Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kelly Mathews. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Kelly, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
When I entered a work in the “Insights II” show sponsored by the Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation. Being accepted into the show and receiving the grant that went with it opened my eyes to concept of Bipolar Disorder being a creative superpower. It is also where I met so many amazing and talented individuals and inspired me to start my series “Being Bipolar in a Polarized World”.
Kelly, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I was recently blessed to have my first major solo show this past winter at The Art Center Highland Park in Highland Park, IL (Nov. 19th, 2021 – Jan 2nd, 2022). It was titled “Being Bipolar in a Polarized World.” This project is partially supported by an Individual Artists Program Grant from the City of Chicago Department of Cultural Affairs & Special Events, as well as a grant from the Illinois Arts Council Agency, a state agency, through federal funds provided by the National Endowment for the Arts. This is the premise of the show- “How do I define what being Bipolar feels like? Can I tell when an episode is coming on? Have I developed coping mechanisms to deal with them? These are the questions I routinely get when I tell my friends about my “illness.” I’ve never really been sure what to say… You see, this is and has always been, my normal. I can’t even begin to imagine what your normal is to compare it to. This exhibit is my attempt to answer these questions in the language I know best.”
When I originally retired from training horses and returned to art full time in 2014, I focused on political and activist art. I told people I knew well about my bipolar disorder, but I wasn’t outspoken about it. Then I came across a national call for art from the Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation. They were offering purchase award grants to 20 artists with bipolar disorder for their Insights II exhibition in Chicago. I was kind of shocked that there was an art exhibit for people exactly like me. I immediately entered and was blessed to have my encaustic painting “The Disintegration of American Empathy” accepted into the show (Zolla Lieberman Gallery Chicago, IL Oct. 2018). I was then asked by Joyce and Dusty Sang, the founders of RLSBPF, if I would be willing to speak to the Chicago Tribune about the exhibit. Of course, I was honored! I did the interview, she took the pictures and video, and that was that. Or so I thought. Imagine my shock when the following Sunday I saw my face plastered across the front page of the Tribune’s Metro section with the headline “Bipolar is Not a Death Sentence!”
Well, I was “out.”
And the response was amazing.
The calls, texts, and emails from those who had no idea about my illness were so supportive and positive that I was encouraged to do my first art piece directly about my bipolar disorder. I made a large encaustic tryptic titled “Self Portrait of a Bipolar Artist” and entered it into the Women’s Caucus for Art National Juried Competition. It, and another piece I entered, were both accepted (Feb. 2020).
On the night of the opening something wonderful happened. People kept coming up to me asking questions about bipolar disorder. Many had friends or family diagnosed with it and were not sure how to behave around them. Somehow, because I was an artist doing work about it, they felt comfortable asking me.
This gave me the idea to do a complete body of work titled “Being Bipolar in a Polarized World.” This gave me the courage to apply for my first grant to fund the project.
Winning the grant from the City of Chicago and Illinois Art Council Agency (2021) got me an offer for my first solo show at a major art institution, The Art Center Highland Park, Highland Park, IL Nov. 19th, 2021 – Jan 2nd, 2022.
And the response to the show was the stuff that dreams are made of.
I met so many wonderful people also diagnosed with mental illness. They told me that they finally felt heard. They felt understood. They felt hope.
I also met people completely unaffected by mental health issues who told me they had a completely new perspective on the illness. Two weeks after the opening I received an email from someone who had been at the show. Her neighbor had a bipolar episode during her son’s baseball game. She told me that because of what she had seen and learned at my show she was able to help diffuse a situation that otherwise could have turned ugly.
Immediately following the close of my show in Highland Park I had my life-size encaustic diptych “Dear Texas & Dear Supreme Court” juried into National Women’s Caucus for Art 50th anniversary show (Feb 2022). The show was heavily covered in the media with spots on ABC and CBS news and featured in the Chicago Reader.
Unfortunately, as often happens to me after a prolonged series of “highs,” I crashed into a bleak depressive state. I had just received two rejection letters, one for an exhibit proposal and one for a grant I really needed to fund new work. My friend took me to Chicago Art Expo to try and snap me out of it.
We stopped by a booth to talk with a gallery owner my friend knew. She mentioned my work and my show. He looked at me and asked, “Do you really have bipolar disorder?” Me – “Yes, I do.” Him – “Hmmmm, who am I talking to right now?”
I just froze.
Not because I didn’t have a million comebacks for this person, but because I couldn’t hear past the screaming in my head.
It screamed THIS!
THIS is why you do what you do.
Because the world is still full of THIS.
I was asked to give a short speech to the major donors at the annual Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation dinner (May 2022). I told them this story and asked them to help be the change, to help erase the stigma, to change THIS. Afterwards I was approached by none other than First Lady Margaret Trudeau, who hugged me and asked me to never stop doing what I’m doing. They have also made me their featured artist with shows scheduled this year in Chicago, Palm Beach, FL and Dallas, TX. I am also honored to say that the Ryan Licht Sang Bipolar Foundation has recently named me their Artist in Residence!
So, back to work I went. The next week I sent out three more proposals. A week later I got a call from Northwestern University.
Universities have always been my ultimate audience. Most of us with mental illness will have our first major episode between the ages of 18 and 23. We go from being “moody” teenagers to something that is not quite right. To score a solo show at one as prestigious as Northwestern is amazing! But even at a university as prestigious as Northwestern, students have told me that they are completely unable to get an appointment with a licensed therapist. During the exhibit, I had a meeting with a group of students who have started a chapter of “Active Minds,” a campus wide mental health support group. We did an artist Q&A about tricks that I have learned over my lifetime with Bipolar that I use to de-escalate and diffuse my worst days. With years of therapy and an unwavering commitment to taking my medication I have accomplished a level of “normality” and joy that enables to me fully function in all levels of society. My purpose is to share my story and give hope to those that are still struggling. Anxiety and depression can be symptoms of mental illness, in which outside stimuli or cause is not required, or may be situational, in direct response to a given event, but the thing is – they feel the same! My experience in coping with anxiety stemming from Bipolar may be a valuable resource to a person experiencing situational anxiety.
My current project is titled “I Am So Much More.” This project stems from a show I curated on mental illness. Over half of the participants requested to have their works shown under a pseudonym because their bosses, coworkers, family, or friends didn’t know that they had been diagnosed with mental illness. They were afraid of the stigma. This part of the series will consist of 40 portraits of accomplished people with Bipolar disorder, but just their eyes. I love eyes, they’re so personal and anonymous at the same time. Overlaying these eyes are 30 – 40 words that describe the person’s accomplishments, excluding the words “Bipolar” and “Mentally Ill.” These portraits will be 4 feet wide and 2 feet high. The goal is to fill a room with our eyes staring back at you, challenging you to erase the stigma of mental illness.
My recent exciting news is that I have just received a grant from the Illinois Art Council to help fund this project! Yay! This is perfect timing, as I have just been given the dates for my next solo show at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. If you are in Madison, WI from June 26th to September 15th, please stop by to see my work at Gallery 1308!
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
As a working artist with Bipolar Disorder, the key thing I’ve learned is to be completely open and honest with both myself and others! With myself, I need to constantly be aware of my physical limits. A good manic episode can get a lot of work done, but if I push myself too far, I can tip over the edge that can take weeks to recover from. With others, especially young people struggling with their mental health, it’s especially important to be completely honest. I never tell them that everything will be alright. The truth is that many of us don’t make through the struggle. All I can say is that I understand, they are not alone, and share my stories of similar thoughts and situations.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
Quite simply that because I was diagnosed with a mental illness, that didn’t mean that I was “damaged” or not as good as everybody else. Growing up in small town Iowa in the 1970’s and 80’s, nobody even admitted that mental illness existed. You were told to get your shit together and get on with it. Anyone with addiction or behavioral problems was thought to be under-disciplined. With years of therapy and unwavering commitment to taking my medicine, I can now see my Bipolar as a creative superpower! I know that I see and experience things a little differently, but in a world that seems to get more rigid and belligerent in their views, perhaps a little different is just what we all need.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.arrivisteart.wordpress.com
- Instagram: @arrivisteart
- Facebook: @arrivisteart
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-mathews-098a88235/
- Twitter: @arrivisteart
- Youtube: @kellymathews5977
Image Credits
Michael Coakes