We recently connected with La Tonya Davison and have shared our conversation below.
La Tonya, appreciate you joining us today. Who is your hero and why? What lessons have you learned from them and how have they influenced your journey?
“Everybody’s searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to. I never found anyone who’d fulfill my needs. A lonely place to be, and so I learned to depend on me.” Words written by the late-great Linda Creed for the song “Greatest Love of All.”
These words become truer as I get wiser. I’ve started to revisit song lyrics, books, and movies like Wizard of Oz, and realize we were shown that no other person can be a better hero than yourself. From the day we enter the world, we are the protagonists of a saga written in real time, moment to moment. I have to choose myself as my hero because the journey, like everyone else’s, is about overcoming many trials, healing emotional wounds, and figuring out how to make the story great on my own terms. No one else can exemplify my journey better or worse than I can.
The greatest lesson I’ve learned is we can conquer any difficult situation, which is to say we gain all of the lessons they offer and move on to new experiences lived with greater wisdom and contentment. When we seem to repeat challenging experiences, eventually we gain enough knowledge and understanding to make more balanced choices, increasing the chance to avoid unpleasant or harmful situations again. It may take many attempts, and years even, but heroes aren’t perfect, they are perfecting. If others choose to harm us, we are able even then, to overcome the circumstances and difficult emotions that result.
I’ve learned from my own experience, and that of others, the main barriers to overcoming emotional pain and hardships are negative self-perceptions, self-doubt, and feeling isolated from others. We are all unique yes, but the human story from birth to the end of life follows the same template. They were cheesy and cliche statements to me when I was younger, but as the songs and films tell us, believing in and loving yourself makes the hero great.
I’m inspired by the stories of others; however, the more I focus on what someone else is doing for better or worse, the more I tend to question my abilities by comparing or lose focus of my own goals. So, through my life and work, I encourage people to see themselves as a hero among other heroes.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Currently I provide personal coaching and therapy, stand-up comedy/improv, consulting, educational and motivational public speaking, DJing, marketing and promotional services. Products to come are online courses and merchandise via mentalspeakllc.com
I left active duty Navy service in 2010 after 14 years of service, and began the helping profession journey by attending nursing school. I completed a nursing assistant certification, but ultimately received master’s degrees in social work and sociology. I’m now working as a clinical psychotherapist, community educator, corporate trainer, and public speaker. My innate talent of dark-humor, story-telling has been influenced greatly by social work, because for all of the tragedy we encounter, there is a universal means of outlet, called comedy, which I perform throughout the year at venues, or during presentations. As a DJ and avid lover of music, I’m able to play music of all genres that helps people forget their troubles for awhile and immerse in sound vibration as a healing method.
I am proud of the ability to bring mental and emotional health to the public sphere in a light-hearted and straightforward way, while incorporating all of my talents and interests. I’d been encouraged over the years by many people who saw my individual talents and helped me formulate the platform of Mental Speak as it operates today.
It’s a dynamic business model with one mission to promote and evoke the healed hero in individuals. The business reflects
my personal evolution in that I allow it to become what it needs to be for the times, while adhering to the purpose of helping humanity. The pandemic highlighted the need for the services I provide especially in the education and corporate arenas.
If asked to present or speak, do a stand up comedy set, or play music, the premise is always to come and help shift perspective and energy toward balance for the attendees. I know without a doubt that suffering, no matter how dire the events that triggered it, becomes optional at some point, meaning we don’t have to endure it forever. As heroes of our own stories, we find the supporting characters and tools in our world to help us heal and accomplish the tasks presented to us. My business is the outlet for what I now see is my super power, speaking my mind in a way that helps me and others achieve personal and social growth.
I am most proud of people finding courage to step up and make their mental and emotional wellness a priority even when they’re afraid. I don’t encourage people to do anything I wouldn’t do, which is face deep-rooted fears that hold me back from the best version of myself. I know it requires a lot of faith and bravery to face undesirable aspects of the self, so I openly share my experiences from a place of empathy and understanding. As a result of this work, people are finding their own unique voices, talents, and abilities. I receive messages of people telling me they were inspired to pursue their dreams, to check off bucket list items, or to stop worrying about what others might think about them as they become their most authentic selves. I then help them envision turning their talents and abilities into a business or brand, ever paying it forward.
Can you talk to us about how your funded your business?
I am still learning the ins and outs of being a small business owner from filing quarterly taxes and reports, to marketing, and just remembering to document expenditures in Quickbooks. I consider myself in the early stage of generating and acquiring funding, so I’d be considered a newbie in that aspect; however, I feel perfectly adept in teaching how to overcome the fear of seeking capital. Fear is the reason the business has primarily been funded from my personal earnings.
I find it easy to discuss abilities and talents, but difficult to financially quantify what I can do. It’s also been a challenge because I feel very altruistic, in that I love this work, and always thought I would do this for free because it’s so vital. A couple of peers have shared the same sentiment, but I know many other entrepreneurs who have no qualms about putting a price on their services and then asking for it. I don’t believe this can be taught but has to be cultivated from a place of confidence in your product and your skills, followed by the belief there are people who simply want to help your vision come into fruition.
I think that funding a business with your earnings is not more or less virtuous than with donor funding, it just has to be done. I’m learning to develop the faculties for acquiring capital, which a lot of entrepreneurs seem to have, but I know that the main impediment has been perfectionism, fear of rejection for what I offer, and possibly that I would fail a financial contributor. Every hero has weaknesses, right? I’m still a work in progress. In the meantime, disposable income continues to build the foundation of the platform.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
When I realized that fear has been the sole blockage to personal and professional growth, I knew I needed a drastic experience to break out of the fear template. Therapy could only take me so far, and one can only read so many texts, or listen to so many gurus before action is needed.
In my case, skydiving did the trick. I have so far completed two tandem jumps, and 5 assisted (with instructor) solo jumps, with hopes to complete the initial licensing program for skydivers. The first time my instructor leaned us out of the plane for the tandem jump, I was jolted out of the mindset that there are limitations. Humans are simulating flying every day, boldly, and willfully. I knew that if fear of falling and at worst dying could be overcome, anything was possible. I don’t recommend this as a method for anyone, but for me, it’s been the motivational tool to keep trekking to my highest peak performance. The sport requires alertness, expectation that anything can go wrong, to have and study a backup plan, but mainly to enjoy the experience and gain new perspective.
I have since learned to meditate on the climb to 13,600 feet for the exit, to calmly and purposefully step out of the plane expecting to save myself and land safely. By applying the experience to building and maintaining a business, I trust that I can attempt whatever is necessary and know I have the means to do what keeps me afloat and surviving. When fearful thoughts creep in, I can literally say “you’ve jumped out of an airplane, what can’t you do?”
All of the success quotes become cliche, until you start to observe them play out in your life, and then they become validating gospel. Skydiving allowed me to switch gears from “maybe this will work out” to “this will work out if I just stay the course and do what needs to be done.” I can pivot fearlessly at any time knowing I will figure out any path I walk.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/la-tonya-davison-fort-worth-tx/722142
- Instagram: @mentalspeak
- Facebook: @mentalspeakllc
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mental-speak-llc-b387b0167/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXVEJjGIbogLTXAwD8Sbtyg
- Other: mentalspeakllc.com [email protected]
Image Credits
Holly Kuper Photography @LincAndRey_Photography