We recently connected with Lara Mahler and have shared our conversation below.

Lara, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to have you retell us the story behind how you came up with the idea for your business, I think our audience would really enjoy hearing the backstory.

I got engaged in 2014 and spent 15 months immersed in the New York City wedding planning vortex. At the time I was working full time as a program coordinator at a private progressive school in the West Village and dancing and performing professionally. I felt very present in my wedding planning process, I had a very practical way of planning, I created structures and boundaries for myself so that I didn’t get overwhelmed, but like most people in the midst of planning their wedding there were stressful moments and expectations that myself and my now husband Matt needed to learn how to navigate. It was my own wedding planning process and wedding that inspired THE PRIVILEGE IS MINE.

Everyone is different but one boundary I created for myself while planning our wedding was to not get caught on a Pinterest black hole, mind you Pinterest and Instagram were very different in 2014 and 2015, but my goal was to have my vision based on what I and my husband wanted and find inspiration for that particular vision, we had a budget and so we found vendors that could execute our particular vision within that budget, I didn’t interview many vendors, I definitely limited myself and if I spoke to one, liked their work, who they were as people and they were within budget, I booked them. I went to one dress shop, on one day, tried on 7 dresses and bought the 7th dress, 4 days after getting engaged, I didn’t want any confusion, or stress, just a fun and relaxed process. I never felt like I needed to experience more options.

So after our wedding, that is when I kind of went nuts on Pinterest and Instagram, I created Pinterest boards with seasonal wedding inspiration, where I really dug deep in wedding vendors and researched the industry, and it was clear that the process and structure created for myself was difficult to find in others.
I couldn’t find a wedding planner that marketed themselves as more of an advocate for the couple getting married, the human approach to planning felt hard to find, someone who approached the process in a structured and relaxed way, who was a collaborator, someone who was kind and honest and trusting, someone who created space for each couple to bring their unique vision to life.

That was really how THE PRIVILEGE IS MINE was born, it was taking my wedding planning experience and realizing there wasn’t much out there (at that time that) that mirrored by experience and my process and I just wanted to create a space in the industry to help folks find the ease, joy and peace in the process and their decision making.

My only experience when I started my business was with my own wedding, so in full transparency it wasn’t necessarily only about weddings that excited me about started a business, it was the relationships, about the way I could make people feel during this particular season of life, and finding a more creative and collaborative approach.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Of course! So, I moved to New York city from Toronto, Canada in 2007, where I attended Tisch School of the Arts for an MFA in dance. I danced and performed all my life, I would describe myself (and I think others would to) as a person and generally has a very positive out look on life, someone who is a little bit of a risk taker, who has a good sense of humor, thinks outside the box, has a open and progressive mind, who is relaxed but it passionate about things that matter most to me.

In dance, my my goal was to make the audience feel something, whether it was uncomfortable, sad or excited, it was my job to create a new world for them and I think I took that perspective with me in all avenues of my life, career and relationships.

What’s so funny about getting into the wedding industry is that it never occurred to me to test the waters and assist other planners, or get a job working for another planner, my instinct was to go all in. It was I start a business, and do this myself or I don’t do it at all, and I think the reason for that was because at the time, I could see a planning company that matched with my approach to how I saw weddings or how I thought weddings should be tackled, so I felt like I needing to create that space.
A space where ALL couples felt space, included, advocated for, where a relationship could be formed with their planner, where there was trust and deep rooted respect for one another as humans.

It was important to me that my values and who I was as a human were visible to the folks I worked with, that those qualities were represented in my company and ultimately in the team of planners I brought on board.

Something that is unique about THE PRIVILEGE IS MINE is that we believe wedding planning should be accessible to everyone, we hate the idea of turning anybody away because they don’t have it in their budget for wedding planning support, so we found a way to fix that by launching TPIM ONLINE which is a community focused wedding planning subscription platform, it truly is the most alternative and inclusive way to plan a wedding.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

Yes! Honestly it felt like from the age of 23-33 years old was a constant life pivot, within that decade, life left my most uncomfortable and kind of all over the place.

Nothing about my process of moving to New York, or finding my way in the city was linear.
As I mentioned I moved here in 2007, I has just finished college and I going straight to an MFA program and moving to another country all at the same time, I was one of the youngest in our class and also the only Canadian in the class. Although I wasn’t learning a new language or getting used to a different culture, it was a challenge, I couldn’t legally work here, open a bank account, get a cell phone, all of those things required a social security number which I didn’t have at the time, so New York didn’t really feel like home.

Midway through my MFA program, I realized I loved education, so that vision of touring and performing as a full time job seemed to fade, although I loved it. I was passionate about working with young people and exposing movement to kids who may not have the opportunity, so after my MFA I went back to Toronto and went back to school to get ANOTHER degree in education.

I taught shortly after I graduated from my Bachelors in Education, but I didn’t settle into that career for too long because I moved back to NY in 2013 on a three year work visa sponsored by a school, who hired me in an admin role, not a teaching role.

So here I was on the verge of turning 29 years old. Working the only job I could get to sponsor my visa, who I was legally bound to for 3 years, while I was watching my friends around me, some in careers they had been in already for 5 years, getting married and having children, and I was starting over again.

It wasn’t until 2015, after I got married, got my green card that there was a sense of freedom and finally a feeling of being at home. My husband had a lot to do with that, he was and is my best friend and a constant when everything around me for years was changing.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

I think understanding your strengths when you are starting a business is really important. It’s no secret that I didn’t have experience in running a business as a dance and education major, that is something I needed to work at, learn about, hire help for, outsource and educate myself on.

What I did know about myself was that I am very creative, A “think outside the box” person, I am quick on my feet, work well under pressure, I love working on a team, I am very community driven and inspired by others around me.
I am relaxed, I get things done quickly, I have a good sense of humor, I am a good listener and love meeting new people.

So what was important to me as I was forging a space in this industry and community was to network, host vendor meet ups, show my human side, be honest and transparent, when I am onsite at a wedding, introduce myself to everyone, shake everyone’s hand, be a team player, have some fun and with clients, just listen, be present and be a collaborator. By taking advantage of my strengths and being true to who I am and what I am good at instead of pretending to be someone I am not, I have built a reputation of someone who listens, asks questions, remains flexible, patient, kind, easy going, fun and cool/calm/collected.

If I tried to base my business on something different, I’m certain my reputation wouldn’t be what it is now.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.theprivilegeisminenyc.com
• Instagram: @tpimweddings
• Other: TikTok: @tpimweddings

Image Credits
Brian David Weddings Cheyanna De Nicola Photography Kelly Brown Weddings 98 Wedding co. Rachel Leiner Scratch Studios