We recently connected with Kirsten Parker and have shared our conversation below.

Kirsten, appreciate you joining us today. What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

The guidance I give clients that consistently elicits AHAs and habit change and huge ripple effects is: How can you make it easy? I work with very smart, capable people. Read: They tend to overwork, push for perfection, and complicate things.

I was listening to an overwhelmed client once list out everything on her plate. This is something people think is helpful – so nothing falls through the cracks – but it’s one of the most stressful habits we have. This woman was almost assaulting herself with how much she had to do, and how hard it was all going to be.

I let her finish – invited her to take a deep breath – then asked, “Ok, so how are you going to make any of that easier?” Such a simple question, but one she hadn’t thought to ask. Like many of my clients, who are used to working hard, thinking things that come easy aren’t worth it, or are worried about being “lazy” if they look for ease!

She took this question and ran with it. She started making faster decisions instead of overthinking them. Kids needed new winter jackets: Bam. Ordered. Made it easy. Her husband had a last-minute work trip come up the same day her kids’ school got cancelled. Bam. Cancelled a non-essential meeting, got childcare for an essential one. Made it easy. She normally would have belabored these tasks and agonized over the many options to solve these problems, but she knew she didn’t HAVE to.

Over a few weeks, this mentality shifted her entire life experience. She started noticing other people making things so hard on themselves – and seeing how truly optional it was. This mindset empowered her to have more boundaries at work, and do more work she really loved, to have more fun and be on autopilot stress less. (And she stopped listing out her To Do’s to herself on repeat!)

If you’re looking for a way to feel more calm, grounded, focused and happy – start with this question: How can you make it easier? It can change everything!

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

Kirsten is a Decision Coach who, for the past 6 years, has been helping her clients, whom she lovingly refers to as “smartypants high-achievers,” to make clearer, faster, more aligned decisions.

Since our formal education in decision-making is practically non-existent, she found that most of her clients were indeed quite successful and confident, or at least looked that way, but they felt a lack of authority over their choices. They didn’t know how to navigate options without getting overwhelmed. Or what to do when fear of regret or getting it wrong got them stuck. Or how to even know what they really want, let alone own it unapologetically.

So she set out to build the most accessible, impactful resources on How the Hell to Make (and Love) Decisions that she could. She trained in Self-Compassion, Positive Psychology and Stress & Emotion Regulation, so she could help people learn to operate the heavy machinery that is the Human Brain & Body.

She developed the Conscious Decision System, which helps people organize their thoughts, consciously respond to fears, and take decisive action — even if they’re seemingly surrounded by dumpster fires and have no idea what’s going to happen next.

She works with people privately and in the Decision Masters Program, a small group coaching experience, in which people practice making small daily decisions and big life choices with total self-trust. She also hosts the Decision Masters Podcast.

Have you ever had to pivot?

I pivoted to a new career when, as many people do, I reached my breaking point. “Enough was enough,” and the scariness of the unknown was officially more attractive than staying in the known. I’d been hearing myself want different things for years, but I wasn’t listening to myself. (Sounds cheesy, but it’s true!)

But I never took action on those desires and complaints, because I was overwhelmed at the idea of figuring something else out. When the time came, however, and the show I was touring with on the Stage Management team ended, I was crystal clear: I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew I wanted out.

It took a while for me to accept that this was ok. It’s something I coach clients on regularly today: it’s easy to group decisions together, and not feel capable of making one choice (i.e. to leave a job) because you tie it to nine other choices (i.e., what you’ll do next, where you’ll find that work, how you’ll pay for everything in between, etc.)

Sometimes though, you have to take one step at a time, based on the information you have. When I started doing that, and developing a deep self-trust about what I wanted and what I believed I could handle, I made progress so much faster. I must have been unhappy in my work for over 3 years. And over 3 months, I made one decision at a time, from leaving Stage Management, to hiring a coach, to getting training, to starting my own business. I couldn’t have told you where I’d end up when I made that first decision – but deciding I didn’t need to was the best gift I could have given myself. Powerful decisions and tons of self-trust ensued!

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Being a human being! I think so much drama comes from thinking you’re not an expert, you have to get everything right, and there are millions of best practices you have to master before you can grow your business. None of these ideas are true or helpful!

The more I’ve calmed my inner anxious chihuahua and been able to show up in the world as a real human, and make genuine connections with people, the more my business has grown – in the direction I want, full of aligned people, no less.

If I ever feel tension or behind or alone, that’s always my cue to breathe and remember the fastest (and most satisfying, enjoyable) way to move my business forward is to connect with other people in a non-pressured, non-urgent, non-weirdo way. It always works and it always makes my day better ;)

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.kirstenparkercoaching.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kpcoaching/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kirstenparkercoaching
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirstenparker/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@decisioncoach
• Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thedecisioncoach

Image Credits
Paige Ray Creative