We recently connected with Lady Mekaella DeMure and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Lady Mekaella, thanks for joining us today. What’s been the most meaningful project you’ve worked on?
When it all *clicked* I think every performance in my whole career became meaningful. Taking up space in the arts as a loud, Queer, Fat, Naked Nerd and using a platform for good is the most meaningful. Being Authentic and visible was it from the beginning for me, before it became a branding tactic for modern day influencers. I’m just an artist trying to make meaningful art for those who see themselves in my body onstage. Whenever i produce shows, i produce ethically, at theatres, bars, conventions & convention afterparties I make sure my cast & crew represent diversity & i cast specifically with body/race/disability/gender inclusion in mind so all audiences see themselves celebrated on stages where i can give artists often excluded in our industries usually stage time to shine, as I’ve been doing since the 2010’s….. But otherwise; Perhaps my most meaningful work offstage was the preserving of voices/Oral Histories of fellow Burlesque dancers & SWers I submitted to archivists of multiple museums and published in the book “Policing Muses: a History Of Pasties & Mirkins” which many copies I’ve donated to newbie performers of the new generation of artists hitting the stage fresh faced but unaware of the history and Femmes & Themmes who came before them that made their debuts even possible legally & culturally.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
As Cliche as it sounds, I was a rebellious little feminist in the making despite a VERY Conservative British upbringing. A childhood love of old films like “Lady Of Burlesque,” “G*spy” “Zeigfeld Girl” & “Funny Girl” led to me becoming a theatre student (and later four-year theatre major) but was constantly met with “You’re a talented and fantastic actress but you need to lose weight and get a nose job” far too many times than I could count.
I cosplayed as a teen and worked at renaissance festivals, theatres & Pirate faires in summers, even picked up other nightlife entertainment skills along the way, as performers do, like fire eating/performing, stilt walking, and gogo dancing. Then I stumbled onto burlesque gigs around ‘09 or ‘10.
The transition away from the theatre as easy as it was still the flash & storytelling, with the by-women-for-women industry and a rich feminist history plus the vaudeville roots I was yearning for. I combined all of my skills from 15+ years of being on stage and backstage, with my cosplay hobby skills for costuming I just fell into this pleasant niche of Nerdlesque.
It all really just fell into place once I realized I had a purpose in this industry. The first time a woman came up to me after a show, braving the smell of fuel and soot my fire pasties give off, and thanked me, saying “I saw my body on stage, in you, I saw myself, that made me feel good. Like, sexy. Thank you”
IT JUST CLICKED.
I cried. I ugly cried all the way home. And this kept happening more and more and it really fueled my fire, pun fully intended. In every art except burlesque, I had never seen women who looked like me be empowered and sexy, unless it was the punchline of a man’s joke or a display of villainizing women as “wicked beings”.
I had never seen myself as attractive and here was the opportunity to not only be a storyteller, reclaiming my bodily agency & gaining confidence without compromise in the process, but to do my part in representation for audiences who needed to see openly Queer, curvy, non-conforming, nerdy women onstage doing things only reserved for those who didn’t upset the status quo. Then when I started producing, I took the next step. In small towns that, for the most part, had never heard of “Burlesque” or had forgotten what “Vaudeville” was, I was putting on shows that featured every race, gender, and body type I could book on my stages, some performers with the same stretchmarks as me. I then also became more open about my journey in Sex Work.
To make a long story short; Producing & Stripping/S.W. helped me grow as a performer tenfold on and offstage whereas gaining a bigger platform as an entertainer helped me do more good as a small-time activist using my privilege to help others. Whether it’s for artists getting paid properly, or sex workers’ rights or LGBTQ+ rights, and so on and so on.
I just keep trying to grow as an artist, while still trying to make a difference, learning to find that balance. Now I travel as far as LA, New Orleans, and as far south as Miami doing my craft and being unapologetically authentic for those that can’t be. This was in the Before Times, pre-pandemic where the arts in FL were put on hold for a mere year.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Anyone can learn from the bumpy road I’ve had. A little bumpy to go with that Bump & Grind! I always love encouraging new talent but I also have to be realistic; To be honest, I paid a price to be who I am where I am today and I haven’t even reached my final form yet, so to speak. There is a huge stigma about women being sexual, sensual, openly queer, and our authentic selves. And how dare we profit from it! The scandal! And the societal misogyny runs truly deep; frankly, I know first hand. When I was outed to my family as the Queer Stripper, there was a lot of contempt, slurs, and slut-shaming thrown at me before being disowned for disgracing the “good family name.” I’ve lost jobs/opportunities, friends, and relationships. I had to defend both my burlesque shows and the Vagina Monologues at Ocala City Hall from sexism silencing women’s artistic expression.
Don’t even get me started on the unwelcome online harassment & cyberbullying you experience regularly… and on top of that, it’s still hard work. It’s not all glam & glitter; it’s blisters, blood, sweat, tears, fire fuel & even fake bloodstains. The first thing I tell newbies of any gender when they come into our industry is that it’s not going to be easy. And Sometimes your own colleagues are often cruel & cut throat in very “pick me girl”/”I shine if i snuff out others” way and there’s no preparing for that, you just go to therapy and push through if you can and keep making your art.
No one will hold your hand through everything as showbiz is indeed a business, and be prepared to have angry old men force you to fight them at city hall because they want to shut you down (True Story, and yes, darlings you CAN win!).
You will fight a lot of battles, but don’t forget self-care, kindness, and grace to yourself, and that you’re a warrior baddie!
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
I had to unlearn that “if I work hard enough, if I’m talented enough, if I’m professional enough, if I do everything expected/exploited of me, then I’ll earn my seat at the table and get the gigs that I want to achieve the goals I want” & frankly that’s just not true, you can prove yourself enough to elbow your way to a chair and do your best over & over again & jump through every fiery hoop expected of you, but if those in power at the table do not want you to have a seat then you may need to pivot; create your own table. Build a table for those who work hard like you and represent the diversity you see in your artistic industry & showcase it. I proved I was enough over & over, in survival mode, But building my own table for myself and others helped me unlearn survival & think about planting seeds of trees i will never sit in the shade under.
While yes gigs put food on the table, I’d still like to see the industry outlast me, and shows produced ethically with Femmes & Themmes with bodies like mine or bigger, struggles like mine or bigger, mental health like mine ect,ect, be celebrated & have space onstage long past my time here. I think some in the entertainment industry couldn’t image anything past their own brands timelines or beyond their own brand not knowing they could benefit from this mindset. But unlearning cutthroat survival mode is hard, and it takes energy to educate others not open to hearing your voice, so I understand not everyone is open to that if they are comfortable, or benefiting directly from those in comfortable power, & are not able to grasp the bigger picture that may challenge comfort.
Contact Info:
- Website: ladymekaellademure.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladymekaella
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LadyMekaellaDeMure
- Linkedin: dangerdamesfl.com
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lady_Mekaella
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLOt_sJCwHIjZ1alw47CpXg/featured
- Yelp: policingmuses.com
- Other: https://beacons.ai/Lady_Mekaella
Image Credits
Images by Swamp Witch Photography, Epbot, Fauna Fae Photography, Gary Whiley & Danny Dyce Photpgraphy