We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Linda Fisk a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Linda thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s one of the most important lessons you learned in school?
It started when I was a very young child. I was considered to be clinically shy, unable to hold eye contact with any strangers, even when parents urged me to look at someone in the eye, shake their hand and say hello. Over time, I developed a penchant for whispering my words at an uneven rate of speech and repeating my words with a pronounced stutter. Social settings and high-stress environments made it nearly impossible to speak, as I became more and more self-conscious, and the tension in my voice made it more and more difficult to utter a word. Over time, my frustration with my attempts to communicate led to a hesitation or a prolonged pause before starting to speak, and by the time I could utter a word, the conversation had moved on. Over time, it was simply easier to remain quiet, and by the time I was in high school, I had the nickname “Mouse” because I was “quiet as a mouse.”. This hidden type of stuttering developed as I consciously avoided words, sounds or situations that may involve a struggle. I hid my problem from most other people because I developed a behavioral pattern and coping mechanism that kept me vigilant at all times.
I remember in grade school, my father visited all my teachers prior to the start of the new school year, asking them to be sensitive to the fact I was clinically shy, with a pronounced speech impediment, and to never call on me in the classroom. He demanded that the teachers agree to refrain from ever asking me to solve a problem on the chalkboard, or face the class for a presentation, or in any other way further damage my already-fragile self-esteem. The emotional injuries from my struggle with stuttering became invisible disabilities that further isolated me and made me feel more and more insignificant. I had tried monitoring my rate of speech, my breath support and laryngeal tension, but to little effect. The words seemed to get stuck, or I was repeating those words over and over – to the exasperation of the listener. Interestingly, I found that my vocal cords tended to lock up due to stress and the speech patterns that followed include repetitions, interruptions and prolongations of words, sounds, or syllables. But, if I was in a safe space, with one or two close friends or family members, and very little stress and anxiety, sometimes my speech was quite normal. As I look back on my father’s instructions to my teachers, I can see that his love for me guided his decision to protect me from further social anxiety and emotional injury, but I also wonder if I would have found a path to overcome my clinical shyness and speech impediments earlier, had I not been spared in my early years.
By the time I was in college, I knew that I needed to find a way to effectively manage my stuttering in order to have the life I envisioned for myself. By then, I knew I wanted to work in advertising and marketing, because after years of observing, listening, and studying people, I had an innate sense of how people seemed to be motivated, what seemed to guide decisions, what persuaded people to make certain choices. After years of being quiet and reserved, watching the behaviors of my classmates, I noticed which popular classmates seemed to be most admired, respected, charismatic and well-liked – and why. I began to see how these classmates influenced and inspired others and how they persuaded people to make various choices. I was fascinated by the key motivations that seemed to drive actions and the common needs and desires that these persuasive peers of mine seemed to tap into. I also knew by then that I was a gifted artist and writer, having won several national competitions. I thought that these were necessary skills in advertising that might position me for success.
But, I also knew that a career in advertising and marketing meant being able to be present ideas, be persuasive and convincing – and develop trusting relationships with people. I could see this fictional version of myself, as a successful advertising executive, standing in front of a board room and presenting the brilliant new marketing campaign to the delight of the audience. In my mind’s eye, I was confident, charming and I captivated the audience with my presence and my words. I could see this alternative version of myself as sharp, savvy and yet approachable, with a keen understanding of how to persuade others. I thought that practicing and really focusing on overcoming this debilitating speech defect would be the key to becoming this other version of me.
And, although it took four years, dozens of public speaking classes, speech therapy and counseling, I graduated college having competed in several public speaking contests and winning four competitions. From that first public speaking course when I fainted in front of a classroom of 25 fellow students, to graduation when I could present to an auditorium of 500 people, was a case study in both grit and grace. Grit was evident in my resolve and my stamina to reach a seemingly impossible goal based on achieving the life I envisioned for myself. And, grace was needed along the journey to accept my limitations, my slow progress and my setbacks.
After graduation, I went back to my undergraduate university, and visited the professor that picked me off the floor after passing out in her classroom. “I’ll never forget that afternoon. I had never witnessed such a dramatic way of getting out of giving a speech!” she laughed. “But, you came back for the second class, and the third and the fourth. I don’t think it became easier for you that first semester, but you were determined. I have never seen such tenacity,” she said.
Because of my passion to achieve a long-term objective, to create a life that I envisioned for myself, I was absolute in my perseverance of effort – even when that effort led to painful, embarrassing or humbling experiences. I had the kind of mental toughness that is often described as “grit.” Angela Duckworth, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania, suggests that grit can be defined as the ability to achieve one’s long-term plans despite significant challenges and obstacles – and it’s a strong predictor of success. She defines grit as the combination of resilience and self-control in the pursuit of goals that may take months, years, or even decades. Duckworth’s studies revealed that contenders in the National Spelling Bee defeat their peers not because of IQ, but because of their grit – their commitment to more consistent practice.
Here are the component parts of grit:
1. Mental Toughness
In every area of growth, from your education to your career to athletic training, it’s your level of mental toughness and determination that accurately predicts your level of achievement. Grit is a more reliable and accurate indicator of future success than any other determinant. Having grit is important because it becomes a driver of achievement and success – well beyond what skill and knowledge provide. If you are dedicated to achieving a clear long-term goal, and steadfast in your pursuit, undeterred by the sacrifices required, that is mental toughness and grit.
2. Perseverance
We may have the talent, abilities, and expertise to achieve greatness, but without the determination, resilience and perseverance, success will be elusive. The good news is that grit can be taught and developed over time – with practice. By adopting a growth mindset, and developing the ability to persevere, you can see dramatic gains in achievement. Having the tenacity to pursue a goal, knowing that you have the ability to improve over time, allows for the kind of stamina needed to achieve a long-term goal. The key is to recognize that your natural talents, intelligence and giftedness is simply unmet potential, but with the application of persistent practice, you can achieve higher and higher levels of achievement and success.
3. Character
It’s important to develop your own set of values that you will use during your journey to achieving your goals. For instance, a value you might set for yourself is resiliency. If you embrace the idea that setback, pitfalls and adversity are part of the journey of growth, you can maintain your efforts, cultivating a sense of resiliency. Adopting resiliency as a value allows you to get back up, course correct and push forward. By developing the characteristics that you need to reach success, such as self- control, resilience, and determination, you can overcome any challenge. In Duckworth’s research, grit is able to predict how many salespeople will most likely sell more products, how many cadets will not drop out, how many students will do well in a spelling bee or how many students will finish college or university. The key is not to let the challenges in life, or the setbacks, define who you are and what your value is to the world.
And, while I am convinced that incorporating the tenants of grit into your approach, when tackling any worthy pursuit, is a fundamental key to success – it is equally important to embrace the concept of grace. In this definition of grace, I am referring to your ability to push towards excellence, leaving room for failure. To really unpack this concept of grace, you first have to know, and accept, your own shortcomings and failures. You have to deeply understand the consistent themes, embedded in your past and woven throughout your life’s story, because they are the keys to your purpose, and your future. You have to understand your limitations, your mistakes, your shortcomings and your failures – and really examine those recurring issues in your life. Carefully examining your past, especially your failures, is essential to knowing your value.
True grace recognizes that lessons are often learned through experiencing the result of a failure, a bad decision or a mistake – and learning from it. Grace does not remove consequences or attempt to protect you from your bad decisions, but rather allows for the recognition of the mistake, the forgiveness of the failure and the resilience to incorporate the learning into our forward progress. Grace is embodied; it is an attitude, a characteristic and a belief – and as such, it has a contagious effect on others, including your team and your company.
But, grace starts with you. It starts by clearly understanding your life story, including your consistent themes, and then making the conscious decision to push towards excellence, leaving room for failure. You know your value because failure does not define you – in fact, failures are the very building blocks that make you stronger and even more valuable. Through grace, you can begin thinking positively of yourself, even though you will inevitably fall short of your expectations for yourself. When that occurs, make amends to those you hurt and at the same time, forgive yourself. You can and will do better, if you allow yourself to. This gives you the ability to push other people towards success, while also allowing them to make mistakes. After all, people allowed us to learn some of our greatest lessons through failure.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
LeadHERship Global is a confidential and supportive community designed to accelerate success of each member by integrating self-directed learning, impactful group experiences, peer advisory services and expert-led coaching and mentoring. The purpose of LeadHERship Global is to create and support personal and professional breakthroughs and guide women to achieving greater leverage and freedom in their careers and businesses. We provide a global community of world class, women thought leaders and experts brought together to collaborate and facilitate extraordinary success for each other.
We help members accelerate their success by defining their vision, growing their leadership, expanding their influence and leaving a lasting legacy. We do that by harnessing the knowledge, influence and trust of high-performing women to stimulate idea exchange, support creativity, provide resources and tools and accelerate personal and professional growth. Members are able to meet other inspirational leaders, create lifelong friendships, and be surrounded by people that are invested in your success. As a member, you are inspired and motivated by other women leaders who will cheer, council and support you to greater levels of success and impact.
What LeadHERship Global Offers:
• A safe and trusted environment to learn, share, discover and grow
• Innovative and effective business and career-enhancing techniques
• The inspiration you need to tackle the issues and problems holding you back
• A team to help you create new strategies and opportunities
• Authentic networking and connection that accelerates your success
• New business ideas and growth initiatives to help scale your business
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
As a woman, I was taught to be an active listener, an astute observer, but that its always much more appropriate for women to be a bit more reserved and humble than most men. I was told that it was distasteful to draw attention to yourself, and it wasn’t polite to talk about your successes, your achievements and accomplishments. That it was always preferred for women, even women in leadership, to observe, listen, learn – and be a bit more reserved, quiet and unassuming that their male colleagues.
It can be very difficult for women to acknowledge the importance of networking, visibility and self-promotion, as aspects of leadership. However, when you understand the link between networking to increase your visibility and your greater leadership purpose — it can open up opportunities for positive change and progress. No one grows as a leader, to become truly significant, without the support from others. So, I learned to be visible, to build relationships, to use my voice, and to be confident in my achievements.
While I still believe that being a lifetime learner, being a humble leader, being an active listener, and learning to be still in order to learn from others are all critical to success, I also believe it’s appropriate to be confident in who you are, what you represent and the abundance in your life. And, I believe it is more important than ever to be intentional about seeking out, investing in and forming the kind of genuine and strategic relationships we need, as women in leadership, to thrive both personally and professionally.
Do you have any insights you can share related to maintaining high team morale?
Creating a high-performing team takes more than simply hiring the right people and arming them with the right tools to do their work. It requires creating opportunities for genuine, authentic relationships to develop. And, it’s well documented that authenticity contributes to workplace well-being and individual performance – and it lifts team performance as well.
When it comes to building extraordinary workplaces and high-performing teams, three psychological needs are essential: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Decades of research demonstrate that when people feel psychologically fulfilled, they tend to be healthier, happier, and more productive.
Members of high-performing teams are significantly more likely to express positive emotions with their colleagues – they are more likely to create more personal and informal connections – joking with each other, complimenting one another, supporting the work of another, and even teasing each other – deepening a sense of authenticity as well as positive emotional connections.
New research suggests that the highest-performing teams have found subtle ways of leveraging social connections – offering important clues on ways any organization can foster greater connectedness — even within a remote or hybrid work setting — to engineer higher-performing teams.
Of those three essential needs, relatedness, or the desire to feel connected to others, has always been the trickiest for organizations to cultivate. It’s one thing to attract talented employees — but how exactly do you get them to like each other? Often, simply fostering a good working environment, based on the principles of psychological safety, and encouraging employees to get to know each other, is all it takes.
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- Website: https://leadhershipglobal.com/
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- Linkedin: ● Linkedin.com/company/leadhershipglobal
- Twitter: ● Twitter.com/leadhershipglob
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