ youth in crisis. And I shifted the content of all of my professional work to center around mental wellness. And I never looked back.

Lisa, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Eleven years ago, I discovered a secret that altered the narrative of my childhood, changed the way I looked at mental illness, and changed the trajectory of my life forever.

I learned that my dad Jim, who I was told had died of a heart attack when I was 10 years old, had actually died by suicide. And that bombshell blew me apart.

I felt lost and broken and like everything I’d believed to be true about my father and our life together had been a lie. I couldn’t comprehend how someone I’d known to be so strong and joyful and present had also been so broken. And it took me years to understand that my father could, in fact, be all those things at once without anyone knowing.

But then something unexpected happened. When I put the pieces of my history back together, I found a new sense of purpose and resolve to turn my pain into something meaningful. Because now, I was a suicide loss survivor, and I was committed to sharing my lived experience and my story as a way of helping others to change the narrative on mental illness.

I discovered a new mission and dedicated myself to talking openly about the things that we’re all taught not to talk about, like suicide and grief and loss. I became dedicated to stopping the stigma of suicide one conversation at a time. And in doing that work, it also became important to me to create a place where people could find the resources, support, and guidance they need to navigate whatever mental health crisis they’re facing.

So, today, I’m a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, a survivor of suicide loss grief group facilitator with Samaritans, a storyteller with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and a mental health advocate. I’m also the architect behind The HelpHUB.co, THE destination for mental health resources, tools, crisis hotlines & content to help support your mental health and wellbeing, whatever community you’re in.

Now, I curate one of the largest and most inclusive online directories of mental health resources on the internet, offering resources for 16 different communities all under one virtual roof. There, you’ll find:

* AAPI Resources
* BIPOC Resources
* Canadian Resources
* Children & Teens Resources
* Crisis Support Resources
* Elderly Resources
* Government Resources
* Grief & Loss Resources
* International Resources
* Latinx Resources
* LGBTQ+ Resources
* Mindfulness Resources
* Online Mental Health Resources
* People With Disabilities Resources
* Suicide & Mental Health Resources
* Tools & content
* Veterans Resources

The HelpHUB™ recognizes and honors the things that make us all unique by tailoring resources accordingly so that everyone has the individualized help they need when they need it most with the goal of making life-saving resources only a single click away. And it’s been the creation of this life-saving platform that’s become my proudest achievement as a mental health advocate because it’s my way of making an impact on the mental health crisis by ensuring that no one else has to make the same decision to end their life that my father made over 45 years ago. Now, people know they’re not alone and that help is out there.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

As a mental health advocate with a strong focus on suicide awareness and prevention, one of the most powerful beliefs that I unearned and relearned early on was the belief that suicide is a selfish act. Because prior to losing my father to suicide, I’d always had the core belief that making the decision to end your life was a self-centered, no matter the reason. After learning that my father had been depressed and suffering from mental illness, I had an awakening. I began to understand that people who suffer with mental illness are suffering from an illness in the same way that someone who navigates cancer or heart disease is sick. And it became clear to me that society would never stigmatize someone who was terminally ill with an incurable disease or who someone who lost their life in a car crash the way we do when someone makes the conscious decision to end their life. And this knowing changed me to my core. It also crystalized the realization that those who suffer from mental illness shouldn’t be stigmatized. Because when someone is suffering from depression, that depression hijacks their mind and manipulates their ability to think rationally and make sound decisions. What I realized was that the person suffering from mental illness isn’t choosing suicide to escape their family or their life, they’re just trying to escape their pain and to them, suicide is the only way to find peace. And this is why I’ve rededicated my life to stopping the stigma attached to suicide and mental illness.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

At age ten, I lost my father to a massive heart attack. Forty-five years later, at age 45, I learned the devastating truth that my father had actually died by suicide. And this truth shattered me to my core and ultimately changed the course of my life and work forever.

This was the second suicide my family had endured, losing a cousin to mental illness only a year before my father’s death.

And in the spring of 2021, one of my closest childhood friends took his life suddenly and with no warning, making me a three-time survivor of suicide loss.

I found myself at a crossroads. I could either allow these traumatic losses to derail me or I could use them to fuel my ambition to change the narrative on suicide and what it means to be mentally ill. And I chose the latter. I became a passionate mental health advocate, sharing my lived experience navigating the nuances of suicide loss so that others could draw strength and clarity from my experience. I became a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, the largest crisis & suicide support hotline for at-risk LGBTQ+ youth ages 13-24 in the US, a storyteller with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), a survivors of suicide loss grief group facilitator with Samaritans, and a mental health content creator, giving hope to those who feel lost and alone. And I founded TheHelpHUB.co, the most comprehensive online platform for mental health resources, tools, content, and hotlines to help people in every community manage every aspect of their mental and emotional wellness. I chose to be resilient so that others could see that it is possible to find a path forward when we’re not ok.

Contact Info:

• Website: lisasugarman@hotmail.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/thehelphub.co
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/thelisasugarman
• Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/lisa-sugarman-she-her-hers-16925b69/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/thelisasugarman
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@thehelphubonyoutube
• Other: https://tiktok.com/thehelphubontiktok

Image Credits

I own the rights to these photos.