We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lee Harrington. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lee below.

Lee , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?

In 2004, I had a car accident that left me unable to consistently show up at my day job. Between doctors appointments, inability to sit at a desk for a long time, and challenges negotiation with a supervisor that didn’t understand, it left me in a tough situation. I had been doing side projects in teaching, modeling, and consulting for a while, but had told myself they would always be side projects. I decided to go ahead and take a leap that I found terrifying at the time. I ended my career as a database administrator and launched myself full time into being a relationships and sexuality coach and educator.

Since then, I have been gifted with the opportunity to teach in all 50 states, 7 other countries, write 8 books, and edit 3 anthologies. Taking a risk paid off. It hasn’t always, there have been letdowns, projects that have not manifested in the ways I’d hoped, and opportunities that turned out to not be opportunities, but taking that first risk of stepping away from the world of nonprofits and the regular grind has been worth every moment of it.

Lee , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

Absolutely. I started out as a relationships and sexulaity educator in 2001, when asked by a local group “How did you do that thing you did in that video?”. That first class on bedroom restraint and discussions of personal desire lit me up emotionally, and authenticity in general continues to light me up today. I am a believer that the main things that drive us in life are passions and the callings of our spirit and soul, and ever since that first class it has been important to integrate that into my work and inspire others as well.

Having been a member of the LGBTQ+ and adventurous sexuality communities since the mid nineties I have always been touched by the courage it takes people, including myself, to pursue our dreams, desires, and the truths of who we are. As a transgender man, part of that has included following my own gender journey. The challenges along that path have led to me getting to coach others and helping them figure out who they are as well. Sometimes we simply need a hand to hold or an ear to listen to our hopes and fears. Having had friends and allies myself in my quest to who I truly am, it has given me the skill sets and drive to do so for others in turn. I now offer everything from intensives on the intersections of spirituality and kink, to university classes on transgender experience, and courses on diverse relationship structures and erotic interests.

It has been such a gift to get to do this work for over two decades and I am grateful to get to offer insight and support, as well as hold space for group discussion and deep dives. I hope I continue to do so for the rest of my life.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey. Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?

There are a few different things that have led to me growing my clientele most effectively without burning me out. The first has been finding the social media platforms that fit me as a person – we are not good at all types! Don’t try to force yourself to bend to every system. Setting aside the ones that don’t fit (or using software that cross-post for me from the platforms that do work for me) has changed my energy to growth balance, making sure that it’s not all ads (that I love building on professional platforms). I post a mix of self-love quotes, sections from my books, class ads, pictures and stories from my life, and lifting up the work of others. We get to raise each other up, and all thrive, right?

Secondly I have found that sharing my humanity has made a big difference for me. I live with complex, often invisible, disabilities. By sharing why I have to cancel a class, for health reasons, I have collected fans and followers that need to hear that they are not alone in their disabilities, challenges, and complex realities. By giving free class passes or discounted tickets to disenfranchised populations, I not only am following my ethics and beliefs towards accessibility, but have also built devoted enthusiasts of my work who spread the word about everything I do for me.

Whether they have fallen in love with me for my books, classes, Patreon platform writing, archive of blogs and podcasts (leaving them up on purpose), or simply my humanity, one of the biggest parts of growing my clientele has been those devoted enthusiasts. My “Beautiful Beings.” Having my core 20 passionate people, in combination with about 200 people who are regularly interacting with me on social media, has made such a world of difference. They allow me to access diverse communities I would never have connected with otherwise, and those passing social connections, even a “like” on a post of theirs, I know has literally changed their days, years, or in at least one case, life. This requires maintaining boundaries though, boundaries that are loving but firm, because my energy only goes so far. A mix of transparency in sharing where I’m at as a human, while still maintaining personal limits, has been my key to finding the web of individuals ready to be touched by my work.

Plus? Links to free stuff that I already had out there in the world, and links to the work of others – that goes a long way too.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I was asked by an established event to come teach for them at their annual conference. They were tight on funds but offered to feed me, put me up, and cover my travel if I could find flights on the cheap. It was a limited demographic event that doesn’t have enough learning opportunities for folks, and a number of folks I knew were attending that I might find nice to see, so I agreed to come out.

Getting there had been bumpy, and finally arriving at the host hotel I found out that the trip wasn’t going to be the only bumpy thing. I headed to hotel registration and there was no room with my name on it. I went to event registration and they checked me into the event, and went looking for the event producer because no one knew about my room, or my food, or anything other than a class schedule that might be moving around too. Finally the producer showed up and told me the plan. I would be staying in the hospitality suite. A suite that would be hosting parties each night until 1am and would also have breakfast being served at 8am. The food? Whatever the hospitality suite had to offer.

I thanked her for the hotel room key, and went and found a private corridor where I crumpled up and began quietly crying. An older long-time attendee quietly made her way up to me and asked what was going on and I couldn’t even get a sentence out. She asked if I needed help up to my room and I explained they were loading everything into the suite and it wasn’t going to be just mine until 1am… and before I could finish the sentence she lifted me up, took my bag, and took me to her room. The rest of the weekend she adopted me as her own, and stood as a buffer between me and the producer, because I didn’t have the resilience… but she built me up. She helped me. She found my friends. She made the world a better place.

She helped me build that resilience, so I am now able to have resilience in other situations, and knowledge of what to ask. I ask what spaces and food arrangements will be like. Heck, I built a travel preferences and needs sheet to help folks instead of doing the work over and over again. But still, I have slept in rooms with popcorn kernels in the sheets and used condoms on the floor. I’ve laughed my way through having to move across town for classes that were mis-advertised, held strong for students sharing stories I didn’t buckle in for, and? Giving myself permission to change situations that simply won’t work. Booking my own hotel room then asking for reimbursement. Finding other teachers or attendees to lean on. Make the world mine rather than only coping. Because yes, she showed me that I can be resilient, but also showed me I don’t have to just cope. I can be loved, I can love, and that is how we can all do better.

Contact Info:

• Websites: https://www.passionandsoul.com/ & https://www.patreon.com/passionandsoul
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passionandsoul/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lee.harringon/

Image Credits
IMG_E4388 by Mia More DSC_0255 by Kilted Photography H-KiltedPhotography by Kilted Photography