We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Latifah Hameen Hameen a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Latifah Hameen, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?

My story is one I had not intended on writing. I was in and out of abusive relationships for the majority of my adult life.. I was raised in a household where abuse wasn’t talked about at all. I was living with an abuser, my father toward my mother. I wasn’t directly abused but indirectly. It affected me just like I was being abused.

It wasn’t until many years later that I realized what abuse was. I know it was something that didn’t feel good nor did it seem right with my soul, but I just went along with it because it was all I knew at that time.

One day I was sitting in a seminar on domestic abuse and people were telling their stories; it was so uncomfortable for me because I didn’t know much about the stages of abuse or any of that stuff. I was feeling so uneasy that I decided to find out more information about abuse and how it related to what was happening in my life at the time. That started my journey of studying abuse and then writing about it. Then one day, my soul opened up and I was able to understand abuse and how it had affected my life.

I broke the cycle and wrote my first book in 2006, “Suffering in Silence: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse”, In 2011, I started my nonprofit organization, “Healthy Positive Choices” on my journey to helping others who were experiencing abuse. I set up workshops and seminars. Then in 2014, I became a certified Relationship Coach to take my nonprofit to the next level. Once women were out of an abusive relationship, they had to know how to rebuild their lives and form healthy relationships, so I started a Relationship Coaching business.

Latifah Hameen, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a victorious survivor of domestic violence. After many years in abusive relationships, I broke the cycle of abuse and published my first book telling my story in 2006. I am a published author of 9 books: (All are available for purchase)

1)Suffering in Silence: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse
2)Suffering in Healing: Creating a New Cycle of Behavior
3)The Awakening of Your Soul—A book of poetry
4)Teens/Young Adults How-To Not-To Relationship Abuse Workbook
5) Abuse Awareness: Removing the Cover
6) Daring Moves: From Unhealthy Fears to Creating Healthy Relationships
7) Hidden Secrets: Making Positive Choices
8) When Hearts Connect: A Healthy Relationship Guide
9) With Healing in Mine—A book of poetry

In my first book, I shared my life in and out of abusive relationships and in the second one; I explained the role I played in the abuse. In the third book, which is poetry, I reached deep within and expressed her heartfelt emotions as they related to my struggles and successes. The Teen workbook is used in my workshops to educate teens and young adults on the cycle of abuse. In the two next books, I share how to come from unhealthy relationships and how to begin to form healthy and wholesome ones. Then I explore tools on how to stay in a healthy relationship and the last book in another book of poems.

Because of my abusive relationships, I developed a passion to educate and detour others, especially teens from traveling in a similar path of abuse, so in 2007, I started Healthy Positive Choices (HPC,) a non-profit, 501© 3 organization as a preventive tool in educating teens and young adults on the growing problems of relationship abuse. HPC’s purpose is to first, aid teens and young adults in becoming knowledgeable of abuse and its dangers. Second, is to have the strength to break the cycle if they ever encounter abuse. Third, is to have zero tolerance for it in their lives and finally, pass the knowledge to one person, who in turn will help another person, so that abuse may no longer exist in any form. HPC’s objective is to provide preventive tools to teens and young adults so they will have the knowledge and a keen sense to identify and detect any form of abuse and its signs.

Ms. Hameen was awarded “Woman of the Year” in May, 2012 by the South Central Dallas National Association of Business and Professional Women, for her work in helping to “stamp out” domestic violence. She is an honored member in the 2012 edition of the Biltmore Who’s Who registry of Executives and Professionals. She has had several articles written on her story of abuse, and the rebuilding of her life along with various accomplishments by Isahah Janette Grant of the Houston Examiner on November 2010, May 2011, and the latest article on September 11, 2012.

Ms. Hameen is a relationship coach, author, poet, and motivational speaker. Her mission is to continue educating on Domestic Abuse while advocating for healthy relationships.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

When I was growing up, the word abuse was never mentioned in my household, so I knew nothing about it. Although it occurred most weekends in my home when my father was drinking alcohol followed by arguments and sometimes physical abuse with my mother, it was looked upon as a normal part of my family life. No one labeled it as abuse. It was like having a pink elephant
in the middle of the room, everyone seeing it, but no one wanting to identify
its presence. The ignorance of abuse affected my life more than I could have
imagined.

When the abuse was happening, I would go into the closet, put my hands
over my ears to drown out the sound, and cry silently. I would get so angry
at my father. In fact, during those moments, I hated him for disrupting our
household but never told anyone. I kept it inside and when it was over, I
seemed ok until the next episode. I would go back to loving my father until
he started up again the next weekend. I had this love/hate relationship with
my father for many years. I was on an emotional rollercoaster because I was indirectly abused each time. I suffered silently as I held the emotions in until they erupted in school or on my family and friends.

As a result of the abuse in my home, I took on abusive patterns as well. I
would pick fights, kept a bad attitude, and was emotionally unstable; however,
the instability was never connected to abuse.

Help for abuse was not readily available nor was it talked about when
I was a little girl. To my recollection, I lived indirectly in abuse for most of my
childhood. I accepted it as a way of life. As an adult, I ventured into abusive
relationships because it was all I knew. It was my comfort zone. After many
years in and out of abusive relationships, I knew something was wrong and realized abuse was not a part of everybody’s everyday existence. I recognized it was not right knew I had to end this cycle of abuse because I could not take the pain anymore.

Finally, in 2005, I decided to take my life back. I started researching abuse
in general by going online, listening to CDs, and reading books. I specifically
learned about the cycle of abuse and how detrimental it was to the mind,
body and soul. Then I researched relationship abuse.

Then, in 2006, I told my story in my first book “Suffering in Silence: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse”. In 2007,
I started a non-profit organization, Healthy Positive Choices, Inc, a nonprofit 501©3 organization as a preventative tool to educate teens and adults on the dangers of domestic abuse.

I educate teens in schools, employees/employers in the workplace or anyone who may know someone who is thinking of venturing into, already there, or on the way out of an abusive relationship.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

I had to unlearn my dislike for myself. Now, I feel like a breath of fresh air has been inserted into my soul. I have learned to trust what I feel and to stand up for what I believe to be real. If I fall, I don’t stay there and waddle. I get back up and continue to move forward. If I can’t get up on the outside, I stand strong on the inside. In other words, I know as long as I keep my faith out front and continue to serve my Lord, he promises me victory. I don’t concentrate on how large my problems are, I focus on how great my Lord is. He wants the best for me.

I’ve learned to let go of the past and change my attitude about my circumstances. I have forgiven all of the men that have caused me pain in my past abusive relationships. I also ask forgiveness for any pain I have caused them as well.

I’m learning to wait on my Lord’s timing and stop thinking he needs my help. As I wait for my Lord to bestow blessings upon me, I continue to serve him and stay happy in the midst of it all. Happiness is a choice.

I’ve learned to expect the best of all my circumstances and to know that I’m in God’s grace. I’m raising my level of expectancy and visualizing prosperity into my life. I’ve stopped settling for a life of mediocrity

Contact Info:

• Website: powerfulchoices.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/latifahhameen/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/latifahhameen
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/latifah-hameen-clc-crc-cdvc-ma-b7716715/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/HameenLatifah
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUhNAl8KsOLpgCdJ-HebAvA
• Other: healthypositivechoices.com