We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kate Gregory Richey a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Kate, thanks for joining us today. Can you open up about a risk you’ve taken – what it was like taking that risk, why you took the risk and how it turned out?
I graduated from college in 2000 without a real goal or plan in place. I loved the college experience, but in all honesty, I wasn’t prepared for the real world. Now, this is not really my school’s fault, I didn’t take advantage of any of the resources around me. I truly didn’t know how to take advantage of the resources. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I didn’t really understand that I was allowed to ask for help. I assumed I was already supposed to know how to be a person, have it all figured out at twenty. There were so many things I didn’t understand at that point. I was not a person yet. TV had practically raised me and I had no idea how to be.
I have a BA in Psychology, which didn’t really have an obvious path other than graduate school. I, of course, talked myself out of graduate school for fear of the GRE and the world discovering I’m not as smart as I like to think I am. Needless to say, I sabotaged myself before I ever got started. Instead of finding fulfillment in my work, I sought out friendships and community. I spent a couple years hopping around from city to city seeking out a place that felt like home. I eventually ended up in LA. I had friends and family there, it just seemed like the right place for me. I decided I wanted to be in casting, having no idea how to accomplish that I started doing extra work.
Extra work was a great way for me to get my foot in the door and try to learn about the industry. I also was lucky enough to make a life-long friend. But I didn’t last long as an extra. I had little patience for the cattle call nature of the work. I wanted more for myself. One of my last jobs as an extra was a Martha Stewart commercial, which ended up making me a few thousand dollars, thanks to the nutty director. With that money, I was able to intern at a casting agency. I loved this experience and had a lot of fun.
What I didn’t do was ask questions. I didn’t ask for help or guidance. I think I thought that through the internship a job would just appear in front of me. When I did get an interview I didn’t take advantage of my internship to ask for help preparing. I did not understand that it wouldn’t make me look less than to ask for help. I certainly didn’t get that job nor any other job in casting. Later, a pilates client who was herself a casting director assured me that I am too kind for casting. I like to believe she’s right.
I continued on through my early twenties wandering from job to job without any real thought. I worked at a tennis club in Pacific Palisades, two uninspiring desk jobs in Santa Monica. I was nowhere near being satisfied in my professional life. I was in LA but wasn’t even working in the industry. I was uncomfortable in my choices and did not know how to change course. I already felt like it was too late and I wasn’t even twenty-five.
The friend I made doing extra work, who happened to now be my roommate, gave me some direction. She worked for a staffing agency in Beverly Hills. I interviewed with them and immediately started doing temp work which quickly moved to a permanent position at MTV Networks. I started as a receptionist, then fell into a position in Ad Sales for Nickelodeon. I had no idea how I got there, felt as though I did not deserve it and also had no interest in what the department actually did.
But the work was steady, I had a 401k, I liked the people I was working with and honestly felt cool getting to say I worked for Nickelodeon. I loved the perks: we had beach day, In n Out food truck day, the Kids Choice Awards, the free donuts on Mondays and bagels on Fridays. I was living the American corporate dream.
And yet, on the inside I was a mess. I didn’t feel like I deserved the job. Definitely felt like someone was going to figure out that I didn’t belong. I once again didn’t ask anyone for guidance or help, instead just floundered around waiting to be found out. I didn’t take advantage of any of the other departments where I might have wanted to work. I just floated along passively while internally I was stress sweating my days away.
I worked there for five years. There are some events I planned that I’m proud of. Some movie screenings and client ski trips. But really, I was just playing dress up and acting like I thought an adult would. I have nothing to show from that time, except that I found pilates. And I had the flexibility to take pilates twice a week during my lunch hour. I had the time to learn that I loved pilates and loved the way I felt doing it. I got to bond with my instructor and find the mentor I had always been looking for. My bosses were even supportive of my taking time off for teacher training. For a corporate giant, it was a rather supportive work environment.
While I was in teacher training, which lasted for two weeks every couple months, I didn’t have a clear idea of what I was going to do. I couldn’t imagine not having a stable consistent job. I couldn’t imagine not having health insurance, sick leave and paid vacation. I had security in a job that I had no passion for, and it really was getting harder and harder to hide my lack of interest in this line of work.
My stress and anxiety was on the rise, while my responsibilities at work were falling aside. I was letting things slip, finding ways to leave work early, I was mentally checked out. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, which did happen. Right before Thanksgiving my bosses sat me down for a serious talk about my work product. It was a fair conversation and probably long overdue. But I still wasn’t ready for it. I cried, which was amazingly unprofessional. My stress and anxiety finally got the better of me and I basically had a breakdown in my boss’ office. Over the holiday, I decided it was better for me and Nickelodeon to quit. I had the support of my boyfriend, now husband, and I had already secured a part time pilates position through my mentor.
I felt a wave of release when I turned in my notice. I also think my bosses experienced the same release. Neither of them thought I was actually going to pursue pilates. In fact, everyone on my team was shocked that I was leaving the corporate world. A world that I never truly fit into. I didn’t want to get manicures every week. I didn’t want to stress about whether or not my car was nice enough. Whether my hair looked done enough or my outfit was from Old Navy instead of Banana Republic. I was not built for a corporate environment. I didn’t know how to play the game nor was I interested in learning the rules.
My first year of teaching pilates was like a cold plunge. At first it was awful and scary, my body was tense and I was having stress dreams nightly. But after a bit I gained in confidence, gained some clients, tried different studios on for size before eventually, towards the end of my first year teaching, I found the studio that I called home for ten years. I started there as a filler instructor. I’d come in when others were out sick or unavailable. I built up from there, steadily getting more hours. I also finally became pro-active in my life, I finally had something I wanted to fight for professionally. I asked for more hours, suggested more classes and eventually taught only at Pilates Metro. I lost touch with my previous mentor, but gained a studio full of colleagues and mentors. It was such a welcoming environment.
Once I found Pilates Metro I never looked back. I definitely lost some perks: health insurance, paid vacation, sick days, stability. But what I gained was so much more important for me. I finally felt like I deserved my position and found my home. While teaching I feel comfortable in my own skin and confident in my skills.
I liked being there for a decade, loved getting to know everyone’s clients and feeling the community of Atwater Village embrace me. It was a magical place for a while. Sadly, when Covid hit, we closed down and I eventually moved to rural Montana. But that doesn’t mean I’ve lost that community. I still talk to my colleagues and my clients. Several of my old clients see my previous co-workers for instruction. And every time I visit LA, I get to feel the love again. Just because I’m no longer teaching my clients, doesn’t mean they’re no longer in my life. Pilates is a vulnerable practice and when done well leads to life-long connections and friendships.
I have tried to transfer this connection to teaching online. I have been lucky enough to retain a few clients from my studio days and even picked up a couple new ones on the way. Making videos helps me feel like part of the pilates community, even in rural Montana where there isn’t a pilates studio for 60 miles in any direction. I don’t really expect much to come of it, I just hope that the people who watch these videos feel seen. It’s easy to get intimidated by all the content out there. It’s easy to start feeling bad about yourself, to look down on how much you do. But at the end of the day we’re all struggling and sometimes you just need to lay down on the ground or roll your feet on a tennis ball. Just a little something to reestablish your connection to yourself and the earth.
I am so thankful to the people who helped me take this huge risk and change my life at thirty, which seemed at the time to be far too old to choose a different path. Now at forty-six I see far more options for change. While I continue teaching virtually and posting pilates videos, I’m also looking into Master’s programs for Social Work. I love working one on one with people and helping make their life a little better. When you discover you’re a helper, there’s nothing to do but keep trying to help.
Kate, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I have been teaching pilates since 2008. Teaching changed my life and gave me direction. I sought out pilates and worked hard in my teacher training program. I had been lost throughout my twenties looking for meaning and purpose. Working one on one with clients or even in group classes, I get the opportunity to connect with others and make their lives a little better. I look forward to hearing about clients’ days, the drama in the family or pain over the loss of a pet. I get to be a small part in a person’s day. We spend our hour together working on strengthening, stretching and connecting. But we also spend time connecting to each other and the community around us. One of my favorite parts of working in a studio was getting to introduce people to each other. A few life-long friends have definitely been made in my group classes.
Pilates is universal while still being amazingly personal. Every body is different and needs to be treated as such. Really listening and believing clients when they talk about their experiences in their bodies is so important. And not just viewing people as their bodies. Mind Body connection is real and if a client is not mentally in the session their body won’t be there either. My time with a client is a full body experience, one I am honored that they trust me with.
Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?
Pilates instructors tend to be ex-dancers or body workers. People who grew up in gymnastics, dance, cheer, at the very least sports. I did not play a sport, took one dance class, that involved top hats and a Paula Abdul song, and only wore a cheerleading costume on Halloween when I was a dead cheerleader. My extracurricular activities involved writing angsty poetry and drinking too much coffee. I had a bit of a dark turn in my teenage years, it was the ’90’s and goth was in.
But what I did grow up with was a lot of compassion, empathy and a ridiculous knowledge of movies and tv shows. These traits help me to connect with clients and create a bond rather quickly. I am interested in not just a client’s body but their entire person. I want to hear about how they’re sleeping, what kind of food their eating, if they’re under extra stress or excited about a new challenge. I want clients to feel free to reach out to me just to ask a question or recommend a podcast.
I like to say I’m a judgement free zone while teaching. I want to be that for my clients. I never ask how much they weigh or what their goals are. In my opinion, pilates isn’t just exercise, it’s a way to live. Mind, body, soul.
If you could go back, would you choose the same profession, specialty, etc.?
When I start wandering down the path of regret or questioning my past choices, I like to imagine an alternate version of me in an alternate universe who chose to take that other path. That gives me just a little assurance, a little hope for me, whatever version she may be.
I think about if I had gotten a Master’s in Criminology or Psychology, worked harder to get my foot in the door of casting, or even took advantage of my time at MTV Networks to find a department that fit. It’s really more of a fantasy than a thought.
These are all fun ideas for what I thought I wanted to be at different times in my life, but I would have to be a different person to have done any of them. The person I truly am needed that time bouncing around from job to job, idea to idea. I needed time to grow and learn to be comfortable as myself. I needed to slow down, look inside and figure out what I needed and what I didn’t need. I needed to learn about myself, since I hadn’t really spent any time contemplating me. I needed to learn that baking would be my happy place. That writing in my journal would help me clear out old cobwebs and process trauma. That I really could meditate if I just gave myself enough time and space.
It took me longer than a lot of people and frankly I’m still learning about myself, but what I’ve learned so far is that I like to help. I like to be of service. I like to work one on one. I like to solve problems. I like to connect with others. I love to give a hug. I love to be a safe space. I love to keep learning and growing. I love to learn from others, especially my clients.
I can confidently say I am in the right line of work, even while I keep looking to see what might possibly come next.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kateknowspilates?igsh=cndoN3dkdHB1MzBz&utm_source=qr
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@kateknowspilates?_t=8pG5YWnpG5n&_r=1
Image Credits
Kevin Richey