We recently connected with Lawrence Kan and have shared our conversation below.

Lawrence, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Do you feel you or your work has ever been misunderstood or mischaracterized? If so, tell us the story and how/why it happened and if there are any interesting learnings or insights you took from the experience?

I think that, especially when attending a college without a film production program, the film community in Berkeley can be very cliquey, so a lot of one’s actions are always heavily scrutinized — where reputation, alliances, and perceptions circulate faster than the films themselves. I am an overly anxious person, and as a consequence of that, the scrutiny always feels sharper. So when presenting the following works from my “Stanczyk Anthology” series — with characters or stories inspired by personal heartbreak or trauma mixed with the vulgar and the absurd — I think it has definitely been misinterpreted by people as emotional volatility and raised some eyebrows.

The Stanczyk Anthology doesn’t have the glamour or the precision of my other film projects. But what really drove me to create the series was to explore the struggles and insecurities of finding a sense of self during adulthood. These deeply flawed characters have become an avenue for me to deeply self-reflect and how people behave when they are lonely or in search of a connection.

Because there certainly are elements that are rather humiliating and dramaticized from specific points of my college experience, I think peers would think of these works as emotionally reactive and even project assumptions onto them. But one thing I’ve learned is that as a student filmmaker, you just have to “write what you know” — which really is personal experience. The Stanczyk series has always been a critical engagement with myself and my imperfections. All in all, I realized that being authentic in my own work is not going to appease everyone.

Lawrence, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

An American-born Taiwanese who grew up in Hong Kong for most of my life. My passion for filmmaking really started with making silly YouTube skits. Also, growing up with a group of friends who are so passionate about storytelling (such as working on one of my closest friends’ indie feature films in high school) has really motivated me to continue to do what I love to do. I am an undergraduate Senior studying Film and Economics at UC Berkeley and will be planning to pursue a career in filmmaking in New York.

During college, I spent a lot of my free time trying to learn certain technical, production or creative skills required for filmmaking on YouTube, since the school really only offers education on Film theory. I then apply these skills to either help out with other students’ projects or turn my ideas into fruition. A project I am really proud of includes “Death of a Mayfly”, which was an ambitious, high-concept short film I wrote and directed. The film is about an assassin torn between his loyalty to a corrupted partner and a system he feels liable to. I have also contributed to the founding of a club called BAFA (Business and Film Association), where we develop the creative skills of students who also share such a passion for filmmaking, all the while creating an inclusive community through mentorship programs and semesterly retreats; I am really grateful to have such a welcoming community in Berkeley.

Otherwise, during my free time, I really like to do photography, reading, and learning history or really just talking to anyone with really cool experiences and knowledge! One thing my roommate and I really love doing recently is sunset chasing and taking on brisk walks.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

I think there really are two rewarding aspects of filmmaking, and it’s either through the process of creating or helping someone to create. For example, as a director and screenwriter, what makes me happy is the fact that the process of filmmaking feels like a safe space for me to explore some of my most vulnerable thoughts; I also enjoy breaking down a character’s behavior and complex traits with actors or discussing cool shot ideas with cinematographers; these collaborative efforts, along with constructive feedback throghout the process really empowers me to express myself to the fullest without the typical anxiety I feel in new social situations. On the other hand, helping others to create is so rewarding too, because no matter how tiring set days can be, I always think to myself: “man, it’s so great to make new friends who also find the process of making films really cool!”

These days, too many people focus on how filmmaking could offer them fame, awards, or even a little ego boost. While these external goals can be little motivating factors, I think the internal and true intrinsic drive should always come first. I think just writing about the process of assembling or being a part of a film crew, and the idea of working with new people, makes me want to jump onto a set or new opportunities as soon as possible. I think that consistently staying excited for such a daunting process is to always stay curious and to learn to be open to new experiences — even if it can be hard to at times.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

I think coming from a relatively traditional Asian family, past mistakes are always heavily drilled through in my learning environment or social dynamics/interactions. While I am very grateful that what my parents have taught me has induced a lot of self-reflection, I think these teachings also come with the drawback of being overly fixated on past mistakes and flaws.

When mistakes become heavily and constantly instilled, I become my own harshest critic in terms of my work, or just in general as a person. And in turn, this becomes a flawed reinforcement where I constantly attach negative labels to myself, which just really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of some sort; I’m really afraid of making mistakes and the consequences that come with it, and these kinds of fears stop me from doing what’s necessary for me to grow as a filmmaker or a person.

To unlearn this, I have to relearn how to deal with mistakes, and it means being okay with where I am right now, and being gentle with my own internal voice that guides me so often. I think that while I can still terribly overthink past mistakes, what has allowed me to gradually unlearn this notion of “you are your mistake” is realizing that I am, at my core, always curious to learn — and that I am putting genuine effort into refining my work or myself.

Life comes in ebbs and flows, and the more I begin to embrace that, I realize that I need to have a mindset shift where life comes from me, not at me.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://lawrenceandersonkan.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lawrenceakan/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lawrence-kan-34a73a246/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@lawrencekan21