We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lee Noto. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lee below.
Lee, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.
I’ll share the story that started my career as an Intimacy Coach and Psychedelic Therapist (TLDR: after massive heart break and health upheaval, I realized that in order to call in the love I was craving from a partner, I first had to become that partner to myself).
Ok, here goes…
I used to be completely disconnected from my own magic – numb, disconnected, and semi-oblivious to the fact that I was downright unhappy when it came to dating & relationships.
In dating: I couldn’t seem to break the pattern of attracting men who were emotionally unavailable and who wanted to keep ‘playing the field’ OR men who were ready to commit right away, but that I wasn’t really into..
In relationships: I could never make it past the two year ceiling – I’d be totally into the guy for the first year or so, but then watch my love and interest dissolve, as the conflict and separation increased.
Until I met a man I thought was “the One…”
I fell head over heels in love with who he was on paper:
– Tall, tan & handsome
– Charismatic & outgoing
– Intelligent & entrepreneurial
– Curious & spiritual
But something just wasn’t clicking…
I thought it was me, so I ignored all the red flags that let me know he was definitely NOT “the One.”
In fact, I went overboard trying to make myself “perfect” for him, just to hold onto a love that I was afraid I’d never be able to recreate.
I remember mornings waking up next to him, slipping quietly out of bed to brush my teeth, shower, and apply makeup before getting back into bed and pretending “I woke up like this.”
I was afraid to let him in and see ALL of me.
I was afraid that if I let anyone in that deeply, they might not like what they see and I’d eventually lose the love I’d worked so hard for.
After more than a year of emotional gripping, contorting myself, and ignoring my own needs and boundaries…..
He left.
I was completely shattered.
With no tools to process my emotions, I threw myself into my work, working out, and socializing.
I ignored the anger, sadness, confusion, and devastation that was overflowing out of me.
After months of turning away from the truth of my experience and pushing my emotions down, I woke up one day and the whole left side of my face was paralyzed.
I had Bells’ Palsy – a neurological condition that affects the nerves and causes the muscles on one side of the face to weaken and droop.
My face looked like the face to two different people.
To make matters worse, the stress that was pulsing through my body caused me to break out in full body hives and cystic facial breakouts.
I was completely beside myself.
In this “come to God” moment, I knew I had to change something.
There was no fucking way this was a coincidence!
I was the one who created this and only I had the power to change it.
Over the following months, I worked closely with two Chinese Medicine doctors, received intense acupuncture (with electrical stimulation) to the left side of my face, painful massage to stimulate my facial nerves, drank Chinese medicinal herbs, and worked with a coach and therapist to uncover what was happening inside of me.
This began my deep inner journey to heal my heart, regulate my nervous system, master my mind and emotions and to take a stand for my power, pleasure, and turn on!
I went on to study with the world’s leading teachers on psychology, psychedelics, intimacy and relationships and spent the following months envisioning how instead of looking for an ideal partner in someone else, I could be that ideal partner to myself.
I dedicated myself to learning and loving myself the way I wanted a partner to love me.
This ONE shift made ALL the difference.
After years of struggling to call in my committed masculine partner, I was finally ready to open my heart, to myself!
And to my surprise, within months of filling myself with the kind of love I’d longed for my whole life, I met my match!
One fateful day at a speaking workshop in Brooklyn, New York, I got up to share my story and caught the unwavering attention of my now partner, Ani.
For months we developed a friendship that was based on open communication, authenticity, vulnerability, and deep care.
I was smitten every time I was in his presence – he listened with such patience and compassion and encouraged me to always reach for my potential.
I had no idea what to make of this – an attractive, successful, open-hearted man…and we’re “just friends?!”
After realizing what a catch he was, I finally told him I was in love with him!
Thankfully, he felt the same way, and the rest is history!
Well after surpassing my former “two year ceiling,” Ani and I have created the most transformative, passionate, loving relationship I could ever imagine.
We are now partners in love, life, and business.
We travel the world together and we challenge and inspire each other to grow.
(And we also have incredibly sensual & passionate sex! ;)
I couldn’t imagine a more fulfilling life and am so grateful to have my beloved by my side!
All those years ago, I had no idea that a massive heartbreak and health breakdown would lead me to the work I love and the man I share my life with.
Since then, I’ve guided countless women through this very same process, led them on their journeys and witnessed them completely transform their relationship with themselves, as well as their partners.
I’m so clear that intimacy with a partner starts with intimacy with ourselves and I’m here to help women create the deepest, most pleasure-filled intimacy of their lives!
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
Hey, I’m Lee, the go-to Intimacy Coach & Psychedelic Therapist for powerful women. I’m on a mission to help them overcome painful dating & love patterns, so they can attract love and create wildly fulfilling & passionate relationships.
My area of speciality is in helping successful single women unleash their feminine power, so they can attract and KEEP emotionally available, masculine men.
Through my company, Aligned Attraction, I help women dismantle the roadblocks to attracting and creating lasting love, while guiding them toward deeper connection to their bodies, emotions, and sensuality – making them irresistible, even to themselves!
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My core values as an Intimacy Coach & Psychedelic Therapist include:
– Physical & Emotional Wellbeing: In order for true lasting change to occur, you must feel physically and emotionally safe. In addition, I hold the value that my clients feel loved and cared for as they do their deep inner work.
– Growth & Expansion: With love and care, I take my clients to the edge of their comfort zone, helping them step past it, so they can create lasting change.
– Honesty & Authenticity: I encourage clients to bring ALL of themselves to our work. I also show up to our interactions with my full personality and relatable personal stories that let my clients know they’re not alone on their journey.
What’s different about my work:
Most change/transformation work only incorporates verbal processing (i.e. talk therapy and most coaching). While talk work (verbal/cognitive processing) is a very important and necessary part of the process, it is only a PART of the process.
In addition to processing at the level of the brain, my work addresses and supports the emotions, the body, and the nervous system.
That means this work addresses core and fundamental aspects of identity and how we form our ideas about ourselves, others, love, relationships, etc.
Unless we address the WHOLE human, change/transformation work will only be happening at a superficial level. My work aims to address all aspects of the human.
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
Abso-fucking-lutely! (Can I say fuck?!) :p
In retrospect, it all makes sense that I ended up in exactly the place I am today. From a very early age, I felt curious about how people relate to one another and how they relate to themselves — psychologically, emotionally, and sexually.
It feels validating to have created a career path for myself that it seems was alive in me for as long as I can remember.
Even upon speaking with various astrologers, Human Design practitioners and others, many of my planets + my natural disposition point me toward a career where I work closely with people, ask insightful questions, make observations, deal with taboo topics, mediate, and help people understand aspects of themselves they were once unaware of.
I like to think that I help people recognize their innate power and fall in love with themselves.
And when someone deeply values themselves, they’re going to attract love into their life from a partner who deeply values them too.
Any stories or insights that might help us understand how you’ve built such a strong reputation?
There’s something to be said about a woman that can talk science — psychology, neuroscience & biology, yet also incorporates more taboo aspects into her work, i.e. conscious sexuality, tantra, concepts from BDSM/kink and more.
In addition to finding myself at this very unique intersection, I’ve also built my reputation on “keeping things real.” I bring my full personality to my work and my clients, both with an ability to hold them in their tender, vulnerable moments, and to laugh and crack jokes with them when the appropriate mood strikes.
My clients count on me to help them deconstruct their outdated psychological narratives, as much as they count on me to break out in dance during a light-hearted moment, guiding them to become freer in their minds AND bodies.
I love the work I do and it really freakin shows and I’m here to help my clients discover the boldest, most expressed version of themselves.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.LeeNoto.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leenoto_/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lee-noto/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0NcB60v-oK0jUA8PnVVRoQ
Image Credits
Alejandro Severini, Ashlee Newman, Julianna Rennard