We were lucky to catch up with Lisa Michelle Zega recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Lisa Michelle thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Can you talk to us about serving the underserved.

I work with the underserved in various capacities. First, I help individuals who are processing grief that comes in several forms. Death. Absolutely. And also grief that lives in the gap between what was hoped for and needed and what was actually received. Why would I call the grieving the underserved? Because our culture dismisses grief to a large degree and is even grief phobic.

That relates to the work Legit You does with organizations too. We get to work with individuals who have unstable housing and could easily end up couch surfing or on the street and want to re-enter the workforce. Many of those we work with have experienced long term incarceration and are trying to figure out how to make it outside of prison.

Recently I got to share four days with 13 Fabulous humans, 12 men and 1 woman, who filled my heart overflowing with wisdom and insight.

Each person shared how they felt seen, heard and loved because nobody was there trying to fix, advise, or save them. We were there as fellow humans, and they opened up to us in ways that invited us into deep places of their story. I learned so much.

I sat with one man and he was so incredibly wise like some shaman or Buddhist or, seasoned pastor. I just wanted to be in his presence and learn from him. I asked him, “What helped you become this man of wisdom?” and he answered, “Years of solitude where I imagined, dreamed, and listened to myself”. He connected with his inner self and inner wisdom.

One woman asked me to play a particular song. I thought she just wanted to hear it, but she came to the front of the room and sang for us. She sang with her whole body and heart, as she allowed herself to bend and break, surrendering to her message. She was so brave. And it wasn’t like a singer’s performance with the talent of singing. It was like a raw human expressing herself freely. It was powerful. Every one of us was changed by her courage. She allowed me to access the part of myself that was like, “I can’t dance and I don’t want to be seen in my awkwardness”. She gave me a level of freedom.

We were just deeply and richly together, sharing our humanity. One guy told us that as part of their transitional housing program they are required to attend five hours of groups every single day and his experience with us was more powerful than months of group therapy. He called it a non therapeutic healing group.

I think it’s because perhaps grief really does heal. Attuning to my grief has had this profound snowball effect so that how I am with myself and my pain, I am with you and your pain. When I am compassionate in my heart I am compassionate out there in your heart. And now my own personal journey feels like grief is calling me to a higher impact in our world than I have ever imagined for myself. It feels like a sacred obligation and I don’t know what that means. I just
sense that in is important to tap the root of grief in order to bring to light wounding buried in ourselves and in our societies that need love and healing.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Until I named the threads of grief and love that weave my story, I felt disconnected, strewn from Texas to Germany, New Jersey to California, school to school, father to father, boy to boy, job to job. Forever moving from someone or something and onto someone or something new. Like trash scattered from place to place, person to person, experience to experience. Discarded. And over the years many came to me for support and guidance. I led primarily with my intellect, not yet knowing how to listen to my heart and body. I ended a marriage after 23 years and my grown boys stopped talking to me, which busted open my heart. Until then I just moved on from loss, pushing away heartbreak.
Later, I got engaged and lost my fiancé to a motorcycle accident just five months before our wedding day. By then I was beginning to understand grief as love – a thread that connects us to ourselves and one another.
When Chip died, grief took my hand, again to guide me to the depths of my pain so I could learn to grieve. I must learn how to grieve in order to love because it is impossible to live and keep my heart from experiencing loss.
As an apprentice of grief, I get to guide others to metabolize suffering. All of us suffer and grief teaches us how to heal in community. To treat ourselves and one another with kindness and respect, listen with compassion and curiosity, honor unique ways to heal and release the compulsion to advise, fix, or save one another.
Grief lets us know the places of pain hold sacred stories that must be witnessed and loved. We all experience loss, so normalizing pain and creating communities that invite our grief to receive love is the mission of Legit You.
We are wounded in and healed in relationships.

Folks work with me one to one and in groups. Grief work informs all that I do in organizations and why I believe people experience the work as therapeutic, though we don’t do ‘therapy’.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I lived the majority of my life without identifying, tending to, or loving my pain, which of course led to more pain. A snapshot of my life – I’ve had 5 stepdads, never met my bio dad and was disowned by the father who adopted me at 16. I lost a grandpa to suicide, buried my 17 year old sister when I was 21. I ended a marriage after 23 years and my grown boys stopped talking to me for 5 or more years. My fiancé died 5 months before our wedding. Of course there were many highs along the way. I embrace a both-and life, which grief and love exemplify. I needed to unlearn an either or mentality, and embrace compassion for earlier versions of myself for shame to dissolve. There was a time that shame was a prison and kept my life very small.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

My personal history influences and motivates my calling. I divorced after 23 years of marriage and was alienated from my boys for nearly 5 years. When I left, all I had were my clothes and an old car. Since I had worked for the family business, I left without employment. My only work was volunteering at a school & an organization that served homeless individuals.

My situation was different from those in the shelter because I had resources like supportive friends, good health, and strong reading, writing, and communication skills. And, though it was a tremendously painful season, I had hope that it would not define my future.

I ended up working for the organization mentioned above, by helping those without homes. How I became the Employment Director feels miraculous. I later began facilitating training to help us put people first… in all our work.

Two years later I buried my fiancé, months before our wedding day.

All these experiences continue to shape me and my business today.

I facilitate training that is healing for the individual and the whole organism. I envision that as our understanding of suffering and poverty is transformed, we will recognize all the areas of strength and resources we can bring together to serve one another. Building on our existing spiritual, mental, emotional, relational, physical, resilient, and financial wealth, we can uplift humanity and bring wholeness to our communities.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.legityou.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisamichelle.legityou/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/legityou
• Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-heals/id1714257203

Image Credits
Lisa Michelle