We recently connected with Kathy Butler and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Kathy, thanks for joining us today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

This is such a timely question because I recently released a book titled My George: A Love Letter to My Dad. It is a compilation of stories that are a tribute to the man who raised me whom I affectionately call, George, and ALL the ways he got it right as my dad. He came into my life when I was very young and taught me so many valuable lessons. The most important by far is that a child doesn’t have to be born through a moment of intimacy between two people to be YOUR child. I was conceived in his heart. And his unconditional and steadfast love helped heal the shattered pieces of my heart due to the abandonment of my biological father. He gave me a sense of belonging; a voice, and he consistently reinforced that my Black life matters way before it was a hashtag or a movement.

In the book, I also celebrate how liberating it was to grow up in a home where my opinions, desires and feelings mattered. I did not take this for granted because many young people in my circles didn’t have this level of freedom. Instead, they were often muted and experienced shame, judgement and fear of punishment for expressing themselves. My parents instilled in me from an early age that you can say anything, it’s just all about how you say it. Thus, I always felt empowered to be a free thinker and to question everything and everyone lest I forsake my authenticity and bend to the will of conformity.

Kathy, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a Child Advocate and the founder of Comfort In The Storm, LLC. We conduct child sexual abuse prevention and awareness training for parents, caregivers, and adult professionals who are responsible for the care and safety of children. As an advocate and author, I am most proud of how I and my family have been so transparent about the pain and struggles we have experienced. And in doing so, we have given others the permission to do the same. It has not been an easy journey to walk out in public, but we are helping heal our community from cycles of trauma by simply being authentic about the most painful parts of our lives and reassuring others that healing is possible for them as well.

In terms of the training that we offer, we are challenging parents and caregivers to abandon the notion that we should automatically label someone as a “safe contact” for our children simply because of a familial connection or close bond. We also encourage parents and caregivers to scrutinize the actions of everyone they know in an effort to ensure their child’s safety. And, we debunk a lot of the conscious and unconscious messaging that persists in many families and contributes to the harm of our children, such as “What happens in this house stays in this house” and “Family over everything.” Our mission is to stop the cycle of abuse in our community through straight-talk education that challenges the status quo; what you have been taught to believe, and what you think you know.

As an author, I am celebrating Black men and dispelling the myth that Black dads aren’t present and active in our homes and in their children’s lives. Be it a biological dad or someone who has accepted the role of dad in a child’s life, Black men are providing unconditional love, encouragement, guidance, and modeling manhood for both our sons and daughters. In fact, the men in my life have always demonstrated how our boys and young men should love, honor, protect and respect our girls and young women while simultaneously ensuring our girls and young women have a standard to which they can hold a partner (or just a friend) to, as well as teaching us how to give love, honor and respect. We are starting a movement to #giveBlackdadstheirflowers.

How do you keep in touch with clients and foster brand loyalty?

We keep in touch with clients and engage potential clients primarily through our social media platforms. We offer regular child sexual abuse prevention and awareness tips that anyone can glean from and implement into their safety plan for their children or the children for whom they are responsible for – be it daily, weekly, occasionally etc. I think what helps us to sustain “brand loyalty” is our commitment to transparency and truth-telling. We post about incidents of abuse that occur in families, religious settings, schools, medical practices, among highly esteemed members of the community/society, and that can be off-putting for some. However, we are more concerned about protecting children than we are about protecting the feelings of those who are uncomfortable with the truth of this epidemic, and I believe those whom we work with and those who follow us appreciate that.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

It probably comes as no surprise that the topic of child sexual abuse is extremely taboo in many families, social circles and communities. So much so that most people won’t openly follow us or comment on our content. For the first few years, this was very frustrating and almost led me to quit because I wondered if we were helping anyone. However, each time I considered quitting, someone would randomly connect with me to let me know how they had been silently following us and how important our work is because they were learning so much; they were a survivor and wished someone was talking about this before they were abused, or how they have implemented some of our safety tips because they weren’t aware of all the potential dangers that can lurk right in their midst. It became apparent to me that this was not a job for the faint at heart; it might not be fun and exciting content, and everyone may not openly applaud our work, but IT IS the work God has called us to do and HE won’t let me quit even when it’s hard or feels isolating. We are learning that our tribe will find us!

Contact Info:

• Instagram: comfortinthestorm
• Facebook: Comfortinthestorm
• Linkedin: Comfort In The Storm
• Twitter: comfortndstorm
• Other: TikTok – comfortinthestorm Link for my book: https://a.co/d/cRf4EI2

Image Credits
professional headshots – the fennel focus