Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Koya Murphy. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Koya, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
My path to being a doula is not linear. I come from a background in massage therapy and Esthetician work. Although I had energy and skill for both jobs, there was a lack of passion that I could not quite place. That is until I found doula work. I was drawn in from the beginning but there is training and preparation that goes into being a doula, many do not realize. I was working full time as an Esthetician when I decided to focus mainly on my doula career but I needed to be able to have schedule flexibility. It was vital to expand my knowledge that I attended frequent births and prenatal/postpartum appointments. With complete financial income uncertainty, I took the leap to leave a financially secure full time position as an Esthetician to work on my passion. This was so intimidating to me. I have never not worked for a business where I knew my hours and I had a paycheck coming in on a schedule. It took me months before I finally convinced myself to quit. It truly was meant to be though because shortly after making the decision to leave my job security, I had acquaintances (my sister had just had a baby and was a part of a “new-mommy-group”) reaching out to me that were looking for nannies for their newborns. I met with some of the women my sister knew, and I explained my situation. One amazing family in particular saw mutual benefits in an arrangement that gave me so much flexibility with my doula schedule. I now work part time with them while I am a doula and a student midwife. This incredible family is what helps me dedicate my time and energy to aspire towards my dreams.
Koya, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
At just 17-years- old, shortly after I suddenly lost my father, I witnessed my first niece being born. My first birth experience. I was living in Green Bay, Wisconsin at the time and was dealing with a multitude of confusion and grief in my life at this particular time. Seeing the life of another human begin, I could not grasp all that was happening but I also could not take my eyes off of it. I wanted to understand everything that was happening and secretly spent hours of my life looking into births and women’s autonomy. And I say “secretly” because I hid how I felt deep in my heart for a long time. I lived in an area where medical science was the only way to be involved in births and I was uncomfortable with the sterile and strict rules of hospital settings. So I stuck to showing support to my friends being pregnant or having babies and reading books/articles online.
Fast forward two years and I moved to Austin where my curiosity was allowed and acceptable to bloom in a way out of “stereotypical” birthing stories. I joined GALS to just experience what it would be like to be a doula. I would go to workshops and conferences just to be around birth workers and see a glisp of their lives. During all of this time I was also becoming a massage therapist, Esthetician, crystal healer and yoga instructor. I was still in a state of confusion and misdirection of where my life was going. What I did know was that I wanted to get as much of a foundation into holistic health and wellness as possible. Further down the road, my sister found out she was pregnant with her first child and I knew that I wanted to be certified as a doula to be a part of her birth journey. And so I did it. I signed up for the DTI Full Spectrum Doula course and started the process to become a doula. After getting my Doula certification that is when I did more workshops and became a yoni steam practitioner, placenta encapsulation and a womb educator. I started to see how much our bodies are connected and how in different ways I could help. I don’t use all my certifications anymore but I do use all the knowledge. What I offer now is Birth & Abortion Doula support, Placenta Encapsulation and One-on-One Yoni Steam consultations, herbs for yoni steaming and labor/postpartum packages. I offer my clients many different ways to help them during their birth journey before and after. Not only do I use all my knowledge of 4- 5 years work in the wellness industry, but I remind women and their families about trusting their bodies and their choices. I give them the tools and resources to tap in within themselves to strengthen that communication muscle within themselves.
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
If I could go back in time, I would have chosen the same profession just sooner. I spent too much of my life second guessing myself and what I could provide to the world. Now that I do this work and have this flexibility and faith in this process, I have more faith in myself that I should have had all those years prior. Everything always works out for me. I know that may sound crazy or magic but it is true. There are times where this work is a financial, mental and time consuming pit- where you just feel like you can’t dig yourself out of it. But then the sun comes around to see another day and everything I was stressed about works out better than I could even imagine. I am human, so of course I wish things could go the way I want them to right away, but birth work has been my biggest blessing with learning to accept the things I cannot control. I challenge myself every day to go with the flow. Completely surrender to life.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
I feel like most of my journey I have had to be resilient. There are moments often, to this day, where I am completely exhausted. I need to keep precious stories as treasures to remind myself the reason I started this work in the first place. The story that sticks out to me the most is when my dad passed away. I lost my father five days before my 16th birthday. He was my glue, hero and inspiration while growing up. He was a gigantic support system for me and I felt incredibly lost without him. For a while I let that grief hold me down. I let it suffocate me. I made bad decisions and used different substances to numb my body. There was no real “aha” moment but one day I woke up and told myself I wouldn’t, and couldn’t, do this anymore. I couldn’t keep putting myself in bad situations and not caring about my own mental health. I had to change. I had to choose myself and want to heal from the grief I was living in. So I started the journey of climbing out of my grief, for myself. Today, I am not “completely” healed, I do not believe that anyone ever is but I try everyday to be a better version of myself than yesterday. I turn that grief that I succumbed to for so long, and I have turned into a sorrow and pain that I use to relate to others because human life is filled with pain and sorrow. It is a binding experience for us all and I use that to bring my clients in and allow them to feel me as a safe space. Resilience to me is not about getting over the tough life events, but learning who you are through them and choosing to continue your life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://womenempowermenthealer.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenempowermenthealer/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100076133726489