We recently connected with Kristen Murphy and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kristen, thanks for joining us today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.
My defining moment was spread out over a few years but I still refer to it as a defining moment. It really began years ago while working with clients in inpatient Substance Abuse treatment. I have always felt a strong connection to them on a much deeper level than I could explain. While maintaining professional boundaries, I was able to connect with their inner essence. Treating just their mental and emotional needs always felt a bit restrictive because I recognized each one as a soul with a higher purpose in spite of their struggles. This light a flame of desire to expand my career to a life coach. I became certified in Neuro Linguistic Programming and coaching in 2019. In early 2020, while on maternity leave with my third son, Covid came along and changed my perspectives in a major way; another defining moment. Having the flexibility of being home with my son, made me realize that a 9-5 was no longer my cup of tea and decided to get into a private therapy practice. A few months into 2022, I had several more of these “AHA” or defining moments. I started to consider doing more life coaching and in March 2022. I was awakened at 3 am with a divinely inspired message. I was “told” that I will be opening a life coaching and holistic center to help the community heal and reunite. By May, I signed and lease and I have been open since June 2022.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers
I began my career as a substance abuse therapist at just 19 years old, after I was hired during an internship at a psychiatric hospital. Shortly thereafter, I was “thrown to the wolves” when I started working in the city. I had no experience whatsoever and on my first day on the job, during group, the person training me walked out and left me to take over. The clients on the unit were HIV positive, court stipulated, homeless, with severe mental illness, including Schizophrenia and psychosis. I was terrified. We just sat there starting at each other for a moment and everything in me said to Get up and run out, but for some reason, instead, with a shaky voice, I just said, “I have no idea what I’m doing, so I will need you guys to help me”. And the level of compassion and kindness that that group of people showed me was astounding. It changed something in me that day. I saw beyond all the external superficial appearances and labels and identities we hide behind. I realized the key ingredients to a successful career and happy life were Empathy, Vulnerability, and Compassion. These qualities defy all superficial boundaries, stereotypes and bring such deep healing and connection. (I’m getting chills as I write about it) Anyway, I very quickly fell in love with those clients and stayed at that job for several years. For the following 20 years, I worked with people from every single walk of life imaginable and still found success using those same ingredients that I learned on day one. If I didn’t understand something a person was going through, I’d simply ask them what it was like so that I could learn. I have always had such a great deal of respect and admiration for all of my clients I encountered because I saw them for their souls. I held the hope that if they if I could see their inner light, in spite of their mistakes, imperfections, traumas and addictions, they may be able to recognize it too. I learned so much from my clients.
I even went back to grad school because something inspired me that a patient said during my group one day.
I loved my clients but I didn’t ever do as well with management or authority. I have left jobs frequently and sometimes abruptly due to being mismanaged.
I have always marched to the beat of my own drum, been called rebellious, incorrigible, non conformist, anti authority, and belligerent. I’ve been labeled, misdiagnosed, and ended up in places that were meant to tame my spirit. I believe that’s why I always enjoyed working with addicts, because they had unbridled souls that I could relate to.
As much as I loved what I was doing in my career, I always knew it wasn’t “it”. Something was lacking but I wasn’t quite sure what. I did a lot of my own “shadow work” and have always taken an interest in self improvement, spiritually and anything metaphysical. After going through my own dark night of the soul in 2005, I had a life changing experience happen on NYE 2006 that allowed me to experience a period of bliss and total oneness and connection with all of creation. The experience was short lived but It led me on a journey of spiritual and self exploration.
Life did distract me for several years. I had a son, got married, got divorced, had another son, got remarried, moved, then had another son. (Yes. In that exact order. I told you I March to my own beat🤷♀️)
In 2018, I left my full-time, stable job to go work at a private practice. That did not work out. But, it did make me realize for once and for all, that I wanted to become a life coach and I wanted to work for myself.
So while I was pregnant with my third son, I got my life coach certification, registered my LLC, and started to develop my website. Then a month after I had him COVID happened.
2020 became a very eye-opening experience for me on so many different levels. I had many ups and many downs. I was forced to go within once again to clear out my additional subconscious blockages. 2020 to 2022 was like a huge energetic and emotional purge and felt like 20 years of soul searching combined into two! It was PAINFUL! But it was necessary. I have shifted tremendously and continue to do so on a daily basis. I am not the same woman today that I was yesterday, and I will not be the same woman tomorrow that I am today. The transformation has been rapid.
This journey from 2020 that started out by reigniting my fighting, rebellious spirit, brought me full circle back to see beyond the illusion of separation and remember who I am. I had a vision of uniting all people It has been burning inside me since I was a young child. My holistic center will allow me to pursue my mission. This center will provide people a place to come together to heal. This Center is my divine calling. It all happened so very fast. I woke up at 3 AM at the end of March and I could not go back to sleep. Something said “you are going to open a holistic healing center to bring people together”. The excitement keep me up for the remainder of the night. I began searching for properties to rent. By mid May, I was divinely guided to the space that will now house the center. I found the place on a Wednesday, I signed a lease on a Thursday, and I had the keys that Saturday. I did not have a bunch of cash saved up to pursue this dream. I didn’t have a lot of support. There was no stopping me and that was clear to those around me. But guess what else I didn’t have; Fear! I chose to heed to a divine calling and I jumped, with nothing but the faith that I will find my wings on the way down. It is my intention, to guide others who may follow on this journey. To show other people that even on their darkest days, Their inner light is shining bright. It is my intention, to guide others back to their own intuition. It is my intention, to show others how to be unstoppable and how to conquer fear and thrive!
My purpose is to help people to rediscover their magic ✨🪄🧚♀️✨
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
I don’t talk much about this aspect of my life but, I started to lose my hearing in my mid 20s. It was manageable for the most part, until I became pregnant with my second son in 2014. Since then, it has progressed to the point that I am considered profoundly deaf. Most people think hearing aids are like glasses that correct your vision. They do not. They amplify sound. They don’t provide clarity of sound. Things sound louder. Muffled sounds, my barking dogs, my screaming kids. In fact, they can be pretty useless some days because if I’m tired, stressed, congested, or inflamed, my hearing gets even worse. It’s unpredictable but on rare occasions, I can hear the birds chirp. I live my life as if I’m underwater. That is how things sound to my ears.
I struggle to follow conversations in groups. Socializing with new people is tough especially if it’s in a loud setting. Focusing in to hear what a person is saying and trying to tune out loud background noise is exhausting. Sometimes it makes my fatigue so bad the following day, I can barely function. My family and kids often get frustrated with me for not hearing them and refuse to repeat themselves and it leaves me feeling left out. I struggle to understand my toddler. It’s tough to make new friends and connections because loud social settings exhaust my brain. I can’t go to movies, concerts, comedy shows or plays. I can’t hear music and I need closed captions on the TV.
When people find out what I do for a living, I get a funny look sometimes. I have been asked how I can effectively do my job without being able to fully hear.
Now, what is my point of saying all of this?
Because there are 1000 excuses not to follow your dreams.
Here is what I do know— my struggles do not define me.
I don’t define myself by any label and do not introduce myself as being “deaf”. I let people know that I wear hearing aids, because while I am having the experience of hearing loss, it does not define me, nor is it part of my identity.
It does not matter how many times I get knocked down, I get back up every time.
I show up in spite of how I’m feeling.
I get to chose what I focus on.
What I focus on creates my reality.
We are all navigating this human experience together and we are all doing the best we can.
We are programmed to hide behind a façade that we’re OK when some days we’re just not.
I’d like to normalize being vulnerable because it’s part of the human experience.
If you are not OK today, I see you. I hear you. Know that you are loved and whatever is going on, you are not alone.
We get to chose how we perceive things. We get to chose if we want to feel sorry for ourselves or find a way to turn our struggles into gifts.
When I lost my “hearing”, I gained the ability to hear with my heart. I learned to pick up on vibes and energy. I am forced to tune into my clients as they speak. They have my fully undivided attention so that I can hear every word of what they are saying. Because of being hyper attuned to them, I don’t only hear what they are saying, but also what they are not saying. I’ve learned to read body language and subtle cues. I notice if they move their eyes a certain way, if their posture changes, and how their tone fluctuates.
This “skill” became enhanced as a direct result of my hearing impairment.
Moral of the story:
If you want something bad enough you find a way.
If you don’t, you find an excuse.
It’s as simple as that.
So keep moving forward if you are struggling.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
Passion. Everything is about passion. I am not yet breaking even. I work one job to pay for my business expenses. I don’t struggle, but I don’t see the fruits yet of my labor. Most of the time, I don’t think at all about money or stress over finances. I LOVE what I do. I am living my dream. Passion has carried me through thus far and when I start to see the financial benefits, that will just be a huge bonus!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.empoweredlifecoaching.net
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