We were lucky to catch up with Kindra Riber recently and have shared our conversation below.

Kindra, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?

After a highly contested divorce and custody battle that lasted over 3 years and led to parental alienation between my two sons and myself, I found by sharing my story, there were many more parents out there suffering from the same trauma. Changes needed to happen and I decided to take action.

Parental alienation is a strategy whereby one parent intentionally displays to the child unjustified negativity aimed at the other parent. The purpose of this strategy is to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent and to turn the child’s emotions against that other parent.

Prior to legal separation, I was a very active Mom, being a Cub Scout Leader, involved in PTA, volunteering with school events and attending Halloween, Valentine, Christmas parties and more. I also made sure even though the boys had summer birthdays that I worked with their teachers every year to celebrate with their classmates sometime throughout the school year. I organized sporting calendars including football, basketball, soccer, and signed them up for extracurriculars that they were interested in including horse camps, STEM camp and Science fairs. All while holding down a professional sales and marketing career.

We had many family vacations including, visits to the family lake in Michigan, Florida trips and a Disney cruise while we were married. After the separation, I even took the boys for spring break by myself to St. Louis to start establishing some new memories and traditions. My family surprised them later that same year with a trip to Universal Studios.

During our 10+ years of marriage, the boys had a relatively normal upbringing and our extended families were very involved in the boys’ lives. Birthdays involved both sides of the family and grandparents came to every school event and extracurricular activity.

However, after a series of events that involved unsubstantiated lies and no support from the court system, that all changed and has led to my complete loss of rights and relationship with my boys. It began with a protection order, which are used as weapons to gain custody, based on false allegations, restricting me from contacting the boys. During that time of no contact, the alienating parent uses psychological and emotional tactics to withdrawl the children from the targeted parent, a perfectly fit parent.

The current state law in Ohio allows for a preponderance of evidence in domestic court (custody and divorce), which is an assumption that something could have happened–not that it did happen– and because of that, I lost all contact with my children. During that time of separation, the children were psychologically influenced by their father and filled with lies.

The first time I reconnected with my sons after 7 months, my oldest was resentful. He thought my family and I abandoned them for a year because he was told we didn’t love them. During that same visit, my youngest son cried and said he looked to the stars and prayed for us every night. He was confused and didn’t understand why he couldn’t see me for so long.

And that is how my story begins. How I decided to use my story to make changes for others. I decided to make my mess my message.

Once I started to tell my story publicly, I experienced an enormous outreach of parents who have experienced the same thing and lost contact with their children. So besides coaching targeted parents, I also work with our national parents organization and state representatives to re-write and propose new changes to the custody law to prevent this from happening in the future.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

I am a mom of two boys, (ages 11 and 15) and currently reside in Ohio. I provide divorce and life coaching through my business called, Kindra Co. Besides providing coaching to parents who divorce, I specialize in parental alienation and the local laws that govern our custody situations. In addition, I co-host a podcast show called The Aftermath: The Epidemic of Divorce, Custody and Healing.

I help parents understand where they are in the alienation process and help to guide them in their journey. Divorce can be messy, but stealing our kids is a whole other level. It can’t always be won through the court systems because it is as much or more a psychological strategy that one parent plays against another. We need to learn how to address concerns we see with our kids and find the RIGHT counselors and connections to help us prevent losing contact altogether.

Sometimes we just need someone who understands our situation, not a therapist who is clueless about the alienation process. That’s why I am here. Some days are so hard. Others are easier, but no matter what, only the one who has been through the trauma we have, can relate.

My podcast focuses on interviewing experts that can help explain the alienation process, how to heal, how to speak to your children, and how to handle a narcissistic ex. Our mission to let others know they are not alone. There is a community of people here to help.

As a legislative advocate, I am fighting for the rights of victims of parental alienation. I am a proponent of the accusing party in a domestic dispute to provide clear and convincing evidence before the court interferes with parenting time and holding those that make false accusations accountable by bearing the burden of proof. In addition, when a couple separates, it should be standard for each parents to be equally involved in their child’s life, just like when they were married. It has been proven that children grow up best with both parents involved. Equal decision making rights as well as equal parenting time, determined by the family, (not the court), is in the best interested of the children. Currently the law gives one parent custody and the other visitation. This needs to change!

Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?

Educate yourself. Not only on your divorce, but how you can reshape your life. I like the old fashioned way with physical books where I can make notes and highlight important items I want to refer back to. But you could also listen to a book while driving to work or read in front of the pool on an electronic device. No matter how you get it done, get it done!

My favorite author is Rachel Hollis. She is real. She is in your face real. She gives it to you like no one else would and she can relate. These aren’t just books you read once, but you keep and read over and over again to improve. Improve on your life skills, leadership skills, parenting skills, relationship skills and much more. I love those books that challenge you and make you “speak it” into existence, much like your affirmations.

Also, right after my divorce/separation, I remember reflecting and re-evaluating my life. I picked up a book called “Grace Not Perfection” by Emily Ley. She discusses in there that it might not matter that the laundry isn’t done or the house isn’t clean or that you don’t have plans for dinner, but you are in the moment where you are supposed to be and just relax and enjoy it. This book taught me a lot including not to hold yourself to such high standards that you aren’t experiencing the good moments, the everyday moments that will turn into treasured memories.

As far as leadership, there is no one better than John Maxwell in my opinion. In addition to the hundreds of books he has written that you can read and re-read, there is a podcast his staff does that highlights some of his seminars and then they spend time reflecting on what he said and relating it to your life. This is a daily listen for me.

How’d you meet your business partner?

My co-host for the podcast and I met through our life coach. She is well connected and saw the similarities between our stories and thought our personalities would be ones we could really “jive” in a podcast. Turns out, she was right. In the last six months, we have had a total of 4,000 downloads from listeners in Canada, Singapore, United Kingdom, United States, Australia, Spain, France, New Zealand and more.

Mick, my co-host, and I interview divorce experts including therapists, attorneys, mentors, counselors, and more to help those going through a high-conflict divorce or custody battle get answers to their questions. We provide a real stance from a man’s point of view and women’s point of view. It’s real, not rehearsed.

We connect once a week on the podcast, live and speak our minds. It’s a great relationship that helps us both build our businesses.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.kindraspeaks.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theaftermathhealing/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aftermathofdivorce
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kindra-riber-a76097a/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG0Bcw1Wanl-8XwGBTxyc9g