We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kenji Jones-Lane. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kenji below.

Hi Kenji , thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear the story behind how you got your first job in field that you currently practice in.

I had just begun graduate school to obtain my Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. I was in the very first class of my program, full of hope and promise. While my professor was doing the normal first day of class routine (introducing himself, reviewing the syllabus, and sharing his why), he mentioned that we, the students, would not be able to make money in our field until we receive our degree. Wait….WHAT? I was in a 3-year program….and your telling me that I’m not able to earn any money until after I graduate-3 years from now? To say that I instantly started to rethink my choices would be an understatement! I didn’t remember anything else from my first day of school, only that I was going to be a TRUE struggling graduate student for the next 3 years!

Fast forward to the last exam of the last day of the semester. I had completed my final and the professor decided to share during the last 15 minutes of the class. She shared information about her educational journey and mentioned that we could find work while in school. The entire class was in amazement and hands went up all around the room! “We were told that we couldn’t work until after we graduated!”, one student said. Everyone in class agreed in unison. My professor said, “don’t you all have your Bachelors degree? You are able to get an internship now and make money with your current degree!” I instantly took a sigh of relief and tuned into EVERYTHING she said! She told us that her agency was hiring and I immediately applied. I ended up getting an unpaid internship that turned into a paid internship, which ultimately turned into a permanent position that allowed me to complete my 3,000 hours to get licensed…all while maintaining an income! Valuable lessons were learned, and reminders were ignited, during my first semester: a closed mouth doesn’t get fed, never listen to one side of a story, and always trust God!

Kenji , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

While in junior high and high school, I experienced bullying, racism, emotional, and physical abuse. I also firsthand experienced an epidemic that destroyed black families everywhere. Heartbreak, abandonment, and neglect were all familiar elements during my youth and adolescent years, and I handled them the only way I knew how: with suppression, spontaneous actions, and irrational decision making.

I deflected my pain and hid my scars that were both physical and emotional. My aspirations and dreams were placed on hold in 1994 when I dropped out of college to care for my family. That decision was made with no hesitation on my part because, in my mind, my family was priority.The quiet whispers, criticism, and judgement that followed left me feeling empty and hopeless. I couldn’t fathom how people I trusted and loved could be so cruel! After having my children and returning to school, a requirement of the nursing program was to be able to commit to a rigorous schedule that would prevent me for caring for my family so, once again without hesitation, I declined going to school.

My grandmother was furious with me but there was no way I could successfully commit to my dreams and leave her without care. I made her a promise and changed my plans, but who knew that a season of heartbreak, grief, and unbearable pain would ensue? One by one, those that supported, encouraged, and empowered me, left my life unexpectedly. Losing loved ones is never easy but when you lose them in a rapid succession of one another, and still have to keep going all while being strong for others, is an extremely difficult task.

My goals to complete my education to make my family proud were often disrupted by pain, sadness, and depression. Within seven years, I lost ten relatives, 3 being both of my parents and my grandmother. As an only child, I can’t begin to convey the emptiness and pain I’ve experienced, but still, I advance forward. Emotions and memories sometimes attempt to cripple me, but I remember my purpose and that I am more than a conqueror, so I refuse to stop fighting. My path has not been easy, filled with many twists and turns but I truly believe that without the detours, I wouldn’t be where I am today, my journey has just begun!

I provide psychotherapy services to under-served communities. I specialize in individual and group therapy, dealing with issues surrounding trauma, mental health disorders, couples, and marriage and family concerns. I am proud to be a Black female therapist that works in the community where I was raised, bringing mental health awareness to those in need, removing the stigma, and providing a better understanding. The field of mental health lacks knowledge in the Black community and I want to provide a sense of familiarity to my community by being that person that looks like you, that can relate to your story, and understand your point of view.

! would like my potential clients and followers to know that I am working hard to demystify the myths surrounding therapy and provide a safe space where those who are overlooked and ignored can feel accepted and heard.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I deflected my pain and hid my scars that were both physical and emotional. My aspirations and dreams were placed on hold in 1994 when I dropped out of college to care for my family. That decision was made with no hesitation on my part because, in my mind, my family was priority. The quiet whispers, criticism, and judgement that followed left me feeling empty and hopeless. I couldn’t fathom how people I trusted and loved could be so cruel! After having my children and returning to school, a requirement of the nursing program was to be able to commit to a rigorous schedule that would prevent me for caring for my family so, once again without hesitation, I declined going to nursing school, a dream that I had embraced since high school, to care for my family.

It isn’t easy to put your dreams on hold but I did it twice with no hesitation or doubt. I heard the whispers and the felt the judgement, but I did what I felt was right. I left school in 1994 and returned 14 years later, as a mother and wife. Walking back onto a college campus with responsibilities and life lessons under my belt was very intimidating. I was immediately humbled in the admissions process when I entered to meet my counselor. I shared that I had completed classes awhile back and was now attending college to “finish and get my degree”. I was politely told that my classes had “expired” and I needed to start over.

Another subtle reminder of my past slapped me in the face at the financial aid office when I was told that I was on academic probation…from 1993. I was unable to receive any financial assistance because of my academic performance from 1993 and my all of units had expired. I felt defeated and embarrassed and while it would have been easy to walk away, I knew the Kenji from 1993 had matured and had a bigger purpose. I stayed at school and completed my first semester on the Dean’s honor roll with a 3.82 GPA.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

I know that being transparent and acknowledging that I’m a human that makes errors is most helpful for succeeding in my field. This line of work requires patience, forgiveness, and empathy for myself before I can extend it to others. It also requires a strong sense of understanding, humbleness, and honesty. It’s easy to point out the faults and shortcomings in others but being a therapist demands that I look in the mirror everyday and accept my own faults and shortcomings first. Therapy is not a career that can be manipulated, it has to be nurtured and developed with exposure and personal experiences

Contact Info:

• Website: www.kjoneslmft.com
• Instagram: dr_kayjaylmft
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100072385280705
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/kenji-m-jones-lane-psyd-lmft-1904934
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYQr6MPWLeepk-uPvSnLUqQ