We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Lindsey Bonadonna a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Lindsey, thanks for joining us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.
One of the biggest risks I’ve ever taken is when I decided to blow up my life, and learn to love myself more deeply than I ever had before.
Flashback to July 2019, it was about 2 am in the morning when I woke up with a start, sat bolt upright, and thought, this is NOT what life or marriage is supposed to feel like! There has GOT to be more, I KNOW there is more!
Let’s take it back a bit more. It’s a few months earlier and I am sick AF, like REAL SICK, like in the hospital twice in one week and nothing is working kind of sick. The previous year, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Sjorgren’s syndrome and because I’m a big believer in doing the work to heal our bodies through healthier choices BEFORE diving into the big time meds, I set out on a journey to do just that.
That year, I was also appointed as the CEO of my now-ex-husband’s company (I was a BFD right!? I even had bright red lipstick), determined to right the ship AND my health all while making sure my kids were thriving and not turning into jerks.
And I failed ya’ll…I failed BIG.
I just kept trying to power through and didn’t ask for help soon enough.
I was so determined to fix and do EVERYTHING, I kept de-prioritizing my health in favor of trying to save the company until that fateful week when I couldn’t get out of bed, no matter how hard I tried. (Sound familiar at all? Perhaps substitute out company for family, kids, partner, work, school, etc.)
That rock bottom week was pivotal for me. Someone close to me said “Hey, I don’t think what you’re doing is working (I was basically living on a diet of french fries and other quick-grab foods). You need to consider meds because I don’t want to be wheeling you around in a wheelchair in 10 years”.
Wait, what?! Up until that point, it never occurred to me the long-term damage I was doing to my body during what I thought was a short-term hustle. I remember often thinking, if I *just* could fix the business, THEN I’ll work on myself, THEN everything will be ok ::smack my head::
Needless to say, many areas of my life were feeling completely out of alignment by this point. When my health crisis forced me to slow down, I began to hear this quiet nudging from my heart that kept encouraging me to pause and get curious about what WOULD feel in alignment and more nourishing for me.
The answers I was coming up with scared the living you-know-what out of me because it meant, for the first time, I had to trust completely in the yet-to-be-see and the unseen (Bless up for God/the Universe), bet completely on my deepest inner knowing and trust that prioritizing myself would not be the selfish act I was conditioned to believe, but the most selfless act I could take.
So I did it, first, I asked for help. I began seeing a kick-ass Health Coach, removed gluten and dairy from my lifestyle (except for the occasional beer or slice of cake), discovered my superpower through an amazing mastermind course, and worked hard to break through the discomfort of putting myself first.
I was amazed how so much started to fall in place just by doing this. I had more energy, I was physically feeling better, I wasn’t as bitchy, and I started to get addicted to feeling good and curious about what else I could do to make my life and the lives of those around me better.
Next, I decided to end my marriage, because ultimately, we were holding each other back and make way better co-parents than husband and wife.
Shortly after that, I left the company I was working for, found the work I’m pretty sure I was born to do, got my coaching certifications through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition as well as my 300-hour yoga teacher certification, and launched my business, Kale and Cake Wellness by Lindsey Bonadonna, in November of 2020.
Through all of this, I realized 2 things, when we take time to slow down (choosing to is always better than being forced to when a health crisis comes along, BTW), get curious (not judgemental) about ourselves, and take time to learn how to love ourselves better, the most incredible, unexpected things unfold. It can also feel scary AF because, as I reflect back on the last 41 years of my life, I realize that loving ourselves isn’t something our country does a great job of teaching us how to do. We’re conditioned to believe we are never enough unless we sacrifice ourselves, our time, what we love, and “hustle hard”, so ya, it would feel REALLY uncomfy and scary to go against the grain. However, I can tell you this…YOU are worth it, YOUR life is worth is, and it just so happens, that everyone else gets to benefit when we take the time to learn to love ourselves more and love ourselves through all the challenges and celebrations. Keep going ; )
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
My name is Lindsey Bonadonna, encourager, optimist, life + health coach, yoga teacher, and owner of Kale and Cake Wellness! I DEEPLY believe that a vibrant, wellness-filled life DOES NOT have to involve restriction and doesn’t have to feel like ONE MORE THING to do!
I love helping caregivers live fuller, healthier, vibrant lives through exploring ALL aspects of their life and health, while helping to cultivate simple, sustainable fun-size habits through customized, 1-1 coaching, so that they can continue to make a meaningful impact in themselves, their loved ones, and the world, for generations to come.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
A lesson I’ve had to unlearn is that my intuition is NOT a valid tool for guidance, and what I have learned is that my intuition is actually *the* most valuable tool for guidance in my business and life!
I’ve always been someone who has learned to look externally for validation up until about 3 years ago, when I realized that, when I look at the facts, I absolutely do know what I’m doing and everything works out best when I follow my gut and my heart versus when I second guess myself and let doubt lead my decision making.
I am someone who loves to gather a variety of perspectives and deeply enjoys collaboration, however, the shift that has happened is that before, I would allow these activities to make my decision for me, whereas now, I take everything in, sit with the info, and then tune in to my inner knowing and go with that. I then take time to notice how things work out, how I feel, and have noticed that every time when I go against my intuition, things always feel harder. In fact, I’ve started to joke with myself and say “how many times do you need proof to stop going against what you deeply know is true”.
Worst case, if something doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be, and if it does, it was, and the more time I take to notice that, the stronger my confidence in following my gut and heart becomes!
How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?
Being authentically me, and showing up consistently for myself and others has *for sure* been one of the key pieces in building my positive reputation within my market.
In this day and age that is filled with a lot of imposter syndrome, I’d like to think that the more I can lean into being myself (even when it is messy and REALLY real), the more I invite others to do the same. At the end of the day, life is too short to be someone you weren’t born to be and because I encourage people in my work to be themselves, it is important I walk the walk too : )
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lindseybonadonna.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindseyloveswellness/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lindseyloveswellness
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindseyloveswellness/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJvOBgc8SPSCrDrgR7TrHyg
Image Credits
Photographer: Jeremy Kramer https://www.jeremykramerphoto.com/