We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kathy Washburn a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kathy, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What’s the best or worst investment you’ve made?
Hands down the best investment I have ever made has been investing time, energy and money in myself.
I realize that is not a “normal” investment. However, it results in the biggest return of ANY investment I have ever made, and I used to be a bond trader! Even Warren Buffet agrees, “Generally speaking, investing in yourself is the best thing you can do. Anything that improves your own talents; nobody can tax it or take it away from you.”
I realize that is not a “normal” investment. However, it results in the biggest return of ANY investment I have ever made, and I used to be a bond trader! Even Warren Buffet agrees, “Generally speaking, investing in yourself is the best thing you can do. Anything that improves your own talents; nobody can tax it or take it away from you.”
I spent 25 years in the financial industry, fortunate to spend 20 of them at an investment management company where I was employee number one and helped it grow to more than $30 Billion in assets under management. When I retired as a Senior Vice President I was burnt out, unhealthy and in the middle of a major identity crisis. It was during one of those dark nights of the soul that I desperately typed something into the search bar. I don’t remember what I typed but the inquiry led me to my initial investment of self – enrolling in an online, 8-week course with UC Berkeley called The Science of Happiness. It was a condensed course about Positive Psychology, and it changed my world. Next, I signed up for a year long certification in Positive Psychology followed by coaching certifications in Positive Psychology, Narrative Coaching, Positive Intelligence, Positive Neuroplasticity and Holistic Cancer Coaching.
Each required the dedication of time, money and energy and all in the effort of investing in my personal growth and a new identity.
During those years I also began investing money on my physical and mental health. I started doing pilates, which may seem insignificant but pilates reformer classes are not cheap! However, the investment in physical strength paid dividends in all different areas of my life. I began showing up to life with a strong back, which allowed me to move forward with a soft open heart. I also began seeing a therapist for the first time. Therapy was not something I grew up understanding was a resource and I quickly learned it was a safe place I could allow “me” to be seen.
The amalgamation of investments I made in myself was a very different way of being for me. I grew up under the spell of “giving is better than receiving”. I believed that doing anything for myself was selfish. I spent a lifetime worrying too much about others. I overextended my giving and subjugated my own needs and desires to a point of exhaustion. I now understand I had been existing with Type C behavioral patterning from the way I was loved into being. That meant I did not learn to emote healthily and instead became a people pleasing perfectionist who ignored her own feelings, and avoided conflict which left me deeply disconnected to myself and others. The result of lack of investment was overwhelm, burnout and stuck – covered with the heavy armor of resentment.
Now, having invested so much on my own healing and educating myself about personal growth, I created a coaching business to help those who see themselves in Type C behaviors and feel dis-ease before. I meet them there, before they are diagnosed with disease. Because we now know those Type C behavioral patterns affect our immune system and make us prone to immune disease. I believe it is one of the reasons I experienced stage IV vulvar cancer in my mid- 30’s.
Kathy, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Certainly. I am a life coach, speaker, and podcaster specializing in positive psychology, emotional health, and post-traumatic growth. My transformative insights have resonated with over 30,000 individuals worldwide through my written words, speaking, and podcast, “Investment of Self.” I have had the privilege to be showcased on prestigious platforms such as the University of Minnesota Medical Center, TEDx Hawkesbury, Canada, Close Up Talk Radio, Elephant Journal, and Scribd. I found my true purpose in my mid-50’s – to help selfless, overachieving exhausted women transition from living externally, to begin to invest in themselves so they can embrace a more authentic, internally driven lifestyle which leads to deeper connection, balance and personal fulfillment. Turn’s out Rory Vaden was right, “we are best positioned to help the person we once were.”
On a personal note music moves me and nature is my playground. I live in the woods of New Hampshire with my partner and my puppy and we take full advantage of the beauty and natural wonders all around us. I have two sons that I am so grateful to have been able to witness grow into amazing young men. We enjoy traveling together and experiencing different cultures, food and adventures.
What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?
I had to unlearn the definition I had of worthiness. Turns out worthiness does NOT require outside validation or doing for others. Worthiness is a birthright. One is worthy without performance. What a game changer! Type C behavioral patterns can result in an others directed identity where people’s values and norms are primarily influenced by external norms and others’ opinions, rather than their own values. People who are other-directed may: * Seek approval and acceptance from others.
* Adjust their values to conform to the values of their peer groups
* Look to others for guidance on what experiences to seek and how to interpret them
* Feel anxiety when they see that others are having different experiences than they are
The term “other-directed” was coined by David Riesman in his 1950 book The Lonely Crowd. It’s the opposite of “inner-directed”, which describes people who act independently and according to their own personal moral code.
In other words from a place of their own worthiness.
Now that I have learned to live from this place, the ease and joy I found there is something I want others to have access to.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
I get asked that question a lot and many think my story is about cancer treatment but it’s not. I was surrounded by so much love and support during that time. The end of my marriage was much more challenging for me. Finding out my partner had been unfaithful for 18 or the 25 years we were married shattered my understanding of love, loyalty, friendship and family as well as my heart. After the divorce I moved to an apartment in the city so that I was surrounded by people. The fact I didn’t know them felt safe, I just needed the presence of other humans. After covid I decided it was time for me to find my own home and put my roots in the ground vs having them in the air living on the second floor in the cement jungle. In February I told my landlord I would not be renewing my lease that would end in September and began searching for my new home. I swung and missed on so many houses. It was crazy how much money people had in cash! August came and I had no house. I decided to put my belongings into storage and travel with my dog, Bodhi, around the United States and visit different cancer centers to raise awareness about survivorship issues. We left Boston, made a side trip to Maryland then to Chicago and first lengthy stop was Minnesota. It was my 20 year anniversary of being cancer free and I was welcomed back to the University of Minnesota where I was treated to speak at their Survivorship conference as well as on panels about sex after cancer and post traumatic growth. From there I headed west. The driving in-between the major stays was done with a co-pilot. My roommate from college drove from Minnesota to Montana with me; my younger son Montana to Seattle; older son Vancouver to San Francisco. The list goes on and on. I traveled 17,000 miles over 12 months. It was my Eat Pray Love tour as my sons call it. I learned alot about myself, my ability to advocate for those unable, and my ability to bring hope. I was learning about post traumatic growth at the same time I was living it. I wouldn’t trade that year in for anything!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://kathywashburn.net
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kathywashburndotnet/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwashburncbc/
- Other: Podcast link Investment of Self https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/investment-of-self-type-c-tran-5353751
Image Credits
Alaina Michelle Photography
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