We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kelsey Eide. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kelsey below.
Kelsey, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
Before I knew how to read, write or to tie my shoes I had a great idea of what I was meant to do here on planet Earth. One of my clearest childhood memories was looking into the mirror as I watched myself softly singing into a faux rose I was using as a microphone. After my mom finished helping me practice a piece from my beginner piano book, I rewarded myself by composing my own song, a simple tune not more than twenty seconds called, “What a Nice Day”. During a kindergarten math class my teacher incorporated playdough and popsicle sticks to make the lesson fun. I decided to use this opportunity to make a doll (which I later sold to my neighbor). I created that playdough doll with so much passion and conviction, my teacher couldn’t help but take a moment to pause her role as an authoritarian and praise my sweet rebelliousness. Though I had the clarity of what I wanted to do – create art – even as a child I felt like I had to be careful about it. I could only claim this dream so much, so often, and with so many people. My mom recalls my teacher telling her that she was concerned I wasn’t making friends in school. I remember spending play-time laying on the carpet by the teachers desk and staring at the ceiling, happily daydreaming in an uninterrupted space of possibilities.
As I got older, the pressure to dream in privacy increased. I came to learn that doing what your soul yearns for in front of others is a brave act that can be met with shards of other’s broken or repressed dreams. I also remember thinking that school does not have nearly enough time or space for creating and far too many instructions. However, I found moments, places and opportunities where I could happily create amongst others. Sometimes at the “right” time, like in art class, and sometimes, at the “wrong” time, like doodling during science or using my creative writing skills to attempt and distract the teacher from the actual assignment requirements not being met. There were also those rare moments somewhere in between where I sang for someone and got the reaction I was hoping for in their eyes and words.
Luckily, I had a sister who was a brave creative and saw every person as a prospective creative collaborator regardless of their desire to be one or not. Her contagious enthusiasm would often result in people getting out of their comfort zones to nurture their creative spirit in the name of being part of her creative vision. Luckily, as her sister, this involved me getting out of my introverted shell and being part of performances and projects as an actor, writer, performer, artist, or singer with a designated role and responsibility.
After graduating from university, I taught English in Korea which also ended up being one of my life’s best decisions. Although it was extremely difficult, being alone in a foreign place gave me an opportunity to really get to know myself outside of the confines of accumulated life beliefs I didn’t think to question in the environment I grew up in. After I finished teaching for the day, I filled my time by playing the ukulele. As I started making this a part of my routine, songs started flooding out of me. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, but the influence of it being a routine part of my life in my own space and energy made me realize how important it was to me. It felt like it came from such a beautiful part of myself which I later realized was the magnificent feeling of being in my purpose.
After my teaching contract came to an end I visited a friend in Cambodia who mentioned someone they knew did a ten day long silent meditation retreat. I had been reading about Buddhism and immediately thought it was something I should do. Turns out, it was extremely difficult. I remember questioning my sanity and crying amidst many existential crises. The day it was over I swore it was terrible to ever do that to myself. However, the more time that passed the more I realized how valuable the experience truly had been. After a few days of silent meditation, I had realized something: I was going to die. When? I was not sure, but the silence forced me to really come to terms with my mortality. I realized my perception of death was more in line with something that would eventually happen to the person that will be me at the time rather than something I, and everyone else, will inevitably experience. I had a strange feeling of imagining myself in my death bed, and this gave me the insight of knowing what I want to do most before I die and that was following my dreams. More specifically, sharing my songs with the world. Although thinking about death can be misperceived as something taboo and depressing, I realized life becomes so much richer when we deeply understand our days are numbered.
A few years later I found myself in China working as a TV presenter for an education company. While I was there, I found out my sister had passed away. On her journey of following her dreams, she experienced a lot of hardships which combined with mental health struggles lead to a drug addiction. When she became a version of herself who no longer wanted to be the actor or comedian she once dreamt of, I only saw glimmers of the sister I grew up with. Though I understand everyone has the right and freedom to change and evolve I couldn’t help but think the heartbreak of no longer following her dreams contributed to some self-destructive habits. She was always a person who wholeheartedly believed in people and encouraged them to do whatever their heart desired. As I have gotten older I’ve realized we often give people what we want the most. Through this loss I was reminded that life is not guaranteed. I have precious memories of sharing my voice with my sister, her crying when I played her songs I had written and recorded during my travels. Her belief in me fueled me, and creating music became a way to feel connected and honor her, to make her proud knowing I am fighting to create songs that will touch souls and remind them to follow their dreams, and connect with themselves deeply, too.
Following this dream has certainly not come without its price. It’s a path that is not linear, very lonely, and can trigger unsolicited lectures while you try and learn your way. I have been taken advantage of, sacrificed financial stability, and have had to learn many skill sets so beyond my comfort zone to continue and improve enough to make this happen. The periods of self doubt are hard, and when things go wrong the thought of what you put your whole self into not working is a terrifying experience. However, I have also learned the value of commitment, through the ups and downs, to a higher purpose. It provides a relationship with myself that feels so pure. I have learned that projects can fail, but when you are following your purpose, you get back up and try again knowing that you are working to be the best version of yourself and to die happily knowing you gave what you came here to give. More than just writing songs, I create from a place of what has made my life profound, from a place of loving people and wondering what we all need, a way of sharing the medicine of my soul with the world from a place so full of love and beauty. Even as I write this, I felt a sense of calm wash over me. A calm knowing this is the gift I am born to give, and to give it provides peace. Though it can feel risky, in moments of peace and clarity I realize the magnitude of possibilities we are given as humans. We are taught many limitations by society, and though we are in fact limited to a certain number of breaths, infinite possibilities for our dreams exist in every moment. In these times of clarity, I realize the peace of taking the risk and the cost of a life lived unfulfilled. If I have any advice to give to anyone it’s this: live from the death bed back. If you know what you want, taking the risk ends up being far less risky than a life of not trying.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Hi! I’m Kelseidoscope [Kelsey Eide]. I’m Canadian singer-songwriter whose mission is to create music with a lens to heal and inspire. “Kelseidoscope” is not only a play-on-words via my name but is indicative of my process as a musician: repeated reflection. I dig deep into life’s beauty and trials offering positivity, hope or emotional processing. I often make songs as solutions to the many challenges or dark aspects of being a human. More than just lyrics, I create songs with the emotional landscape and beautiful feelings that were the antidote or clarity to my struggles. I think it’s important to also be opened to what I channel without a strict lens of needing it to be a solution, but I am most proud of the authenticity that comes through my work. North America can be a very superficial place, so maintaining a connection with myself and sharing that with others can act as a safe haven of authenticity for others, too. I’m an artist with a humanitarian heart, and I think that’s what sets me apart.
In your view, what can society to do to best support artists, creatives and a thriving creative ecosystem?
I have a bachelor of arts in community development, so I am very passionate about this topic! There are many things we can do, first being: changing our perceptions of artists and having more value for the role art plays in society. We should strive to be a progressive society that equips people with the strategies and tools needed to create a succesful and stable career in the arts. I also think we should create more jobs for creatives as it would greatly benefit society. Artists beautify, entertain, and innovate – let’s create opportunities for them to do so! If we think a little outside the box, we can use all of those things to improve society and solve the most pressing of societal issues. I believe in the importance of a strong safety net in general, so we should work towards a society with not only no starving artists, but no starving people. There is plenty of research that shows the benefits living in society that strives to help everyone.
Is there mission driving your creative journey?
I’d eventually like to make a charity called, “Sense for Change”. This charity would raise awareness and funds to issues that matter through music and the arts. I’d like to reach a level of success as a singer-songwriter before I persue this, though!
Contact Info:
- Website: www.kelseidoscope.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/kelseidoscopeofficial
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Kelseidoscopeofficial
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kelseidoscope
Image Credits
Phil Reg