We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kathleen McGee a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kathleen, thanks for joining us today. We’d love to hear stories from your time in school/training/etc.
My graduate program was very intimate, I was one of 7 in my cohort and each cohort had about 6-7 aspiring marriage and family therapists. A major part of becoming a therapist is figuring out your “stuff”, meaning we spend a lot of our coursework dissecting our families and personalities so that we could best serve others as a therapist. This is called “self of the therapist”. Something that has always stuck with me is during one supervision, I was told that I cannot be an outlet for my clients to plug into as I will burn out being their strongest source of connection and attachment. I, of course, being young and full of zest thought that was absolutely ridiciulous because I couldn’t see how I could support any other way than diving into the deep end and feeling all my empathy for each and every client. 10 years later, I now see the importance of boundaries and taking care of myself first. While I still see myself as an empathetic and connected therapist, I find myself being able to teach others that lesson I started to learn in grad school from experience. Self care is not selfish, and I hope to lead my clients and the people around me to take good care of themselves so that they can spread the love and kindness to others.
Kathleen, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Colorado. I see clients all over Colorado virtually as well as in person in Greenwood Village, CO. I wish I had some profound story to tell about how I became interested in being a therapist, but it happened organically. In undergrad, I really enjoyed the psychology-esque classes and eventually changed my major to reflect my interests. Looking back, I see now that I have always been an observer and someone who has an innate curiosity about people and relationships. I think what sets marriage and family therapists apart from other counselors is our basis in systems theory. We have extensive training in thinking about problems in the context of other relationships and systems. For example, a child displaying ADHD symptoms could have ADHD but as a LMFT, I would also assess the whole family. I would ask questions about the parents and their relationship and get curious what else could be going on in the family system that may be impacting the child. Thinking about things through a systemic lens can also be liberating because as a therapist, I don’t have to fix it all: rather I am trying to create a ripple of change that can impact the system as a whole. Or if you think about that as an individual, you really don’t have to be perfect…you just have to show up and try to make a small change that could end up changing everything. I am proud of my passion for helping people create fulfilling relationships. Research shows that healthy relationships can improve our physical as well as our mental health so I’d say relationship therapy is pretty important.
Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?
Curiosity! I think that being curious goes a long way. As a therapist, I don’t see myself as the “expert” per-say. I am getting to know people and their goals and using my knowledge to help them get there. I think you have to be curious to spend so much of your time learning about people and how they tick.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
I took a huge leap of faith moving from Oklahoma to Colorado. I had a comfy life living in the same state I had lived my entire life. I went to college and grad school in Oklahoma so I had a huge social and professional network, but I had never really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I made the decision to move to Colorado after a personal crisis and the need for a big change. I promised myself a one year lease to try it out and after that I could always come back home. Now 5 years later, I am still here. I met my husband here, I just started my therapy private practice, and I have more outdoorsy hobbies than I could’ve dreamed of.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.northstarrelationaltherapy.com
- Instagram: @northstarrelationshiptherapy
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathleen-mcgee-lmft-a745418a/