We recently connected with Kia Silva Psy.D. and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kia , thanks for joining us today. Can you recount a time when the advice you provided to a client was really spot on? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)
My favorite advice that I offer stemmed from advice that my therapist gave me. I was in session lamenting on how impossible it was to keep up with all of life’s demands and competing roles. My therapist looked at me, with lots of kindness and empathy and said, “When you’re juggling and a ball drops it’s ok, you can pick it back up!” As simple as that advice was, I felt so much relief in that moment, and it helped me have more self-compassion.
From a young age we receive messages that tell us that if we can’t keep up with what is often an unnatural pace, we’ll get left behind. I say that not keeping up might be your cue to get off at this stop and find or create another path. This doesn’t have to mean major life changes; a new path could mean the same job, but wearing clothes that represent you. It could mean a new playlist as you drive with the windows down in the carpool line, or volunteering for one less role at work.
I encourage others, and myself, to use the ball dropping moments as opportunities to examine whether this is a ball that’s meant to be in your airspace. Whether things are going really well or really wrong, pause and evaluate your internal and external landscape. Notice where (and when) you are, what you’re doing, and who’s around. Notice what your body is telling you about your needs and your desires in these moments. By tuning in, you’ll strengthen your intuition and identify places/spaces to lean in, to let go, and to be still. Some of those balls are better off left on the ground.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I’m a licensed psychologist and founder of Atlanta Prosper Psychological Services LLC. My vision of global prosperity begins with empathy, which ultimately helps clarify one’s values, challenge destructive patterns, and promote growth. I have experience working in different capacities with diverse populations and settings in Connecticut, Chicago, and Atlanta. My therapeutic style is eclectic, but I most strongly identify with the transpersonal and person centered approaches.
My specializations include anxiety and mood disorders, eating disorders, preparation/integration therapy, and psychological assessment. Although I enjoy working in all of those areas of treatment, my real passion is journeying with people, regardless of their presenting issue, as they navigate difficult life transitions and identify purpose and meaning in their lives.
One thing I’m excited about and pretty proud of, is growing into my comparatively new role as a postdoctoral supervisor. My supervision style emphasizes empowerment and support. I strive to provide an environment that helps postdocs identify desired areas of development and strategize on how to best serve their clients. Similar to my clinical work, I love having the opportunity to work with postdocs to increase confidence in their strengths and unique perspectives as they develop their identity as psychologists. I’m also invested in collaborating to increase accessibility and diversity on caseloads, which benefits clients and clinicians alike!
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
My resilience came to fruition when I learned to redefine the word. I learned that sometimes resilience is taking a nap on the deck with my cat when my nervous system and my checklist aren’t in sync. Sometimes resilience is grounding in the rain after realizing that my little one’s very public tantrum (proud Autism mama here!) was just an expression of the incongruous energies in the room. Sometimes, resilience is showing what I thought were my shameful shadows and letting friends love me and hold me as I cry. Resilience is love and radical acceptance of the parts of myself that I hate and judge and then remembering that the hateful judgmental parts of me need love too. Resilience means that I keep getting up, but maybe not right now.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
I had to unlearn the belief that it was easier to say yes and figure out the how, and often the why, later. I tell people that I didn’t learn how to say no until I had my first son and I was too tired to say yes. I didn’t learn to really mean no until my second son was born! There were plenty of signs that I needed to slow down before motherhood, but I was a master at painting pretty colors on the receptacle that hid my discarded emotions. My insecurities wouldn’t let me show or even fully acknowledge to myself when I felt invisible, undervalued, or stretched too thin.
I help my clients notice and engage with the early, subtle signals and trip-ups along the way, that suggest that change could be needed. At the same time, I honor that the face planting kind of moments don’t have to define them and don’t have the power to minimize their worth. I’ve learned that choosing ease can be beautiful, but choosing avoidance rarely leads to an easy road.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.atlantaprosper.com/new-blog/
- Instagram: Dr. Kia Silva (@theprosperdr) • Instagram photos and videos
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/E9mUnbeTW1XD51Vp/?mibextid=hu50Ix
- Other: Postdoc link https://www.midtownpsychotherapy.org/join-us