Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kate Bennis. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Alright, Kate thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s start with the story of your mission. What should we know?
When working with my clients, I often ask them to craft a personal purpose or mission. We start with brainstorming a list of all of the things they LOVE to do, from the banal to the profound, from kissing to collaborating. Then, I ask what they are GOOD at, good enough to teach it. I don’t like the word “mastery” so I ask, “What are you fluent in?” We then draw a Venn Diagram and where the two circles overlap is the sweet spot. No matter how good we are at something, if it doesn’t give us joy, it’s not sustainable. The last step is to ask, “What does the world need?” That’s the key. Only then, will stepping into our work be like stepping into a rushing river, carrying us as we steer towards our vision. As a professional actor, with years of experience and training, I felt I was standing still as the current pushed me off towards the silty sand bars. Whereas, with just 10 weeks of training, my first foray into social work was a white water adventure, with doors flying open to invite me in! Though I deeply value art and theater is my dearest love, this experience showed me that working in a field that is desperately needed has the unexpected benefit of being buoyed along; knowing we are of use. Now, as a communication coach, I use all my experience and training in the theater and in social work every day. And every day, my river carries me into cascades, clear pools, eddys, and forever new terrain.
My own purpose, what I bring to all of my endeavors from coaching to parenting, from friendships to activism, is to give people the skills and techniques they need so that they can speak as their full selves in order to do good in the world.
Kate, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
I am a communication coach. I help people communicate with purpose, poise, and play so they have sway. I want all of us to be comfortable in our own skins, be able to read the room, take risks, use humor, share stories, and bring our full selves onto the TED stage, into the board room, the cocktail party, the wedding tent, into high-stakes conversations, interviews, and importantly, into our most precious relationships.
Together we work to to strip away the habits and anxieties that cloud us, so that when we speak, there is a sense of aliveness that engages, surprises.
The first thing we do is chat about what you are working on: What is your communication challenge?
Do you have a high-level presentation coming up? Are you taking on a role that demands interacting with the media? Do you have anxiety around public speaking? Are you moving from management to a leadership role and want to work on “Leadership Presence?” Are you having a hard time getting your team excited about their purpose? Are you dealing with conflict in the workplace? Are you hoping to learn the skills of “leading up” to make a greater impact? Are you interviewing for a new position? Are you holding yourself back from taking on challenging roles due to anxiety? Are you communicating to groups with conflicting interests and expertise?
Then, we talk about how I can help.
I come from the world of the theater and know that Mark Twain was right when he said that, “It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” There are skills and techniques that anyone can practice to give us freedom, agility, creativity, humor, ease, presence, and the ability to connect with our team, our direct-reports, our partners, our audience.
My Story
At age seven I took my first acting class with Mrs. King, a bouffant-haired, menthol-smoking, goddess. We’d just moved to Cincinnati, I was lonely, and a bit sad. I had a lisp and had to go sit with the speech pathologist during recess: “thoup,” “thwing,” “thathafrath.”
In the Mini Mummers, Mrs. King taught us that actors are never bored; there is always some fascinating person around to study. Grocery stores were my favorite place to practice my noticing skills. I watched how people stood, mimicked their gait, made up stories about their lives based on the contents of their carts, gleaned their inner lives by listening to the music of their voices.
My father taught me that if I find someone boring, it’s because I’m not asking the right questions.
My mother taught me to love the beauty of human imperfection.
And no one ever tried to talk me out of being an actor.
In my early 30s, I was sitting at the light-rimmed dressing table, applying a spray of freckles over my cheeks and nose with an eye pencil, and missing my step-sister’s wedding. I saw the red-ringleted wig, the corset pulled tight, and the eyes of a person who was missing out on having a real life.
Within a couple of months I had applied and been accepted to a graduate program in clinical social work. And I never lived in my tiny West Village apartment again.
One week before graduation I got a call to audition for The Sopranos. This was 2000 and The Sopranos was just it. At any other time in my life I would have tossed my lip-gloss and headshots into a bag and hit the road, leaving behind all hair appointments, rendezvous, parties, friends, lovers, day-jobs, and dirty dishes without a moment’s hesitation.
I didn’t even call them back. I cannot describe the sense of buoyant freedom I felt.
Besides, I was directing and acting in the Senior Skits!
My first job out of grad school was to begin and run social work programs in two inner-city Catholic schools. I’d been hired to deal with the ravages of the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal.
Sister Paula and Sister Carol gave me a small, sunny closet with a thick wooden desk, and never, ever doubted my process even though I was brand-new and kind of making it up as I went along. I just hoped I was doing more good than harm. From these women I learned to hold the truth and do your best. Sister Paula also offered to give me handwriting lessons, though I never took her up on this much to my family’s chagrin.
Around the same time, I found that many of the theater people I’d worked with as an actor in Boston had started having families and had to get “real jobs.” A couple of them had started The Ariel Group, a company made up of professional performers who teach leadership presence using the skills and techniques of the theater. I jumped right in!
From then on, my work, my passion, my talents, my experience, my skills, my purpose, seemed to align with what the world needed. I worked at Ariel in many capacities from facilitator to running their fledgeling non-profit wing. And when we moved to Virginia (I couldn’t find a parking space in Massachusetts), I started my own practice.
And here I am. Grateful for the many teachers who shone the light a few steps ahead so I had a path to follow.
Professional Biography
Kate’s communication practice focuses on helping clients craft and deliver excellent talks and presentations and to communicate with clarity, intention, and sway in all interactions.
A professional actor with over 30 years’ experience in TV, film and stage, Kate has coached senior and mid-level leaders at American Express, AOL, Deloitte and Touche, the Southern Environmental Law Center, CFA Institute, Apex Clean Energy, The Federal Reserve Bank, The United States Department of Treasury, and the CIA; Harvard Business School Executive Education, Columbia University Executive Education, Darden Business School Executive Education, UVa’s McIntire School of Commerce, and University College London.
As the Lead Coach for the Charlottesville TEDx, she’s coached dozens of speakers and overseen the coaching for over 80 TED Talks. While with The Ariel Group, she delivered trainings around the world, developed training curricula, and served as Director of Outreach.
As a Director at Movius Consulting Kate coaches leaders in high-stakes negotiations.
A member of New York’s Circle Rep Lab, Kate has developed and taught programs with the National Actors’ Theater, the Cleveland School of the Arts, Lighthouse Studio, Live Arts Theater, and worked extensively with the Barrow Group. She founded and ran Keep Me Company, which performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and co-produced plays with London-based companies.
Recent creative projects include coaching a candidate for a primary debate (he is now in Congress), a small part in House of Cards, playing the role of a scientist with early onset dementia in The Other Place, creating the role of Masha in a new adaptation of Chekov’s Three Sisters, and publishing an autobiographical essay on Mothers, Daughters, Beauty, Aging, and the Sea. Kate is preparing to play King Lear.
A licensed clinical social worker, Kate has worked with children and adults in a private practice as well as schools and prisons.
She holds a BA in theater from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Smith College School for Social Work, and lives in Charlottesville with her husband and two children.
Any advice for growing your clientele? What’s been most effective for you?
Word of mouth has been the very best strategy for growing my clientele. I include social media as word of mouth. Because I am a solo practitioner, my time is limited. For that reason, I have never advertised but do write a weekly blog which gets sent out as a mailing, then appears on all socials.
Have any books or other resources had a big impact on you?
My reading list: Leadership Presence, by the founders of the Ariel Group, Kathy Lubar and Belle Halpern. My friends, colleagues, and heroes.
On Becoming a Leader, by my father, Warren Bennis. A book that reminds us that, as leaders, we must know ourselves, know the context, and do the best thing, always, for the good of others.
Respect for Acting, by Ute Hagen. A bible for actors that reminds us, very like my father’s book, that we are there to serve something greater than ourselves. In the case of acting, it is the script. And the audience.
How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. A very long (he needed an editor!), but still resounding book on personal presence and communication. The best.
Contact Info:
- Website: katebennisstudio.com
- Instagram: @katebennisstudio
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katebennisstudio
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-bennis/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@katebennisstudio5581
- Other: Threads @KateBennisStudio
Image Credits
Photos by Jen Fariello