We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kaylie Flowers a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Kaylie thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. What’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you?

The kindest moment of my career so far has been when a then friend of mine who I was dating got me an interview with an agency and vouched for me so much that I am now signed with them. As we all know the entertainment business is hard to get into, and getting a foot in the door is the key. I was struggling to be signed by an agency for over two years. I realize now it was my headshots and a couple classes I needed to take, but then I could not understand why. I had the resume, had the degree, the website, the reel, and the headshots why was nothing moving. Why was I not getting a single email back from anyone? My frustrations were met with silence. This industry is very lonely. I lived in a place with grey walls, no close location wise friends and I was fresh from a breakup. I felt so alone and disheartened I tried dating around even and was so uninterested. The people I met seemed to put on a facade and could not be real with me, or would made fake promises that I had no interest in. I met one guy however let’s call him J. J was not my type but fun to be around, we both knew we didn’t want to date each-other but we were both so lonely and wanted any genuine friendship that we tried to make it work. J worked as an assistant to a major entertainment company and had contacts for agencies left and right. I never once asked him to get me an interview because I felt like it was over stepping.
I say this story is the kindest moment of my career so far because he could have not made any effort, he could have said, “hey this was fun bye” but on the day of our break-up he offered to put my name out to an agency because he genuinely believed in me. He was a genuine kind person who wanted me to succeed and vouched to end my struggling.
While I still struggle in different ways, I am forever grateful for his genuine act of kindness at the beginning of my career.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I started acting when I was around 12 years old. I was pushed into it because my dad thought I needed to make friends and be less socially awkward. Which he was right. After a year goes by, I got the pleasure of auditioning for Disney. However while I was good enough to sing and dance on a community stage I was not ready for the industry. I was “between-ages” which mean I was not young enough to play little sister and not old enough to play older sister. I did the LA thing-I was pulled from classes early to audition in person, I took even more acting classes and camera classes anything to prep me but this age restraint was out of my control So I was dropped. Which is fair because I was not ready, I wanted fame and to be young on The Disney Channel. So while I was sad for a bit, I turned my attention to what was right in front of me. High School theatre. I got a mentor when I was 14 to practice monologues to make sure I got into the Performing Arts High School- I would wake up memorize and go over it till I could rehearse it backwards. I have always known what I wanted to do in my life and that was Act. I used high school as a resume builder to build my business-me being the business – and i made barely any friends and always had drama surrounding me. I was cast consistently in main stage productions, black box dinner theatres, variety shows, improv shows, play festivals and student films. I know why I wasn’t liked and that was because I held everything to a standard of professionalism and thought I was better than every one. Which lets me honest it was high school theatre not broadway and I was not anything but a young girl with an inflated ego. This ego is gone now i swear. After my four years were up I started auditioning for collages. I only auditioned for four, and if you asked me to this day “why only four Kaylie?” I don’t have an introspective answer for you. I could say I wasn’t confidant or that I didn’t want to go into debt or even that It wasn’t close to an acting hub, but I have no Idea why I only did four. And out of the four for acting I got into one. Which considering covid was very fortunate that I didn’t have to stay long. So I could either bemoan about not acting or having shows canceled or I could get my degree as fast as I could. I got it done in three years with twenty-one units every semester even got to study abroad my least semester to study theatre in the UK all because I knew that I had to get to LA and start acting again. After graduating, I moved to LA and tried to hit the ground running only to slip and fall with no one to sign me. Finally after a year of trying I got an agent and got new headshots-finally the ball was rolling..rolling into the WGA and SAGAFRA strike. Can a girl catch a break! finally I book a commercial. I don’t care about the part this is it i’m doing it! my part gets cut. It seems hopeless and tiresome after all these out of my control things keep happening. Alas it is the ebb and flow of the Entertainment business, you just have to take it. Take it and accept it. I have been to so many acting classes where some teachers way of “teaching” is berating and you and cussing you out. I’ve worked with rude people who are snide and too narcissistic and i’ve had to take it. While it seems grim and unpromising and disheartening I keep my goal of being a working actor always in my head. I can take being yelled at or even being rejected for being too tall, but I also take in the kindness of thought who want you to succeed in the industry. I take in the support of my family, partner, and friends who see me hurt and know that I can get back up.

One struggle I’ve faced is being mixed Asian. I look like everything I am not. I get cast as other ethnicities or asked to speak a language I am not fluent in. Being in this third liminal space of being mixed race in this industry is difficult because you are not fully what they want you to be or when they want an ethnically ambiguous character you cannot claim any ethnicity. This is hard because to stay alive in this business you have to learn how to not compare yourself to others. It is hard I know. I see my friends succeeding in other ways that I am not and begin to hate myself for not doing enough or looking a certain way. I have to remain positive that’s why it is important to have a good support system.

Now currently I everyday I do something related to my career. I take a class, say my mantra, paint or submit myself anything that feels like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I tell myself my time will come. I’ve planted the seed in my brain now I have to water it to grow into who I am meant to be. I am meant to be in LA. I a belong here. I am open and receiving of opportunities because I am good enough. I tell myself this every morning and every night.

Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?

A particular goal that is driving me is feeling satisfied. To be fulfilled and proud of myself and I am striving everyday for that as I work for what I want. Also all the people who have already told me no. All the teachers and peers who didn’t support me, talked about me behind my back and preyed on my down fall. My goal is to prove them wrong. To play the long game then start appearing everywhere because hate and spite and jealousy leads to no where.

Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?

my books that have remained with me through my growing career is “The Actors Life” by Jenna Fisher, “The Bassoon King” by Rainn Wilson and “Why Not Me” by Mindy Khaling. Yes I know they are all from the office, but I have dogeared those books back to front. I also try to listen to “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale where he speaks on planting the seed of positivity in your brain and acting in ways to make it grow-While it is a bit old timey spiritual and focused on men, the core of it is to believe in yourself.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://kayliekohanaflowers.godaddysites.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaylie.flowers/?hl=en
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kaylie-flowers-b40845213/

Image Credits
@Camriceproductions @jstephens_photography @fionafilmstuff