We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kate Kayaian a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kate, appreciate you joining us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
In the first days of the 2020 lockdown, I knew that the years of experience I had teaching my cello students online (due to my travel-heavy lifestyle) could be helpful to my colleagues who were being asked to transition to online teaching literally overnight. It meant that I was going to have to be visible in a whole new way–not as a cellist or performer–but as a coach. As someone who could teach my colleagues something.
That felt bold, scary–terrifying, in fact–and I knew it was a big risk to my reputation. Afterall, many of my colleagues questioned the validity of my online teaching–They didn’t think things could be as effective as an in-person lesson, and swore they’d never do it.
I worried that people would think I was arrogant, a “know-it-all.” etc., but I forced myself to do it anyway. I posted about it on social media, sent out emails inviting people to attend, and went on FB Live to talk about choosing and setting up the various platforms, the best settings and microphones to use, and other little tips and tricks that are all second nature to us now, 2.5 years later!
The feedback I received was amazing. To have friends and colleagues tell me that I made showing up for their first day of online teaching feel less scary for them. That they walked away from my trainings feeling like they knew what to do. That gave me the confidence to continue. In hindsight, those mini-sessions were the beginning of my coaching career.
I often hear from new clients that the thing that has been holding them back has been a lack of confidence. Whether it’s a freelancer lacking the confidence to make a bigger splash, or someone with a great idea for a concert series, a program, or a cool new project. They always blame that lack of confidence. But it’s Courage that we need in order to get something off the ground. We need to look that perceived risk right in the eye and say “I’m doing it anyway!” The confidence comes later, once we’ve actually done it.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
I am a Career and Mindset Coach for Creatives. I work with clients 1:1, but my big signature program is my Creatives Leadership Academy, which is a 9-month group coaching Mastermind. CLA covers topics such as Networking, Communication Skills (interpersonal as well as online), Finances (personal as well as fundraising), Visibility and PR, and general Leadership Identity and Life/Work Balance Issues. It attracts an incredibly inspiring group of motivated and accomplished creatives from all fields who want to be positive change-makers in their industries.
As a former concert cellist and cello teacher, I know first-hand how intimidating it can feel to want to take more ownership of our artistic careers. We’re often not taught basic business, marketing, or communication skills in school, and then to add imposter syndrome, perfectionist tendencies, and the usual negative self-talk that we all have to the mix can mean that our great ideas never see the light of day.
I spent years learning the ropes, listening to every podcast, reading every book I could get my hands on, and taking a slew of business courses. The result was that I created the very first full-length online music festival (The Virtual Summer Cello Festival) in the summer of 2020, transitioned that into the Bridge Online Cello Studio, which is still going on today, and from there, my coaching work grew organically as fellow creatives wanted to know how they could do things like that too.
At some point, I realized that the feeling I got from working with clients was greater than that of my most successful onstage performance. I decided to give up performing and lean into my coaching work. I have been writing more as well, and have found that I can express myself just as authentically through words as I did through the cello.
I have a blog, Tales From The Lane, which is subtitled “A Lifestyle Blog for Creatives” (but apparently has a very large corporate fan base as well!) and I’m beginning to creep into official “Authorship” with a contribution to a book called “Business on Purpose” coming on on September 5th, and my first full-length non-fiction book (about defining and pursuing our own idea of potential) in the works, due to come out in September ’24.
I think what I am most proud of is how I have incorporated all of my life and work experiences- from performing, to teaching, to my various entrepreneurial projects, as well as the contacts and friends I have made along the way, into what I feel is a unique approach to coaching. I see a lot of business coaches, and there are thousands of life coaches out there, but my programs combine the two. I also love keeping my cohorts to a more intimate size, and I never have more than 25 clients at any given time. This means that no one ever gets lost in the shuffle, and there is a ton of individualized support–even in the group programs.
Working with and getting to know my clients is an honor and helping them to get their ideas and projects launched into the world is a huge privilege.
There are many days when I just pinch myself. I live on the beautiful island of Bermuda, in a house overlooking the sea, and spend my days writing, coaching, gardening, and volunteering with various community initiatives. It’s truly my dream life, but I’m actually living it. I love that I get to help my clients turn their dreams into reality as well.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
When I look back on my life and career, I can see clearly how one thing led directly to another. At a closer look, however, you’d see that most of those “steps” were, in fact, total pivots. The one that has probably had the most profound effect on my life, is the pivot I made in 2015/2016.
As an A-list freelancer in a major US city, with a thriving private cello studio, and no shortage of amazing work opportunities, I gave it all up and moved to a 21-square-foot island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, where there was ZERO freelance scene and no work.
Why would I do something like that?
When my husband and I got married in July of 2015, we planned on him joining me in Boston. By that fall, however, I was growing restless and a bit stuck in my freelance work and wanted to be playing more recitals and chamber music concerts. I also wanted more free time to pursue other projects–time that my M-F teaching and admin roles were keeping me from having.
I knew that moving to Bermuda would mean that a) I would have tons of time to practice this new rep that I wanted to be performing, b) would have the space to pursue new ideas and projects (this is when I started my blog, Tales From The Lane) and c) having given up 50% of my income, I’d be motivated to make it up in new ways, without the ability to just slip back into old work patterns.
It worked! and Although I have since fallen in love with my coaching and writing work, and decided that 5 years of being on the road was enough for me, I look back on those years with such fondness. It was a bold and risky decision, but as usual, it all turned out for the best. and in hindsight, through some interesting twists, turns, and pivots, it got me to where I am today.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
I’ll start by stating that I am 100% a Gen Xer. The classic latchkey kid from a two-working-parent family, I would walk home from school, let myself in the house, and do my homework and practice until dinner. My strong and independent mother was always taking some graduate school class or another–she figured out that her company would pay for one class a semester, so she stayed with them until she had gotten 2 master’s degrees!–after dinner, she could always be found in the living room doing her class work.
My dad was from an immigrant family. He was the youngest by a decade, and pretty much left to his own devices when he was growing up. He basically raised himself.
These 2 facts meant that in an already pretty “hands-off” generation, my parents wanted me to learn to be fully independent and self-reliant. I learned how to change a tire, cook, do laundry, get myself places, earn my own money, and even buy my own clothes. I learned a ton of amazing things, but the (unintended) main lesson I took away was:
“Don’t ever ask for help.”
When I asked my mother a question after dinner and her answer was “go look it up in the encyclopedia” she was trying to teach me about the incredible resources I had at my finger tips (the GenX version of Google.) but I took it as “Don’t bother me. I’m busy”
To this day, I have to talk myself into asking someone for help. It doesn’t come naturally. If I can figure out how to do it myself, why would I bother someone else?
But what I have learned over the last few decades is that people WANT to help. I love it when people ask for my help. It feels awesome to help someone (unless, of course, they are asking me to drop everything to give them an answer to something they could have googled themselves, lol). Perhaps more importantly, things are just better when multiple people have had a hand in it. When you ask others to help you, you’re including their perspectives, their experience, and their wisdom. When I think of it in those terms, it’s much easier to make the ask.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.katekayaian.com
- Instagram: @kkayaian
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katekayaiancello/
- Linkedin: https://bm.linkedin.com/in/kate-kayaian
- Twitter: @kkayaianwright
- Blog: https://talesfromthelane.com/
Image Credits
Melanie Fiander