We recently connected with Kathy Gonzales and have shared our conversation below.

Kathy, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. When you were first starting out, did you join a firm or start your own?

I had 2 starts at consulting! My first start was in 2010. I had been doing family mediations “on the side” since 2005. In August, 2010 I was about to start my Ph.D. program in Conflict Analysis & Resolution and I decided that it would be a good time to launch a consulting company that offered a full suite of conflict resolution services including system design and assessment. I thought that having my own consulting company while I was studying would be very complimentary–I would be able to implement what I was learning in real time and I would be able to use my practical experiences with clients as live examples to support my theoretical work. Looking back, that was not such a great idea. I completely underestimated the Ph.D. workload so there I was struggling to get my business off the ground and trying to wrap my head around this demanding academic program *AT THE SAME TIME*! That first year was CRAZY! I eventually got my rhythm in terms of balancing my class/study time with my business development/service delivery time so that I was not feeling completely overwhelmed. I also did reap benefits of doing conflict resolution work at the same time I was doing my doctorate in that field.
My second start was in 2020. I had finished my doctorate and gone into academia. I was in a non-tenured teaching position and in June of that year, 3 months into the COVID-19 pandemic, my contract was not renewed. I started looking for another teaching position but many universities had announced hiring freezes because of all the uncertainty about how long lockdowns would last and how the pandemic would impact the 2020/2021 school year. I decided that if no-one was going to hire me than I needed to create a job for myself so I (re)started a consulting business. I landed my first client in August, 2020 and have not looked back since. This time around, I have chosen to work with a very different clientele–non-profits & social enterprises. The deeper I go into the non-profit and social enterprise worlds and learn more about their culture, I more I find myself needing to develop new products and new ways of delivery that will support those types of organizations. This is a constant source of discovery and excitement. Looking back on this “second start”, I have no regrets. My consulting practice contains the teaching & learning elements that I loved as a professor, and also exposes me to a variety of issues that allow me to use the full range of my skills including assessment, evaluation, design and coaching. I learn something new with each client. Despite the tough days (and there have been some tough days), I am having the time of my life.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I am a recovering lawyer who fell into the field of Conflict Resolution quite by accident. I started off just wanting to get some more education about mediation so that I could give divorcing couples a more collaborative tool to make their partings a little less painful. I ended up discovering a whole new career!
Now, I serve non-profits and social enterprises like B-Corps. I provide conflict coaching services for non-profit leaders, conflict resolution education and learning support, conflict resolution policy development and system design as well as organizational Ombuds support–all so that dealing with conflict is less painful and more productive.
Conflict will arise in every organization no matter how mission-driven and collaborative it might be. I help my clients to keep conflict from getting to the point of being destructive of morale and focus which is expensive in terms of loss of time and productivity. I help my clients define their conflict culture to align with their mission and develop a system for resolving conflict that gives clarity to every team member so that they have some direction when conflict does arise. I share knowledge and teach the skills needed to identify, surface and effectively resolve conflicts involving colleagues, Board members and even stakeholders in the communities served by these organizations.
I provide a customized service based on my signature A.C.T. model that incorporates assessment of an organization’s unique needs, co-creation with team members who bring to the table their talents, organizational knowledge and lived experiences, and transformation through ongoing individual and organizational support.
After doing this work for so many years, I am most proud of how good I have gotten at really making my organizational intervention a participatory exercise that allows for team members to be involved in the design process and the decision-making about what learning is best for them.
One word I would use to describe working with me is “fun”. I believe in the use of play as an impactful learning tool, particularly for adults who already have so much stress in their lives. It is a journey of discovery, learning and healing that will make you look at conflict differently–past the discomfort to the opportunities for growth that will make your organization more resilient.

Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?

I am very dynamic (my friends might say dramatic) and people relate well to my energy when they meet me in person. I know this is a strength so my most effective strategy for growing my clientele has been the use of personal interactions, whether online via Zoom or live, as the way to engage with potential clients and turn them into actual clients.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

I started off my professional life as a family litigator and I. Loved. It! However, as I gained more experience and took on more complex (and emotionally fraught) cases, I realized that litigation, in many cases, caused more harm to the divorcing couple than good–particularly couples with children. When the use of mediation as an alternative to litigation was introduced in the court in my city, I figured that I would get some education to understand this new trend so that I could recommend it to my clients. So what did I do? I signed up for a Masters program in Conflict Resolution of course! I do not do things by half measures!
During that program, I realized that the conflict resolution field was so much more than just mediation. I was hooked and so I decided that I wanted to pursue the path to becoming a conflict resolution practitioner. But how was I to change course? I wrestled with that question for weeks. Then, right after graduation, before the ink was dry on my Masters degree, and also before I lost my courage, I sold my law practice, ended my long-term relationship (because they were not onboard with this new direction I wanted my life to take), got a job at a conflict resolution think tank…and lived happily ever after.
Just kidding about that last part. The process of changing careers (especially at 40!) was excruciating. I had to battle so much doubt from my friends (who were all lawyers). One of them even questioned whether I was having a nervous breakdown. My family could not understand what I was doing, my former partner was really hurt and angry at me for “being selfish” and worst of all, my anxiety was through the roof and showed up as upset stomachs, headaches and insomnia. Fun times! Did I mention that I also took a financial hit since I was no longer earning “lawyer money”?
What kept me going in those first couple years after the switch was a healthy dose of spite–my stubborn refusal to fail and give the naysayers a chance to gloat. I also identified a couple good mentors, joined a professional association for support and resources, attended conferences to mingle with and learn from peers and found ways to get myself in front of potential clients so that I stood a better chance of getting them to at least try one of my services. With a lot of hard work and a good amount of luck, I’m still here–making a living, learning and being grateful every day for being brave enough to take that leap and go after what I really wanted.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.drkathygonzales.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathy-gonzales-ph-d-595b2436