We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kathryn Roman. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kathryn below.
Kathryn, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Can you share a story about the kindest thing someone has done for you and why it mattered so much or was so meaningful to you?
When I was 10 years old I was abandoned at a Denny’s Restaurant in Vallejo, Ca. Prior to that I had suffered many abuses. I was mentally and physically abused as well as trafficked sexually. I felt as if I had been used and thrown away like garbage. My mother had her rights terminated and I was put into long-term foster care. Due to the nature of my childhood I felt unloved and unlovable. I truly believed if the one person who was supposed to love and protect me no matter what did not then there was something wrong with me. All I knew was I never wanted to feel the pain of being tossed away again. After being separated from my younger siblings I began running away all the time. I began using meth and stealing. When I was 14 years old I met a man who was 27. He claimed to love me and I believed him. I eventually became pregnant. I was 15. I went back into foster care because I did not want to lose my baby. I got clean and sober and was sent to a group home in San Francisco for teen moms. I did not want to be there. I believed I was in love and wanted my child to have a father and grandparents and a huge family. I wanted to provide my baby with all I never got to have. I ran away to go back to Santa Rosa only to turn myself into Valley of the Moon. My social worker informed me that if I was still there when my baby was born he would be taken from me. My midwife began campaigning for a home for me. A Christian couple began picking me up on the weekends and eventually offered to become foster parents for my son and I. No one had ever offered something so amazing to me as that. They became foster parents even though they had nine other children. They made room for us. They gave me a home and a family and love and compassion. I have never forgotten what that family did for me.
Kathryn, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
As I stated before I am a survivor of human trafficking. I was trafficked as a child. My mom was being trafficked and was an addict. I want to help other children/women that have no voice. Women that feel like they have not her options. Women that may even think they are protecting their children or may think they are only hurting themselves. I want to educate them on the consequences of their choices.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
I was stuck in a self destructive cycle of addiction and criminal behavior. I allowed the pain of my trauma to impact me in a way that also hurt my children. For so many years I was unwilling to admit that I had been a victim of trafficking. I thought I was bad and would be labeled a “prostitute” I had to learn there is no such thing as a child prostitute. It wasn’t until I began meetings with Redemtion House of the Bay Area and Liz and Lisa that I learned I had survived something awful.
How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?
The last time I found myself sitting in jail I was broken. I had been clean and sober for a substantial amount of time before relapsing and I was beyond exhausted. I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I was willing to do what ever it took to remain clean and sober and part of that was to begin helping other women turn from victims to survivors.
Image Credits
Mico Quioz