We recently connected with Lili Alessa and have shared our conversation below.

LILI, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What’s the backstory behind how you came up with the idea for your business?

I began DJing during the first lockdown, just before New Year’s 2021. At the time, I had an established career with a major tech company, and my life revolved around it. When the lockdown hit—a chaotic time for everyone—we were looking for a way to celebrate New Year’s, which is an important holiday for Slavic people. As luck would have it, a friend of a friend had a space for rent, and there was also a small DJ controller available at the house. Without overthinking it, I decided to throw a party for members of our community who weren’t afraid to gather.
I watched a few YouTube tutorials to learn how to use the DJ controller and pick up the basics of DJing. In just two days, we pulled off the party. It turned out to be a success, especially considering it was my first attempt. Of course, it helped that people didn’t have many other options (laughing).
Performing as a DJ for the first time took a lot of courage for someone like me—an introverted and shy person—especially in front of people who knew me. I can admit my first “performance” wasn’t great. How could it be? It takes hours of practice to master the fundamentals and years to develop your own style. But none of that really mattered because people just wanted to have fun! Eventually, a few friends and I continued hosting these parties for about a year, and as we gained more experience, we started adding creative elements like themes, decorations, and exploring different music genres and decades to make each event more exciting.
Eventually, as the Covid restrictions were lifted, I transitioned into DJing in the club scene.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

From a young age, I discovered my passion for music. As a child, I was drawn to artistic expression in any form it took. However, the path wasn’t easy. At the age of 10, I had to contend with my mother’s disapproval. She believed a career in music was neither practical nor worthwhile, especially in our town, which was centered around oil and gas with little room for creativity.

Despite the obstacles, I enrolled in cello lessons but switched to piano at 12. Starting late meant I was behind my peers, and my teachers weren’t encouraging. They often criticized me for not mastering solfeggio at the expected level for my age. But my determination kept me going, and within just two months, I was playing freestyle with both hands. Soon after, I was nominated for local and regional concerts.

My next step in exploring music was singing. In ninth grade, I was noticed for my vocal talent and was offered private lessons with the school’s director. Studying music theory and technique one-on-one was a transformative experience, though I didn’t know where it would lead. Singing gave me such a sense of fulfillment that I joined multiple rock bands in high school and later performed at the University of Culture and Arts in St. Petersburg, Russia.

After moving to America, my musical pursuits took a backseat as I focused on establishing a technical career. For nearly a decade, I worked in various corporate roles, neglecting my creative side. Then, during the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself drawn to DJing, rediscovering my passion for music once again.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

As a beginner DJ, I quickly learned that talent alone wasn’t enough to get me noticed. I didn’t have many connections with club owners or event promoters, and in the music scene, I could see how those connections often seemed more important than talent. It was disheartening to see people with fewer skills landing gigs simply because they knew the right people.

In those early days, the struggle to book even a single gig started to weigh on me. For months, my inbox remained empty, and I wondered if all the effort was worth it. Thoughts of quitting crossed my mind more often than I’d like to admit. But something inside me wouldn’t let go.

Maybe it was my stubborn nature, or maybe it was the fact that, deep down, I knew this was where I was meant to be. Instead of throwing in the towel, I doubled down. I spent every free moment refining my skills, expanding my music library, and diving deeper into production. While the rest of the world didn’t seem to notice, I kept practicing like I had a full audience every night.

I also kept reaching out. Emails to promoters, messages to club owners, and connections through social media—it felt like I was sending signals into the void. But each day, I pushed a little harder. I realized that resilience isn’t just about surviving rejection; it’s about staying true to your passion even when it feels like no one is watching.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, something shifted. A small event took a chance on me. It wasn’t a huge venue or a big name gig, but it was a start. That one opportunity opened the door for more. Slowly but surely, my persistence paid off.

Looking back, I realize that those months of doubt were crucial to my journey. It was in that struggle that I built the resilience I needed, not just as a DJ, but as someone willing to fight for what they love. The bookings came eventually, but the real victory was learning to push through when everything seemed stacked against me.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

As a DJ, success often feels like a balancing act between passion, talent, and the realities of the music industry. But along the way, I discovered that growth wasn’t just about learning new techniques or building a killer setlist—it was also about unlearning some of the beliefs I had when I first started. Three lessons, in particular, shaped the way I approach my craft today: letting go of expectations from venues, avoiding comparisons with peers, and learning the value of humility.

Unlearning Expectations from Venues

Early in my journey, I had this idea that if I impressed a venue once, I’d be guaranteed future bookings. After all, if the crowd loved my set and the management seemed happy, why wouldn’t they invite me back? But I quickly learned that the DJ world doesn’t operate on logic alone. Even after a great night, venues may move on to fresh faces or simply follow a different direction for their music lineup.

This expectation led to frustration. I’d walk away from a successful set feeling confident I’d return, only to be met with silence. It was a harsh realization, but one I had to unlearn. Just because a venue books you once doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed a spot on their future roster. The key was to focus on making each gig the best it could be—without attaching myself to the outcome.

Unlearning Comparison with Peers

Another hard lesson was recognizing the danger of comparison. In the beginning, I’d often look at the paths of other DJs and wonder why I wasn’t hitting the same milestones. Some peers seemed to get more gigs, more recognition, and bigger opportunities, and it started to eat away at me. But comparing myself to others only served to make me doubt my unique path.

I had to unlearn the habit of measuring my progress against my peers. The truth is, everyone’s journey is different, and every DJ brings their own vibe to the table. The music scene thrives on diversity, and there’s no singular path to success. Once I embraced that my outcomes were uniquely mine, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I began to appreciate my own growth, my unique sound, and the spaces I was able to carve out for myself.

Unlearning Ego and Embracing Humility

Perhaps the hardest lesson of all was learning to lower my ego and stay humble. As a DJ, it’s easy to let praise or a well-received set inflate your sense of self. When you’re the one behind the decks, moving the crowd and controlling the vibe, it’s easy to feel like you’re on top of the world. But I realized that ego could be a dangerous thing.

In those moments when I felt like I deserved more or thought I was entitled to certain bookings, I had to remind myself that the journey is bigger than me. Humility became key to staying grounded. It reminded me that no matter how good one night might be, there’s always more to learn, always room for improvement, and always a reason to stay grateful for each opportunity

Contact Info:

• Instagram: lilialessadj
• Facebook: Lili Alessa
• Soundcloud: lilialessadj
• Other: Mixcloud: @lilialessadj

Image Credits

VIVID Presents LLC