We recently connected with Kaylie Pacini and have shared our conversation below.

Kaylie, appreciate you joining us today. It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

I have always had a love of acting, and since I was little I knew it was my calling. I am originally from a small town in Utah, I love home however it’s not necessarily the place to start up an acting career. So after I graduated High school I applied for college in LA. My mom and family have always been very supportive of me and my passions so when I told her about my audition she was thrilled. When I told everyone else it was a mix of reactions, there were the people who I looked up to told me I was throwing my life away, not being realistic, and started up saying I couldn’t do it. Hearing that from the people I loved was heartbreaking, however the support and love from the people who believed in was so overwhelming, it pushed me to prove the haters wrong, and fight for my dreams, like they were fighting for me. Me and my mom sat down to logically talk about what my future was going to look like. After my audition there was never a moment she doubted me, even when I doubted myself. I was accepted to school and I have never felt so much joy. I was surrounded by all my friends and family when I got the news, after I announced it they all clambered over each other to hug me and congratulate me. I felt so loved and grateful at that moment. After lots of celebration, Me and my mom sat down where she proceeded to tell me I had her full support, however there was only so much help she could give and I would have to work hard to achieve my goal, and if for any reason it didn’t work out, I would be ok. That summer I picked up two jobs and started finishing my Culinary certification to prepare for my new life. With as much support I had, there were definitely my critics. There were several moments where I would question if I was making a mistake, or if moving away was the best thing for me. I was feeling so uncertain about what to do with my future, I was literally risking it all by going. I would pour my life savings and every drop of money I had to make it work. The thought of failing and coming home with nothing to show for my work was terrifying to me. Luckily I have the greatest best friend in the world, and the most amazing sister. They both reminded me that I have worked so hard for this, and by simply trying I couldn’t fail. So by the end of summer I had enough money saved to be able to move out to LA and start school and build my dream career. The week before I left I spent as much time as I could with all my friends and family, saying goodbye to the small town life. I had never lived away from home, not to mention in a different state. I didn’t have any family too close so I was a little nervous but at the same time I had never been more excited for anything. Being away from my family and my best friend has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, however they have all so heavily supported me and helped me continue to follow my dreams and work hard. I’ve lived here for almost a year now and I have learned so much. I have been given so many opportunities and met so many talented and wonderful people. Moving out here was the biggest risk I could have taken, yet it is the best decision I have ever made, and it’s just the beginning. I thank heaven every day for the many blessings I have received, and can’t wait to see what comes next as I continue to risk it all and follow my dreams.

Kaylie, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My name is Kaylie Pacini, I am 19 years old, I am the eldest of four. I have graduated with my culinary certification and I am an actor! I have always loved being creative, and had a flair for the dramatic. When I was in pre School I was told to bring something to show and tell that started with the letter K. Naturally, I put on my favorite Cinderella princess dress, a tiara, my favorite shoes and presented myself. So if that doesn’t tell you my love for presentation I don’t know what will. Growing up I was always fascinated by the film industry. I would record videos and skits with my siblings and friends and show them off proudly to our parents. When I was five I
came up with the idea to open my own restaurant, where you would eat the food I made and be able to watch the movies I filmed all at the same time. I loved filming with all my heart. When I was in 7th grade, I was introduced to stage performing. My History teacher, who was also the drama teacher, fell in love with my energy
and my expression. So two weeks before the production, I was given my first role ever in our production of Pirates of Panzants. I played as one of the Officers, and Queen Elizabeth. Rehearsals were fun and I enjoyed the people there. However, the feeling I had when I was on that stage was so remarkable. On one of our show nights my costume went missing. So, using what was in the costume room I created a whole new character that matched the theme of the show, went on stage, and my teacher was thrilled. At that moment, I knew I had found my calling. Not many people are lucky enough to know what they want to do for the rest of their life, but
I do. My life’s calling is to act, and after that show, acting became my everything. I was cast as Michael Banks the next year, I had never played a male part before, I was skeptical at first however I quickly fell in love with this character. Unfortunately due to COVID I was never able to perform this show. I was also forced to take time off acting because of the lock down. During lockdown I went and saw a show called, Every Brilliant Thing. I laughed and cried throughout the show. I loved the story so much. I looked over at my mom when the show was over, and told her, “I’m going to perform that” She smiled and told me, “I’m sure you will.” After seeing that show, I missed the stage more than words can express. As soon as I started Highschool I signed up for the acting classes and started going to workshops, trying to refine my skill. I wanted to be the best, I was in almost every show they did in school, my favorites being the Wicked Witch in ‘Wizard of Oz’, ‘The Complete Works of William Shakespeare’ as Adam and my favorite being, performing ‘Every Brilliant Thing’ as my senior project. On my closing night I delivered my final line “1,000,000. Listening to a record for the first time. Turning it over in your hands, placing it on the deck and putting the needle down, hearing a faint hiss and crackle of the sharp melting point on the wax before the music begins, then sitting and lusting while reading through the sleeve notes.” The stage was my home, the camera was my vacation, and story telling was my passion. I’ve never loved anything more, and I don’t think I ever will.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

When I first started school, about a month in, my family had a very devastating rough patch. On November 21, 2021 a dear friend of mine passed away due to COVID. On her three year death day mark, another friend was sent to the hospital. The anxiety of losing someone was pulsing through my body, and unfortunately, she did not make it. I was absolutely devastated knowing a friend had passed on. Furthermore, I not only couldn’t be there to say goodbye, or be there for my family. A few days later, my Uncle’s cancer took a turn for the worse and we were told he didn’t have much longer to live. Sadly, a few weeks later he passed on as well. After that, I got news that another family friend passed away as well. Later it was announced, a student from my school also lost
their life. I didn’t know him well, but I smiled at him in the halls, and not seeing him anymore was hard. It felt so strange, like a void of once was. Every day I expected to see him walking around, to smile and move on with my day as we did, everyday. Now that too was, gone. Four Deaths in one month. Most people say one death can take
you out. Imagine four, all in the span of one month. It took a massive toll on me, my mental health, and my ability to just function. The grief I felt was so unbelievably overwhelming, to the point that some days just, waking up was such a chore. The worst part of it all, was as much as I wanted to go home, to be with my family
and comfort the people I loved, I couldn’t. For one it was simply too expensive. For two, I needed to go to all my classes. I was always told that the earth doesn’t stop spinning just because of loss. I always hated that, how could we be expected to just move on? To just go back to living as if that person never happened. As if they were just a dream. Every day was a struggle, I couldn’t tell you what exactly I was feeling, mostly because there were too many things all at once; anger, sadness, a sense of being lost. It was so much all at once. Luckily for me, I believe in a God who loves me, and I spent so much time on my knees, screaming, crying, begging for the strength to go
to class, to do my assignments, to simply keep living life, and somehow I did. I still managed to go to all my classes, turn in all my work, be there for every rehearsal, and put in all the work it takes to be a good student. I was able to put all the pain I was feeling into my acting and put all my grief into my performances. I ended my semester with my lowest grade being a B, with only one absence, and that was simply due to the fact that I went and watched the sunrise, and let me tell you, that moment when I saw the sun rising above the city, surrounded with my friends, I felt the most overwhelming peace come over me. At that moment I knew I was going to be ok. Everything was going to be ok, and as hard and sad as this all was, there was kind of a beauty to it all. Now for those of you who don’t believe in God, I also had one good friend. A friend who brought me milkshakes every night I was sad, took me driving when the nights were too sad, always made sure I smiled, really smiled. Every night. No matter what he was doing, when I said I needed help, he was there. That friend was the greatest gift God could have sent me. That friend helped me heal, helped me see the beauty of the world, helped me see that even though it was all really hard there was still so much to be grateful for. The month of November started off, so unbelievably difficult. To the point I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the grief, or even make it to the next day. But I did, I made it through every single day, not saying it wasn’t hard because it was. But I did it, and I’m still doing it. The grief still creeps in every now and then, when the nights are long. However, I have come to learn, that’s ok. I now see how beautiful grief is, and how lucky I am to have the friends I have, to have a God who loves me enough to send me miracles, to have been given the strength to push through the pain, and
keep living every day as if its my last, and see the beauty in the darkness.

What do you find most rewarding about being a creative?

I have always loved the magic of story telling. I loved hearing others stories, watching them come to life, and telling my own. All of it. Whenever I was lonely I would pick up a book and read. Whenever I was sad I would want to perform. It was always an escape for me. However, what I didn’t realize was that my performance, my
stories, could be an escape for other people too. When I was younger I babysat the kids in my neighborhood a lot. Every night, after the kids did all their night time chores, they would lie down in their beds and ask me to tell them a story, and every night I would. It was every kid’s favorite part of the night, and it was honestly mine too. Getting to jump around their room, hearing them laugh and giggle as I told them tales of their stuffed bears past lives, or how the orange in my hand was no ordinary orange. I loved telling stories around the camp fire when I went camping with family or friends, hearing everyone gasp and watch them sit there in awe as I told everyone how the starcross lovers traveled the world to be together. Telling stories has always been so important to me, and they have also been a big part of my life. In my senior project, I put on a play that inspired me when I was younger. The play is called Every Brilliant Thing It was a one woman show about suicide prevention, and the effects it can have on a person. I performed it four nights and it was the greatest experience ever. The best part was the amount of people who walked up to me telling me they were touched by my performance, that they felt heard and understood after they watched the show. A few months later, I helped make breakfast with a Santa event, where I was one of Santa’s elves. I got to talk to the kids and help enhance the experience for them. It was a fundraiser for the school programs, however I was once again able to help kids feel, seen and noticed. I took an interest in their lives and they would look at me as if no one had ever done that before. My favorite experience was when I performed a scene from Adams Family for the special needs, I was Uncle Fester, and at the end of the show one of the kids came running up to me, telling me how I was his favorite person, and he loved how weird Uncle Fester was, and yet, he was still so true to himself. Seeing the joy on the kids’ faces as we talked and took pictures together was pure joy. Any time I perform or tell a story, and I see how invested people are, the thought that they all want to know what I have to say, and I could make a real impact, as they all sit, watch and listen. That would scare so many people, but for me, that’s the one thing that brings me absolute fulfillment. Seeing the joy on everyone’s faces, seeing how I am bringing them the joy others stories brought me. It is the greatest thing I could do.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/just_a_girl_1222?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaylie-pacini-a8995836b
• Other: Backstage – https://www.backstage.com/tal/Kaylie-Pacini/

Image Credits

Marcus Mather
Tristen Kritlow