We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Laani Ford. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Laani below.

Laani , appreciate you joining us today. One of our favorite things to hear about is stories around the nicest thing someone has done for someone else – what’s the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?

I have a good friend who I met on social media not long after my marriage fell apart. There isn’t just one instance I can name in which I have received kindness from this person. They have been in my corner since the moment I met them. Any idea I have, they support me. When I’m too scared to do something they give me a kick in the rear to do it. They tell me like it is. They show up on my low days when I want to give up, and just listen. They have put my name in rooms and spaces I could never even imagine being in. They are always looking out for me. When I moved to Southern California to pursue my dreams, everything fell apart when I arrived. My apartment was infested with roaches, which caused me to move out within 24 hours, and was forced to find a new place to live. I only had a couple days to find something as I started work the following Monday morning. This friend was right there with me as I cried from the stress. They got into action and found resources for me through mutual aid from others. Whatever they could do to support me, they did. At that time, I didn’t even care about my dreams anymore. I wanted to quit and just go back. I had thoughts like -well maybe this is a sign. I’m not supposed to be here. They believed in my dream for me when I couldn’t, and I’m just beyond grateful.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I create content on social media about my experience as an abuse survivor. I was abused and cheated on by my former spouse after 10 years together. It was a devastating time as I navigated the demise of our marriage, and his infidelity with his boyfriend, whom he met in college. I grew up in the church and he was a pastors kid who became the worship leader. If that gives any indication of my background, you may surmise I also experienced church abuse. I witnessed lies and cover ups first hand which caused me tremendous pain. I began creating content to encourage other people in similar situations that this isn’t the end, and they are not alone. I didn’t know where to find resources, or hear people talking about the difficult moments as they were unfolding in real time. I am currently writing a book inspired by my story. In it I discuss religious trauma, patriarchy and misogyny. I just want to encourage people who are going at this alone that there are resources available and many others who can relate.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Grace and healing doesn’t mean making space for abuse to be in your life. When I started my healing journey, and sharing my process online it was very difficult for me to understand what that meant. I was torn between wanting to show grace, and feeling guilty for being angry. In the beginning, I was willing to allow toxicity in my life again. But at one point I realized that people only change if they want to, and you can’t force them to change. You have to love yourself and keep yourself healthy no matter what. Even if that means grieving the loss of someone who’s still alive.

Is there something you think non-creatives will struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can provide some insight – you never know who might benefit from the enlightenment.

People don’t understand why I keep talking about my experience online. Abuse is extremely isolating. I was often told by my ex-husband to “keep things between us.” Speaking about my abuse experience is healing. I finally get to share all of the things that I was told to stay quiet about. Many people think those who share are just reliving the trauma and aren’t moving forward. In reality, with every story people share, a piece of them is mended and they are able to help themselves and others. Our stories are powerful!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Laaniford.com
• Instagram: @laani.ford
• Other: TikTok [email protected]

Image Credits

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